"Oh,none.Onemayfail,ofcourse;andonemayalsosucceed.Onecantry,andIamreadytochanceit.Ihavemyconditions?"
"Theseandallothersyemayname.Iwillissuecommandmenttothateffect."
"Wait,"saidMerlin,withanevilsmile."Yewitthathethatwouldbreakthisspellmustknowthatspirit'sname?"
"Yes,Iknowhisname."
"Andwityoualsothattoknowitskillsnotofitself,butyemustlikewisepronounceit?Ha-ha!Knewyethat?"
"Yes,Iknewthat,too."
"Youhadthatknowledge!Artafool?Areyemindedtoutterthatnameanddie?"
"Utterit?Whycertainly.IwouldutteritifitwasWelsh."
"Yeareevenadeadman,then;andIgototellArthur."
"That'sallright.Takeyourgripsackandgetalong.ThethingforYOU
todoistogohomeandworktheweather,JohnW.Merlin."
Itwasahomeshot,anditmadehimwince;forhewastheworstweather-failureinthekingdom.Wheneverheorderedupthedanger-signalsalongthecoasttherewasaweek'sdeadcalm,sure,andeverytimeheprophesiedfairweatheritrainedbrickbats.ButIkepthimintheweatherbureaurightalong,tounderminehisreputation.However,thatshotraisedhisbile,andinsteadofstartinghometoreportmydeath,hesaidhewouldremainandenjoyit.
Mytwoexpertsarrivedintheevening,andprettywellfagged,fortheyhadtraveleddoubletides.Theyhadpack-mulesalong,andhadbroughteverythingIneeded——tools,pump,leadpipe,Greekfire,sheavesofbigrockets,romancandles,coloredfiresprays,electricapparatus,andalotofsundries——everythingnecessaryforthestateliestkindofamiracle.Theygottheirsupperandanap,andaboutmidnightwesalliedoutthroughasolitudesowhollyvacantandcompletethatitquiteoverpassedtherequiredconditions.
Wetookpossessionofthewellanditssurroundings.Myboyswereexpertsinallsortsofthings,fromthestoningupofawelltotheconstructingofamathematicalinstrument.Anhourbeforesunrisewehadthatleakmendedinship-shapefashion,andthewaterbegantorise.Thenwestowedourfireworksinthechapel,lockeduptheplace,andwenthometobed.
Beforethenoonmasswasover,wewereatthewellagain;fortherewasadealtodoyet,andIwasdeterminedtospringthemiraclebeforemidnight,forbusinessreasons:forwhereasamiracleworkedfortheChurchonaweek-dayisworthagooddeal,itisworthsixtimesasmuchifyougetitinonaSunday.Inninehoursthewaterhadrisentoitscustomarylevel——thatistosay,itwaswithintwenty-threefeetofthetop.Weputinalittleironpump,oneofthefirstturnedoutbymyworksnearthecapital;weboredintoastonereservoirwhichstoodagainsttheouterwallofthewell-chamberandinsertedasectionofleadpipethatwaslongenoughtoreachtothedoorofthechapelandprojectbeyondthethreshold,wherethegushingwaterwouldbevisibletothetwohundredandfiftyacresofpeopleIwasintendingshouldbepresentontheflatplaininfrontofthislittleholyhillockatthepropertime.
Weknockedtheheadoutofanemptyhogsheadandhoistedthishogsheadtotheflatroofofthechapel,whereweclampeditdownfast,pouredingunpowdertillitlaylooselyaninchdeeponthebottom,thenwestooduprocketsinthehogsheadasthickastheycouldlooselystand,allthedifferentbreedsofrocketsthereare;andtheymadeaportlyandimposingsheaf,Icantellyou.Wegroundedthewireofapocketelectricalbatteryinthatpowder,weplacedawholemagazineofGreekfireoneachcorneroftheroof——blueononecorner,greenonanother,redonanother,andpurpleonthelast——andgroundedawireineach.
Abouttwohundredyardsoff,intheflat,webuiltapenofscantlings,aboutfourfeethigh,andlaidplanksonit,andsomadeaplatform.Wecovereditwithswelltapestriesborrowedfortheoccasion,andtoppeditoffwiththeabbot'sownthrone.Whenyouaregoingtodoamiracleforanignorantrace,youwanttogetineverydetailthatwillcount;
youwanttomakeallthepropertiesimpressivetothepubliceye;youwanttomakematterscomfortableforyourheadguest;thenyoucanturnyourselflooseandplayyoureffectsforalltheyareworth.Iknowthevalueofthesethings,forIknowhumannature.Youcan'tthrowtoomuchstyleintoamiracle.Itcoststrouble,andwork,andsometimesmoney;butitpaysintheend.Well,webroughtthewirestothegroundatthechapel,andthenbroughtthemunderthegroundtotheplatform,andhidthebatteriesthere.Weputaropefenceahundredfeetsquarearoundtheplatformtokeepoffthecommonmultitude,andthatfinishedthework.Myideawas,doorsopenat10:30,performancetobeginat11:25sharp.IwishedIcouldchargeadmission,butofcoursethatwouldn'tanswer.Iinstructedmyboystobeinthechapelasearlyas10,beforeanybodywasaround,andbereadytomanthepumpsatthepropertime,andmakethefurfly.Thenwewenthometosupper.
Thenewsofthedisastertothewellhadtraveledfarbythistime;
andnowfortwoorthreedaysasteadyavalancheofpeoplehadbeenpouringintothevalley.Thelowerendofthevalleywasbecomeonehugecamp;
weshouldhaveagoodhouse,noquestionaboutthat.Crierswenttheroundsearlyintheeveningandannouncedthecomingattempt,whichputeverypulseuptofeverheat.Theygavenoticethattheabbotandhisofficialsuitewouldmoveinstateandoccupytheplatformat10:30,uptowhichtimealltheregionwhichwasundermybanmustbeclear;thebellswouldthenceasefromtolling,andthissignshouldbepermissiontothemultitudestocloseinandtaketheirplaces.
Iwasattheplatformandallreadytodothehonorswhentheabbot'ssolemnprocessionhoveinsight——whichitdidnotdotillitwasnearlytotheropefence,becauseitwasastarlessblacknightandnotorchespermitted.WithitcameMerlin,andtookafrontseatontheplatform;
hewasasgoodashiswordforonce.Onecouldnotseethemultitudesbankedtogetherbeyondtheban,buttheywerethere,justthesame.Themomentthebellsstopped,thosebankedmassesbrokeandpouredoverthelinelikeavastblackwave,andforasmuchasahalfhouritcontinuedtoflow,andthenitsolidifieditself,andyoucouldhavewalkeduponapavementofhumanheadsto——well,miles.
Wehadasolemnstage-wait,now,forabouttwentyminutes——athingIhadcountedonforeffect;itisalwaysgoodtoletyouraudiencehaveachancetoworkupitsexpectancy.Atlength,outofthesilenceanobleLatinchant——men'svoices——brokeandswelledupandrolledawayintothenight,amajestictideofmelody.Ihadputthatup,too,anditwasoneofthebesteffectsIeverinvented.WhenitwasfinishedIstoodupontheplatformandextendedmyhandsabroad,fortwominutes,withmyfaceuplifted——thatalwaysproducesadeadhush——andthenslowlypronouncedthisghastlywordwithakindofawfulnesswhichcausedhundredstotremble,andmanywomentofaint:
"Constantinopolitanischerdudelsackspfeifenmachersgesellschafft!"
JustasIwasmoaningouttheclosinghunksofthatword,Itouchedoffoneofmyelectricconnectionsandallthatmurkyworldofpeoplestoodrevealedinahideousblueglare!Itwasimmense——thateffect!Lotsofpeopleshrieked,womencurledupandquitineverydirection,foundlingscollapsedbyplatoons.Theabbotandthemonkscrossedthemselvesnimblyandtheirlipsflutteredwithagitatedprayers.Merlinheldhisgrip,buthewasastonishedcleardowntohiscorns;hehadneverseenanythingtobeginwiththat,before.Nowwasthetimetopileintheeffects.Iliftedmyhandsandgroanedoutthisword——asitwereinagony:
"Nihilistendynamittheaterkaestchenssprengungsattentaetsversuchungen!"——
andturnedontheredfire!YoushouldhaveheardthatAtlanticofpeoplemoanandhowlwhenthatcrimsonhelljoinedtheblue!AftersixtysecondsIshouted:
"Transvaaltruppentropentransporttrampelthiertreibertrauungsthraenentragoedie!"——
andlitupthegreenfire!Afterwaitingonlyfortysecondsthistime,Ispreadmyarmsabroadandthunderedoutthedevastatingsyllablesofthiswordofwords:
"Mekkamuselmannenmassenmenchenmoerdermohrenmuttermarmormonumentenmacher!"——
andwhirledonthepurpleglare!Theretheywere,allgoingatonce,red,blue,green,purple!——fourfuriousvolcanoespouringvastcloudsofradiantsmokealoft,andspreadingablindingrainbowednoondaytothefurthestconfinesofthatvalley.Inthedistanceonecouldseethatfellowonthepillarstandingrigidagainstthebackgroundofsky,hisseesawstoppedforthefirsttimeintwentyyears.Iknewtheboyswereatthepumpnowandready.SoIsaidtotheabbot:
"Thetimeiscome,Father.Iamabouttopronouncethedreadnameandcommandthespelltodissolve.Youwanttobraceup,andtakeholdofsomething."
ThenIshoutedtothepeople:"Behold,inanotherminutethespellwillbebroken,ornomortalcanbreakit.Ifitbreak,allwillknowit,foryouwillseethesacredwatergushfromthechapeldoor!"
Istoodafewmoments,toletthehearershaveachancetospreadmyannouncementtothosewhocouldn'thear,andsoconveyittothefurthestranks,thenImadeagrandexhibitionofextraposturingandgesturing,andshouted:
"Lo,Icommandthefellspiritthatpossessestheholyfountaintonowdisgorgeintotheskiesalltheinfernalfiresthatstillremaininhim,andstraightwaydissolvehisspellandfleehencetothepit,theretolieboundathousandyears.ByhisowndreadnameIcommandit——BGWJJILLIGKKK!"
ThenItouchedoffthehogsheadofrockets,andavastfountainofdazzlinglancesoffirevomiteditselftowardthezenithwithahissingrush,andburstinmid-skyintoastormofflashingjewels!Onemightygroanofterrorstartedupfromthemassedpeople——thensuddenlybrokeintoawildhosannahofjoy——forthere,fairandplainintheuncannyglare,theysawthefreedwaterleapingforth!Theoldabbotcouldnotspeakaword,fortearsandthechokingsinhisthroat;withoututteranceofanysort,hefoldedmeinhisarmsandmashedme.Itwasmoreeloquentthanspeech.Andhardertogetover,too,inacountrywheretherewerereallynodoctorsthatwereworthadamagednickel.
Youshouldhaveseenthoseacresofpeoplethrowthemselvesdowninthatwaterandkissit;kissit,andpetit,andfondleit,andtalktoitasifitwerealive,andwelcomeitbackwiththedearnamestheygavetheirdarlings,justasifithadbeenafriendwhowaslonggoneawayandlost,andwascomehomeagain.Yes,itwasprettytosee,andmademethinkmoreofthemthanIhaddonebefore.
IsentMerlinhomeonashutter.HehadcavedinandgonedownlikealandslidewhenIpronouncedthatfearfulname,andhadnevercometosince.Heneverhadheardthatnamebefore,——neitherhadI——buttohimitwastherightone.Anyjumblewouldhavebeentherightone.Headmitted,afterward,thatthatspirit'sownmothercouldnothavepronouncedthatnamebetterthanIdid.HenevercouldunderstandhowIsurvivedit,andIdidn'ttellhim.Itisonlyyoungmagiciansthatgiveawayasecretlikethat.Merlinspentthreemonthsworkingenchantmentstotrytofindoutthedeeptrickofhowtopronouncethatnameandoutliveit.Buthedidn'tarrive.
WhenIstartedtothechapel,thepopulaceuncoveredandfellbackreverentlytomakeawidewayforme,asifIhadbeensomekindofasuperiorbeing——andIwas.Iwasawareofthat.Itookalonganightshiftofmonks,andtaughtthemthemysteryofthepump,andsetthemtowork,foritwasplainthatagoodpartofthepeopleoutthereweregoingtositupwiththewaterallnight,consequentlyitwasbutrightthattheyshouldhavealltheywantedofit.Tothosemonksthatpumpwasagooddealofamiracleitself,andtheywerefullofwonderoverit;andofadmiration,too,oftheexceedingeffectivenessofitsperformance.
Itwasagreatnight,animmensenight.Therewasreputationinit.
Icouldhardlygettosleepforgloryingoverit.
AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter24Chapter24-ARivalMagicianMYinfluenceintheValleyofHolinesswassomethingprodigiousnow.Itseemedworthwhiletotrytoturnittosomevaluableaccount.Thethoughtcametomethenextmorning,andwassuggestedbymyseeingoneofmyknightswhowasinthesoaplinecomeridingin.Accordingtohistory,themonksofthisplacetwocenturiesbeforehadbeenworldlymindedenoughtowanttowash.Itmightbethattherewasaleavenofthisunrighteousnessstillremaining.SoIsoundedaBrother:
"Wouldn'tyoulikeabath?"
Heshudderedatthethought——thethoughtoftheperilofittothewell——buthesaidwithfeeling:
"Oneneedsnottoaskthatofapoorbodywhohasnotknownthatblessedrefreshmentsiththathewasaboy.WouldGodImightwashme!butitmaynotbe,fairsir,temptmenot;itisforbidden."
AndthenhesighedinsuchasorrowfulwaythatIwasresolvedheshouldhaveatleastonelayerofhisrealestateremoved,ifitsizedupmywholeinfluenceandbankruptedthepile.SoIwenttotheabbotandaskedforapermitforthisBrother.Heblenchedattheidea——Idon'tmeanthatyoucouldseehimblench,forofcourseyoucouldn'tseeitwithoutyouscrapedhim,andIdidn'tcareenoughaboutittoscrapehim,butIknewtheblenchwasthere,justthesame,andwithinabook-cover'sthicknessofthesurface,too——blenched,andtrembled.Hesaid:
"Ah,son,askaughtelsethouwilt,anditisthine,andfreelygrantedoutofagratefulheart——butthis,oh,this!Wouldyoudriveawaytheblessedwateragain?"
"No,Father,Iwillnotdriveitaway.Ihavemysteriousknowledgewhichteachesmethattherewasanerrorthatothertimewhenitwasthoughttheinstitutionofthebathbanishedthefountain."Alargeinterestbegantoshowupintheoldman'sface."Myknowledgeinformsmethatthebathwasinnocentofthatmisfortune,whichwascausedbyquiteanothersortofsin."
"Thesearebravewords——but——butrightwelcome,iftheybetrue."
"Theyaretrue,indeed.Letmebuildthebathagain,Father.Letmebuilditagain,andthefountainshallflowforever."
"Youpromisethis?——youpromiseit?Saytheword——sayyoupromiseit!"
"Idopromiseit."
"ThenwillIhavethefirstbathmyself!Go——getyetoyourwork.
Tarrynot,tarrynot,butgo."
Iandmyboyswereatwork,straightoff.Theruinsoftheoldbathwerethereyetinthebasementofthemonastery,notastonemissing.Theyhadbeenleftjustso,alltheselifetimes,andavoidedwithapiousfear,asthingsaccursed.Intwodayswehaditalldoneandthewaterin——
aspaciouspoolofclearpurewaterthatabodycouldswimin.Itwasrunningwater,too.Itcamein,andwentout,throughtheancientpipes.Theoldabbotkepthisword,andwasthefirsttotryit.Hewentdownblackandshaky,leavingthewholeblackcommunityabovetroubledandworriedandfullofbodings;buthecamebackwhiteandjoyful,andthegamewasmade!
anothertriumphscored.
ItwasagoodcampaignthatwemadeinthatValleyofHoliness,andIwasverywellsatisfied,andreadytomoveonnow,butIstruckadisappointment.
Icaughtaheavycold,anditstartedupanoldlurkingrheumatismofmine.
Ofcoursetherheumatismhuntedupmyweakestplaceandlocateditselfthere.Thiswastheplacewheretheabbotputhisarmsaboutmeandmashedme,whattimehewasmovedtotestifyhisgratitudetomewithanembrace.
WhenatlastIgotout,Iwasashadow.Buteverybodywasfullofattentionsandkindnesses,andthesebroughtcheerbackintomylife,andweretherightmedicinetohelpaconvalescentswiftlyuptowardhealthandstrengthagain;soIgainedfast.
Sandywaswornoutwithnursing;soImadeupmymindtoturnoutandgoacruisealone,leavingheratthenunnerytorestup.Myideawastodisguisemyselfasafreemanofpeasantdegreeandwanderthroughthecountryaweekortwoonfoot.Thiswouldgivemeachancetoeatandlodgewiththelowliestandpoorestclassoffreecitizensonequalterms.Therewasnootherwaytoinformmyselfperfectlyoftheireverydaylifeandtheoperationofthelawsuponit.IfIwentamongthemasagentleman,therewouldberestraintsandconventionalitieswhichwouldshutmeoutfromtheirprivatejoysandtroubles,andIshouldgetnofurtherthantheoutsideshell.
OnemorningIwasoutonalongwalktogetupmuscleformytrip,andhadclimbedtheridgewhichborderedthenorthernextremityofthevalley,whenIcameuponanartificialopeninginthefaceofalowprecipice,andrecognizeditbyitslocationasahermitagewhichhadoftenbeenpointedouttomefromadistanceasthedenofahermitofhighrenownfordirtandausterity.IknewhehadlatelybeenofferedasituationintheGreatSahara,wherelionsandsandfliesmadethehermit-lifepeculiarlyattractiveanddifficult,andhadgonetoAfricatotakepossession,soIthoughtIwouldlookinandseehowtheatmosphereofthisdenagreedwithitsreputation.
Mysurprisewasgreat:theplacewasnewlysweptandscoured.Thentherewasanothersurprise.BackinthegloomofthecavernIheardtheclinkofalittlebell,andthenthisexclamation:
"HelloCentral!Isthisyou,Camelot?——Behold,thoumaystgladthyheartanthouhastfaithtobelievethewonderfulwhenthatitcomethinunexpectedguiseandmakethitselfmanifestinimpossibleplaces——herestandethinthefleshhismightinessTheBoss,andwiththineownearsshallyehearhimspeak!"
Nowwhataradicalreversalofthingsthiswas;whatajumblingtogetherofextravagantincongruities;whatafantasticconjunctionofoppositesandirreconcilables——thehomeofthebogusmiraclebecomethehomeofarealone,thedenofamediaevalhermitturnedintoatelephoneoffice!
Thetelephoneclerksteppedintothelight,andIrecognizedoneofmyyoungfellows.Isaid:
"Howlonghasthisofficebeenestablishedhere,Ulfius?"
"Butsincemidnight,fairSirBoss,anitpleaseyou.Wesawmanylightsinthevalley,andsojudgeditwelltomakeastation,forthatwheresomanylightsbeneedsmusttheyindicateatownofgoodlysize."
"Quiteright.Itisn'tatowninthecustomarysense,butit'sagoodstand,anyway.Doyouknowwhereyouare?"
"OfthatIhavehadnotimetomakeinquiry;forwhenasmycomradeshipmovedhenceupontheirlabors,leavingmeincharge,Igotmetoneededrest,purposingtoinquirewhenIwaked,andreporttheplace'snametoCamelotforrecord."
"Well,thisistheValleyofHoliness."
Itdidn'ttake;Imean,hedidn'tstartatthename,asIhadsupposedhewould.Hemerelysaid:
"Iwillsoreportit."
"Why,thesurroundingregionsarefilledwiththenoiseoflatewondersthathavehappenedhere!Youdidn'thearofthem?"
"Ah,yewillrememberwemovebynight,andavoidspeechwithall.WelearnnaughtbutthatwegetbythetelephonefromCamelot."
"WhyTHEYknowallaboutthisthing.Haven'ttheytoldyouanythingaboutthegreatmiracleoftherestorationofaholyfountain?"
"Oh,THAT?Indeedyes.ButthenameofTHISvalleydothwoundilydifferfromthenameofTHATone;indeedtodifferwiderwerenotpos——"
"Whatwasthatname,then?"
"TheValleyofHellishness."
"THATexplainsit.Confoundatelephone,anyway.Itistheverydemonforconveyingsimilaritiesofsoundthataremiraclesofdivergencefromsimilarityofsense.Butnomatter,youknowthenameoftheplacenow.
CallupCamelot."
Hedidit,andhadClarencesentfor.Itwasgoodtohearmyboy'svoiceagain.Itwaslikebeinghome.Aftersomeaffectionateinterchanges,andsomeaccountofmylateillness,Isaid:
"Whatisnew?"
"Thekingandqueenandmanyofthecourtdostarteveninthishour,togotoyourvalleytopaypioushomagetothewatersyehaverestored,andcleansethemselvesofsin,andseetheplacewheretheinfernalspiritspoutedtruehell-flamestotheclouds——anyelistensharplyyemayhearmewinkandhearmelikewisesmileasmile,sith'twasIthatmadeselectionofthoseflamesfromoutourstockandsentthembyyourorder."
"Doesthekingknowthewaytothisplace?"
"Theking?——no,nortoanyotherinhisrealms,mayhap;buttheladsthatholpyouwithyourmiraclewillbehisguideandleadtheway,andappointtheplacesforrestsatnoonsandsleepsatnight."
"Thiswillbringthemhere——when?"
"Mid-afternoon,orlater,thethirdday."
"Anythingelseinthewayofnews?"
"Thekinghathbeguntheraisingofthestandingarmyyesuggestedtohim;oneregimentiscompleteandofficered."
"Themischief!Iwantedamainhandinthatmyself.Thereisonlyonebodyofmeninthekingdomthatarefittedtoofficeraregulararmy."
"Yes——andnowyewillmarveltoknowthere'snotsomuchasoneWestPointerinthatregiment."
"Whatareyoutalkingabout?Areyouinearnest?"
"ItistrulyasIhavesaid."
"Why,thismakesmeuneasy.Whowerechosen,andwhatwasthemethod?
Competitiveexamination?"
"Indeed,Iknownaughtofthemethod.Ibutknowthis——theseofficersbeallofnoblefamily,andareborn——whatisityoucallit?——chuckleheads."
"There'ssomethingwrong,Clarence."
"Comfortyourself,then;fortwocandidatesforalieutenancydotravelhencewiththeking——youngnoblesboth——andifyoubutwaitwhereyouareyouwillhearthemquestioned."
"Thatisnewstothepurpose.IwillgetoneWestPointerin,anyway.
Mountamanandsendhimtothatschoolwithamessage;lethimkillhorses,ifnecessary,buthemustbetherebeforesunsetto-nightandsay——"
"Thereisnoneed.Ihavelaidagroundwiretotheschool.Pritheeletmeconnectyouwithit."
Itsoundedgood!Inthisatmosphereoftelephonesandlightningcommunicationwithdistantregions,Iwasbreathingthebreathoflifeagainafterlongsuffocation.Irealized,then,whatacreepy,dull,inanimatehorrorthislandhadbeentomealltheseyears,andhowIhadbeeninsuchastifledconditionofmindastohavegrownusedtoitalmostbeyondthepowertonoticeit.
IgavemyordertothesuperintendentoftheAcademypersonally.Ialsoaskedhimtobringmesomepaperandafountainpenandaboxorsoofsafetymatches.Iwasgettingtiredofdoingwithouttheseconveniences.
Icouldhavethemnow,asIwasn'tgoingtoweararmoranymoreatpresent,andthereforecouldgetatmypockets.
WhenIgotbacktothemonastery,Ifoundathingofinterestgoingon.Theabbotandhismonkswereassembledinthegreathall,observingwithchildishwonderandfaiththeperformancesofanewmagician,afresharrival.Hisdresswastheextremeofthefantastic;asshowyandfoolishasthesortofthinganIndianmedicine-manwears.Hewasmowing,andmumbling,andgesticulating,anddrawingmysticalfiguresintheairandonthefloor,——theregularthing,youknow.HewasacelebrityfromAsia——sohesaid,andthatwasenough.Thatsortofevidencewasasgoodasgold,andpassedcurrenteverywhere.
Howeasyandcheapitwastobeagreatmagicianonthisfellow'sterms.
Hisspecialtywastotellyouwhatanyindividualonthefaceoftheglobewasdoingatthemoment;andwhathehaddoneatanytimeinthepast,andwhathewoulddoatanytimeinthefuture.HeaskedifanywouldliketoknowwhattheEmperoroftheEastwasdoingnow?Thesparklingeyesandthedelightedrubbingofhandsmadeeloquentanswer——thisreverendcrowdWOULDliketoknowwhatthatmonarchwasat,justasthismoment.
Thefraudwentthroughsomemoremummery,andthenmadegraveannouncement:
"ThehighandmightyEmperoroftheEastdothatthismomentputmoneyinthepalmofaholybeggingfriar——one,two,threepieces,andtheybeallofsilver."
Abuzzofadmiringexclamationsbrokeout,allaround:
"Itismarvelous!""Wonderful!""Whatstudy,whatlabor,tohaveacquiredasoamazingpowerasthis!"
WouldtheyliketoknowwhattheSupremeLordofIndewasdoing?Yes.
HetoldthemwhattheSupremeLordofIndewasdoing.ThenhetoldthemwhattheSultanofEgyptwasat;alsowhattheKingoftheRemoteSeaswasabout.Andsoonandsoon;andwitheachnewmarveltheastonishmentathisaccuracyrosehigherandhigher.Theythoughthemustsurelystrikeanuncertainplacesometime;butno,heneverhadtohesitate,healwaysknew,andalwayswithunerringprecision.IsawthatifthisthingwentonIshouldlosemysupremacy,thisfellowwouldcapturemyfollowing,Ishouldbeleftoutinthecold.Imustputacoginhiswheel,anddoitrightaway,too.Isaid:
"IfImightask,Ishouldverygreatlyliketoknowwhatacertainpersonisdoing."
"Speak,andfreely.Iwilltellyou."
"Itwillbedifficult——perhapsimpossible."
"Myartknowethnotthatword.Themoredifficultitis,themorecertainlywillIrevealittoyou."
Yousee,Iwasworkinguptheinterest.Itwasgettingprettyhigh,too;youcouldseethatbythecraningnecksallaround,andthehalf-suspendedbreathing.SonowIclimaxedit:
"Ifyoumakenomistake——ifyoutellmetrulywhatIwanttoknow——Iwillgiveyoutwohundredsilverpennies."
"Thefortuneismine!Iwilltellyouwhatyouwouldknow."
"ThentellmewhatIamdoingwithmyrighthand."
"Ah-h!"Therewasageneralgaspofsurprise.Ithadnotoccurredtoanybodyinthecrowd——thatsimpletrickofinquiringaboutsomebodywhowasn'ttenthousandmilesaway.Themagicianwashithard;itwasanemergencythathadneverhappenedinhisexperiencebefore,anditcorkedhim;hedidn'tknowhowtomeetit.Helookedstunned,confused;hecouldn'tsayaword."Come,"Isaid,"whatareyouwaitingfor?Isitpossibleyoucananswerup,rightoff,andtellwhatanybodyontheothersideoftheearthisdoing,andyetcan'ttellwhatapersonisdoingwhoisn'tthreeyardsfromyou?PersonsbehindmeknowwhatIamdoingwithmyrighthand——
theywillindorseyouifyoutellcorrectly."Hewasstilldumb."Verywell,I'lltellyouwhyyoudon'tspeakupandtell;itisbecauseyoudon'tknow.YOUamagician!Goodfriends,thistrampisamerefraudandliar."
Thisdistressedthemonksandterrifiedthem.Theywerenotusedtohearingtheseawfulbeingscallednames,andtheydidnotknowwhatmightbetheconsequence.Therewasadeadsilencenow;superstitiousbodingswereineverymind.Themagicianbegantopullhiswitstogether,andwhenhepresentlysmiledaneasy,nonchalantsmile,itspreadamightyreliefaround;foritindicatedthathismoodwasnotdestructive.Hesaid:
"Ithathstruckmespeechless,thefrivolityofthisperson'sspeech.
Letallknow,ifperchancetherebeanywhoknowitnot,thatenchantersofmydegreedeignnottoconcernthemselveswiththedoingsofanybutkings,princes,emperors,themthatbeborninthepurpleandthemonly.
HadyeaskedmewhatArthurthegreatkingisdoing,itwereanothermatter,andIhadtoldye;butthedoingsofasubjectinterestmenot."
"Oh,Imisunderstoodyou.Ithoughtyousaid'anybody,'andsoIsupposed'anybody'included——well,anybody;thatis,everybody."
"Itdoth——anybodythatisofloftybirth;andthebetterifheberoyal."
"That,itmeseemeth,mightwellbe,"saidtheabbot,whosawhisopportunitytosmooththingsandavertdisaster,"foritwerenotlikelythatsowonderfulagiftasthiswouldbeconferredfortherevelationoftheconcernsoflesserbeingsthansuchasbebornneartothesummitsofgreatness.OurArthurtheking——"
"Wouldyouknowofhim?"brokeintheenchanter.
"Mostgladly,yea,andgratefully."
Everybodywasfullofaweandinterestagainrightaway,theincorrigibleidiots.Theywatchedtheincantationsabsorbingly,andlookedatmewitha"There,now,whatcanyousaytothat?"air,whentheannouncementcame:
"Thekingiswearywiththechase,andliethinhispalacethesetwohourssleepingadreamlesssleep."
"God'sbenisonuponhim!"saidtheabbot,andcrossedhimself;"maythatsleepbetotherefreshmentofhisbodyandhissoul."
"Andsoitmightbe,ifheweresleeping,"Isaid,"butthekingisnotsleeping,thekingrides."
Herewastroubleagain——aconflictofauthority.Nobodyknewwhichofustobelieve;Istillhadsomereputationleft.Themagician'sscornwasstirred,andhesaid:
"Lo,Ihaveseenmanywonderfulsoothsayersandprophetsandmagiciansinmylifedays,butnonebeforethatcouldsitidleandseetotheheartofthingswithneveranincantationtohelp."
"Youhavelivedinthewoods,andlostmuchbyit.Iuseincantationsmyself,asthisgoodbrotherhoodareaware——butonlyonoccasionsofmoment."
Whenitcomestosarcasming,IreckonIknowhowtokeepmyendup.
Thatjabmadethisfellowsquirm.Theabbotinquiredafterthequeenandthecourt,andgotthisinformation:
"Theybeallonsleep,beingovercomebyfatigue,likeastotheking."
Isaid:
"Thatismerelyanotherlie.Halfofthemareabouttheiramusements,thequeenandtheotherhalfarenotsleeping,theyride.Nowperhapsyoucanspreadyourselfalittle,andtelluswherethekingandqueenandallthatarethismomentridingwiththemaregoing?"
"Theysleepnow,asIsaid;butonthemorrowtheywillride,fortheygoajourneytowardthesea."
"Andwherewilltheybethedayafterto-morrowatvespers?"
"FartothenorthofCamelot,andhalftheirjourneywillbedone."
"Thatisanotherlie,bythespaceofahundredandfiftymiles.Theirjourneywillnotbemerelyhalfdone,itwillbealldone,andtheywillbeHERE,inthisvalley."
THATwasanobleshot!Itsettheabbotandthemonksinawhirlofexcitement,anditrockedtheenchantertohisbase.Ifollowedthethingrightup:
"Ifthekingdoesnotarrive,Iwillhavemyselfriddenonarail:ifhedoesIwillrideyouonarailinstead."
NextdayIwentuptothetelephoneofficeandfoundthatthekinghadpassedthroughtwotownsthatwereontheline.Ispottedhisprogressonthesucceedingdayinthesameway.Ikeptthesematterstomyself.
Thethirdday'sreportsshowedthatifhekeptuphisgaithewouldarrivebyfourintheafternoon.Therewasstillnosignanywhereofinterestinhiscoming;thereseemedtobenopreparationsmakingtoreceivehiminstate;astrangething,truly.Onlyonethingcouldexplainthis:thatothermagicianhadbeencuttingunderme,sure.Thiswastrue.Iaskedafriendofmine,amonk,aboutit,andhesaid,yes,themagicianhadtriedsomefurtherenchantmentsandfoundoutthatthecourthadconcludedtomakenojourneyatall,butstayathome.Thinkofthat!Observehowmuchareputationwasworthinsuchacountry.Thesepeoplehadseenmedotheveryshowiestbitofmagicinhistory,andtheonlyonewithintheirmemorythathadapositivevalue,andyetheretheywere,readytotakeupwithanadventurerwhocouldoffernoevidenceofhispowersbuthismereunprovenword.
However,itwasnotgoodpoliticstoletthekingcomewithoutanyfussandfeathersatall,soIwentdownanddrummedupaprocessionofpilgrimsandsmokedoutabatchofhermitsandstartedthemoutattwoo'clocktomeethim.Andthatwasthesortofstatehearrivedin.TheabbotwashelplesswithrageandhumiliationwhenIbroughthimoutonabalconyandshowedhimtheheadofthestatemarchinginandneveramonkonhandtoofferhimwelcome,andnostiroflifeorclangofjoy-belltogladhisspirit.
Hetookonelookandthenflewtorouseouthisforces.Thenextminutethebellsweredinningfuriously,andthevariousbuildingswerevomitingmonksandnuns,whowentswarminginarushtowardthecomingprocession;