"Yehavesaidyeshouldcontinueuponthisroad,whichisourdirectionlikewise;whereforemylord,theearlGrip,hathgivencommandmentthatyeretainthehorsesandride,andthatcertainofusridewithyeatwentymiletoafairtownthathightCambenet,whensoyeshallbeoutofperil."
　　Wecoulddonothinglessthanexpressourthanksandaccepttheoffer.
　　Wejoggedalong,sixintheparty,atamoderateandcomfortablegait,andinconversationlearnedthatmylordGripwasaverygreatpersonageinhisownregion,whichlayaday'sjourneybeyondCambenet.Weloiteredtosuchadegreethatitwasnearthemiddleoftheforenoonwhenweenteredthemarketsquareofthetown.Wedismounted,andleftourthanksoncemoreformylord,andthenapproachedacrowdassembledinthecenterofthesquare,toseewhatmightbetheobjectofinterest.Itwastheremnantofthatoldperegrinatingbandofslaves!Sotheyhadbeendraggingtheirchainsabout,allthiswearytime.Thatpoorhusbandwasgone,andalsomanyothers;andsomefewpurchaseshadbeenaddedtothegang.Thekingwasnotinterested,andwantedtomovealong,butIwasabsorbed,andfullofpity.Icouldnottakemyeyesawayfromthesewornandwastedwrecksofhumanity.Theretheysat,groundedupontheground,silent,uncomplaining,withbowedheads,apatheticsight.Andbyhideouscontrast,aredundantoratorwasmakingaspeechtoanothergatheringnotthirtystepsaway,infulsomelaudationof"ourgloriousBritishliberties!"
　　Iwasboiling.IhadforgottenIwasaplebeian,IwasrememberingI
　　wasaman.Costwhatitmight,Iwouldmountthatrostrumand——
　　Click!thekingandIwerehandcuffedtogether!Ourcompanions,thoseservants,haddoneit;mylordGripstoodlookingon.Thekingburstoutinafury,andsaid:
　　"Whatmeaneththisill-manneredjest?"
　　Mylordmerelysaidtohisheadmiscreant,coolly:
　　"Putuptheslavesandsellthem!"
　　SLAVES!Thewordhadanewsound——andhowunspeakablyawful!Thekingliftedhismanaclesandbroughtthemdownwithadeadlyforce;butmylordwasoutofthewaywhentheyarrived.Adozenoftherascal'sservantssprangforward,andinamomentwewerehelpless,withourhandsboundbehindus.Wesoloudlyandsoearnestlyproclaimedourselvesfreemen,thatwegottheinterestedattentionofthatliberty-mouthingoratorandhispatrioticcrowd,andtheygatheredaboutusandassumedaverydeterminedattitude.Theoratorsaid:
　　"If,indeed,yearefreemen,yehavenoughttofear——theGod-givenlibertiesofBritainareaboutyeforyourshieldandshelter!Applause.
　　Yeshallsoonsee.Bringforthyourproofs."
　　"Whatproofs?"
　　"Proofthatyearefreemen."
　　Ah——Iremembered!Icametomyself;Isaidnothing.Butthekingstormedout:
　　"Thou'rtinsane,man.Itwerebetter,andmoreinreason,thatthisthiefandscoundrelhereprovethatweareNOTfreemen."
　　Yousee,heknewhisownlawsjustasotherpeoplesooftenknowthelaws;bywords,notbyeffects.TheytakeaMEANING,andgettobeveryvivid,whenyoucometoapplythemtoyourself.
　　Allhandsshooktheirheadsandlookeddisappointed;someturnedaway,nolongerinterested.Theoratorsaid——andthistimeinthetonesofbusiness,notofsentiment:
　　"Anyedonotknowyourcountry'slaws,itweretimeyelearnedthem.
　　Yearestrangerstous;yewillnotdenythat.Yemaybefreemen,wedonotdenythat;butalsoyemaybeslaves.Thelawisclear:itdothnotrequiretheclaimanttoproveyeareslaves,itrequirethyoutoproveyearenot."
　　Isaid:
　　"Dearsir,giveusonlytimetosendtoAstolat;orgiveusonlytimetosendtotheValleyofHoliness——"
　　"Peace,goodman,theseareextraordinaryrequests,andyoumaynothopetohavethemgranted.Itwouldcostmuchtime,andwouldunwarrantablyinconvenienceyourmaster——"
　　"MASTER,idiot!"stormedtheking."Ihavenomaster,Imyselfamthem——"
　　"Silence,forGod'ssake!"
　　Igotthewordsoutintimetostoptheking.Wewereintroubleenoughalready;itcouldnothelpusanytogivethesepeoplethenotionthatwewerelunatics.
　　Thereisnouseinstringingoutthedetails.Theearlputusupandsoldusatauction.ThissameinfernallawhadexistedinourownSouthinmyowntime,morethanthirteenhundredyearslater,andunderithundredsoffreemenwhocouldnotprovethattheywerefreemenhadbeensoldintolifelongslaverywithoutthecircumstancemakinganyparticularimpressionuponme;buttheminutelawandtheauctionblockcameintomypersonalexperience,athingwhichhadbeenmerelyimproperbeforebecamesuddenlyhellish.Well,that'sthewaywearemade.
　　Yes,weweresoldatauction,likeswine.Inabigtownandanactivemarketweshouldhavebroughtagoodprice;butthisplacewasutterlystagnantandsowesoldatafigurewhichmakesmeashamed,everytimeIthinkofit.TheKingofEnglandbroughtsevendollars,andhisprimeministernine;whereasthekingwaseasilyworthtwelvedollarsandIaseasilyworthfifteen.Butthatisthewaythingsalwaysgo;ifyouforceasaleonadullmarket,Idon'tcarewhatthepropertyis,youaregoingtomakeapoorbusinessofit,andyoucanmakeupyourmindtoit.Iftheearlhadhadwitenoughto——
　　However,thereisnooccasionformyworkingmysympathiesuponhisaccount.Lethimgo,forthepresent;Itookhisnumber,sotospeak.
　　Theslave-dealerboughtusboth,andhitchedusontothatlongchainofhis,andweconstitutedtherearofhisprocession.WetookupourlineofmarchandpassedoutofCambenetatnoon;anditseemedtomeunaccountablystrangeandoddthattheKingofEnglandandhischiefminister,marchingmanacledandfetteredandyoked,inaslaveconvoy,couldmovebyallmannerofidlemenandwomen,andunderwindowswheresatthesweetandthelovely,andyetneverattractacuriouseye,neverprovokeasingleremark.Dear,dear,itonlyshowsthatthereisnothingdivineraboutakingthanthereisaboutatramp,afterall.Heisjustacheapandhollowartificialitywhenyoudon'tknowheisaking.Butrevealhisquality,anddearmeittakesyourverybreathawaytolookathim.Ireckonweareallfools.
　　Bornso,nodoubt.
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter35Chapter35-APitifulIncidentIT'Saworldofsurprises.Thekingbrooded;thiswasnatural.Whatwouldhebroodabout,shouldyousay?Why,abouttheprodigiousnatureofhisfall,ofcourse——fromtheloftiestplaceintheworldtothelowest;
　　fromthemostillustriousstationintheworldtotheobscurest;fromthegrandestvocationamongmentothebasest.No,Itakemyoaththatthethingthatgraveledhimmost,tostartwith,wasnotthis,butthepricehehadfetched!Hecouldn'tseemtogetoverthatsevendollars.Well,itstunnedmeso,whenIfirstfounditout,thatIcouldn'tbelieveit;
　　itdidn'tseemnatural.ButassoonasmymentalsightclearedandIgotarightfocusonit,IsawIwasmistaken;itWASnatural.Forthisreason:
　　akingisamereartificiality,andsoaking'sfeelings,liketheimpulsesofanautomaticdoll,aremereartificialities;butasaman,heisareality,andhisfeelings,asaman,arereal,notphantoms.Itshamestheaveragemantobevaluedbelowhisownestimateofhisworth,andthekingcertainlywasn'tanythingmorethananaverageman,ifhewasupthathigh.
　　Confoundhim,heweariedmewithargumentstoshowthatinanythinglikeafairmarkethewouldhavefetchedtwenty-fivedollars,sure——athingwhichwasplainlynonsense,andfullorthebaldestconceit;Iwasn'tworthitmyself.Butitwastendergroundformetoargueon.Infact,Ihadtosimplyshirkargumentanddothediplomaticinstead.Ihadtothrowconscienceaside,andbrazenlyconcedethatheoughttohavebroughttwenty-fivedollars;whereasIwasquitewellawarethatinalltheages,theworldhadneverseenakingthatwasworthhalfthemoney,andduringthenextthirteencenturieswouldn'tseeonethatwasworththefourthofit.Yes,hetiredme.Ifhebegantotalkaboutthecrops;orabouttherecentweather;orabouttheconditionofpolitics;oraboutdogs,orcats,ormorals,ortheology——nomatterwhat——Isighed,forIknewwhatwascoming;hewasgoingtogetoutofitapalliationofthattiresomeseven-dollarsale.Whereverwehaltedwheretherewasacrowd,hewouldgivemealookwhichsaidplainly:"ifthatthingcouldbetriedoveragainnow,withthiskindoffolk,youwouldseeadifferentresult."Well,whenhewasfirstsold,itsecretlytickledmetoseehimgoforsevendollars;
　　butbeforehewasdonewithhissweatingandworryingIwishedhehadfetchedahundred.Thethingnevergotachancetodie,foreveryday,atoneplaceoranother,possiblepurchaserslookedusover,and,asoftenasanyotherway,theircommentonthekingwassomethinglikethis:
　　"Here'satwo-dollar-and-a-halfchumpwithathirtydollarstyle.Pitybutstylewasmarketable."
　　Atlastthissortofremarkproducedanevilresult.Ourownerwasapracticalpersonandheperceivedthatthisdefectmustbemendedifhehopedtofindapurchaserfortheking.Sohewenttoworktotakethestyleoutofhissacredmajesty.Icouldhavegiventhemansomevaluableadvice,butIdidn't;youmustn'tvolunteeradvicetoaslave-driverunlessyouwanttodamagethecauseyouarearguingfor.Ihadfounditasufficientlydifficultjobtoreducetheking'sstyletoapeasant'sstyle,evenwhenhewasawillingandanxiouspupil;nowthen,toundertaketoreducetheking'sstyletoaslave'sstyle——andbyforce——goto!itwasastatelycontract.Nevermindthedetails——itwillsavemetroubletoletyouimaginethem.Iwillonlyremarkthatattheendofaweektherewasplentyofevidencethatlashandclubandfisthaddonetheirworkwell;theking'sbodywasasighttosee——andtoweepover;buthisspirit?——why,itwasn'tevenphased.Eventhatdullclodofaslave-driverwasabletoseethattherecanbesuchathingasaslavewhowillremainamantillhedies;whosebonesyoucanbreak,butwhosemanhoodyoucan't.Thismanfoundthatfromhisfirsteffortdowntohislatest,hecouldn'tevercomewithinreachoftheking,butthekingwasreadytoplungeforhim,anddidit.Sohegaveupatlast,andleftthekinginpossessionofhisstyleunimpaired.Thefactis,thekingwasagooddealmorethanaking,hewasaman;andwhenamanisaman,youcan'tknockitoutofhim.
　　Wehadaroughtimeforamonth,trampingtoandfrointheearth,andsuffering.AndwhatEnglishmanwasthemostinterestedintheslaveryquestionbythattime?Hisgracetheking!Yes;frombeingthemostindifferent,hewasbecomethemostinterested.HewasbecomethebitteresthateroftheinstitutionIhadeverheardtalk.AndsoIventuredtoaskoncemoreaquestionwhichIhadaskedyearsbeforeandhadgottensuchasharpanswerthatIhadnotthoughtitprudenttomeddleinthematterfurther.Wouldheabolishslavery?
　　Hisanswerwasassharpasbefore,butitwasmusicthistime;Ishouldn'teverwishtohearpleasanter,thoughtheprofanitywasnotgood,beingawkwardlyputtogether,andwiththecrash-wordalmostinthemiddleinsteadofattheend,where,ofcourse,itoughttohavebeen.
　　Iwasreadyandwillingtogetfreenow;Ihadn'twantedtogetfreeanysooner.No,Icannotquitesaythat.Ihadwantedto,butIhadnotbeenwillingtotakedesperatechances,andhadalwaysdissuadedthekingfromthem.Butnow——ah,itwasanewatmosphere!Libertywouldbeworthanycostthatmightbeputuponitnow.Isetaboutaplan,andwasstraightwaycharmedwithit.Itwouldrequiretime,yes,andpatience,too,agreatdealofboth.Onecouldinventquickerways,andfullyassureones;butnonethatwouldbeaspicturesqueasthis;nonethatcouldbemadesodramatic.
　　AndsoIwasnotgoingtogivethisoneup.Itmightdelayusmonths,butnomatter,Iwouldcarryitoutorbreaksomething.
　　Nowandthenwehadanadventure.Onenightwewereovertakenbyasnow-stormwhilestillamilefromthevillageweweremakingfor.Almostinstantlywewereshutupasinafog,thedrivingsnowwassothick.Youcouldn'tseeathing,andweweresoonlost.Theslave-driverlashedusdesperately,forhesawruinbeforehim,buthislashingsonlymademattersworse,fortheydroveusfurtherfromtheroadandfromlikelihoodofsuccor.Sowehadtostopatlastandslumpdowninthesnowwherewewere.Thestormcontinueduntiltowardmidnight,thenceased.Bythistimetwoofourfeeblermenandthreeofourwomenweredead,andotherspastmovingandthreatenedwithdeath.Ourmasterwasnearlybesidehimself.Hestirreduptheliving,andmadeusstand,jump,slapourselves,torestoreourcirculation,andhehelpedaswellashecouldwithhiswhip.
　　Nowcameadiversion.Weheardshrieksandyells,andsoonawomancamerunningandcrying;andseeingourgroup,sheflungherselfintoourmidstandbeggedforprotection.Amobofpeoplecametearingafterher,somewithtorches,andtheysaidshewasawitchwhohadcausedseveralcowstodiebyastrangedisease,andpracticedherartsbyhelpofadevilintheformofablackcat.Thispoorwomanhadbeenstoneduntilshehardlylookedhuman,shewassobatteredandbloody.Themobwantedtoburnher.
　　Well,now,whatdoyousupposeourmasterdid?Whenweclosedaroundthispoorcreaturetoshelterher,hesawhischance.Hesaid,burnherhere,ortheyshouldn'thaveheratall.Imaginethat!Theywerewilling.
　　Theyfastenedhertoapost;theybroughtwoodandpileditabouther;
　　theyappliedthetorchwhilesheshriekedandpleadedandstrainedhertwoyoungdaughterstoherbreast;andourbrute,withaheartsolelyforbusiness,lashedusintopositionaboutthestakeandwarmedusintolifeandcommercialvaluebythesamefirewhichtookawaytheinnocentlifeofthatpoorharmlessmother.Thatwasthesortofmasterwehad.ItookHISnumber.Thatsnow-stormcosthimnineofhisflock;andhewasmorebrutaltousthanever,afterthat,formanydaystogether,hewassoenragedoverhisloss.
　　Wehadadventuresallalong.Onedayweranintoaprocession.Andsuchaprocession!Alltheriffraffofthekingdomseemedtobecomprehendedinit;andalldrunkatthat.Inthevanwasacartwithacoffininit,andonthecoffinsatacomelyyounggirlofabouteighteensucklingababy,whichshesqueezedtoherbreastinapassionofloveeverylittlewhile,andeverylittlewhilewipedfromitsfacethetearswhichhereyesraineddownuponit;andalwaysthefoolishlittlethingsmiledupather,happyandcontent,kneadingherbreastwithitsdimpledfathand,whichshepattedandfondledrightoverherbreakingheart.
　　Menandwomen,boysandgirls,trottedalongbesideorafterthecart,hooting,shoutingprofaneandribaldremarks,singingsnatchesoffoulsong,skipping,dancing——averyholidayofhellions,asickeningsight.
　　WehadstruckasuburbofLondon,outsidethewalls,andthiswasasampleofonesortofLondonsociety.Ourmastersecuredagoodplaceforusnearthegallows.Apriestwasinattendance,andhehelpedthegirlclimbup,andsaidcomfortingwordstoher,andmadetheunder-sheriffprovideastoolforher.Thenhestoodtherebyheronthegallows,andforamomentlookeddownuponthemassofupturnedfacesathisfeet,thenoutoverthesolidpavementofheadsthatstretchedawayoneverysideoccupyingthevacanciesfarandnear,andthenbegantotellthestoryofthecase.
　　Andtherewaspityinhisvoice——howseldomasoundthatwasinthatignorantandsavageland!Iremembereverydetailofwhathesaid,exceptthewordshesaiditin;andsoIchangeitintomyownwords:
　　"Lawisintendedtometeoutjustice.Sometimesitfails.Thiscannotbehelped.Wecanonlygrieve,andberesigned,andprayforthesoulofhimwhofallsunfairlybythearmofthelaw,andthathisfellowsmaybefew.Alawsendsthispooryoungthingtodeath——anditisright.
　　Butanotherlawhadplacedherwhereshemustcommithercrimeorstarvewithherchild——andbeforeGodthatlawisresponsibleforbothhercrimeandherignominiousdeath!
　　"Alittlewhileagothisyoungthing,thischildofeighteenyears,wasashappyawifeandmotherasanyinEngland;andherlipswereblithewithsong,whichisthenativespeechofgladandinnocenthearts.Heryounghusbandwasashappyasshe;forhewasdoinghiswholeduty,heworkedearlyandlateathishandicraft,hisbreadwashonestbreadwellandfairlyearned,hewasprospering,hewasfurnishingshelterandsustenancetohisfamily,hewasaddinghismitetothewealthofthenation.Byconsentofatreacherouslaw,instantdestructionfelluponthisholyhomeandsweptitaway!Thatyounghusbandwaswaylaidandimpressed,andsenttosea.Thewifeknewnothingofit.Shesoughthimeverywhere,shemovedthehardestheartswiththesupplicationsofhertears,thebrokeneloquenceofherdespair.Weeksdraggedby,shewatching,waiting,hoping,hermindgoingslowlytowreckundertheburdenofhermisery.Littlebylittleallhersmallpossessionswentforfood.Whenshecouldnolongerpayherrent,theyturnedheroutofdoors.Shebegged,whileshehadstrength;
　　whenshewasstarvingatlast,andhermilkfailing,shestoleapieceoflinenclothofthevalueofafourthpartofacent,thinkingtosellitandsaveherchild.Butshewasseenbytheownerofthecloth.Shewasputinjailandbroughttotrial.Themantestifiedtothefacts.A
　　pleawasmadeforher,andhersorrowfulstorywastoldinherbehalf.
　　Shespoke,too,bypermission,andsaidshedidstealthecloth,butthathermindwassodisorderedoflatebytroublethatwhenshewasoverbornewithhungerallacts,criminalorother,swammeaninglessthroughherbrainandsheknewnothingrightly,exceptthatshewassohungry!Foramomentallweretouched,andtherewasdispositiontodealmercifullywithher,seeingthatshewassoyoungandfriendless,andhercasesopiteous,andthelawthatrobbedherofhersupporttoblameasbeingthefirstandonlycauseofhertransgression;buttheprosecutingofficerrepliedthatwhereasthesethingswerealltrue,andmostpitifulaswell,stilltherewasmuchsmalltheftinthesedays,andmistimedmercyherewouldbeadangertoproperty——oh,myGod,istherenopropertyinruinedhomes,andorphanedbabes,andbrokenheartsthatBritishlawholdsprecious!——
　　andsohemustrequiresentence.
　　"Whenthejudgeputonhisblackcap,theownerofthestolenlinenrosetremblingup,hislipquivering,hisfaceasgrayasashes;andwhentheawfulwordscame,hecriedout,'Oh,poorchild,poorchild,Ididnotknowitwasdeath!'andfellasatreefalls.Whentheyliftedhimuphisreasonwasgone;beforethesunwasset,hehadtakenhisownlife.
　　Akindlyman;amanwhoseheartwasright,atbottom;addhismurdertothisthatistobenowdonehere;andchargethembothwheretheybelong——totherulersandthebitterlawsofBritain.Thetimeiscome,mychild;
　　letmeprayoverthee——notFORthee,dearabusedpoorheartandinnocent,butforthemthatbeguiltyofthyruinanddeath,whoneeditmore."
　　Afterhisprayertheyputthenoosearoundtheyounggirl'sneck,andtheyhadgreattroubletoadjusttheknotunderherear,becauseshewasdevouringthebabyallthetime,wildlykissingit,andsnatchingittoherfaceandherbreast,anddrenchingitwithtears,andhalfmoaning,halfshriekingallthewhile,andthebabycrowing,andlaughing,andkickingitsfeetwithdelightoverwhatittookforrompandplay.Eventhehangmancouldn'tstandit,butturnedaway.Whenallwasreadythepriestgentlypulledandtuggedandforcedthechildoutofthemother'sarms,andsteppedquicklyoutofherreach;butsheclaspedherhands,andmadeawildspringtowardhim,withashriek;buttherope——andtheunder-sheriff——heldhershort.Thenshewentonherkneesandstretchedoutherhandsandcried:
　　"Onemorekiss——oh,myGod,onemore,onemore,——itisthedyingthatbegsit!"
　　Shegotit;shealmostsmotheredthelittlething.Andwhentheygotitawayagain,shecriedout:
　　"Oh,mychild,mydarling,itwilldie!Ithasnohome,ithasnofather,nofriend,nomother——"
　　"Ithasthemall!"saidthatgoodpriest."AllthesewillIbetoittillIdie."
　　Youshouldhaveseenherfacethen!Gratitude?Lord,whatdoyouwantwithwordstoexpressthat?Wordsareonlypaintedfire;alookisthefireitself.Shegavethatlook,andcarrieditawaytothetreasuryofheaven,whereallthingsthataredivinebelong.
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter36Chapter36-AnEncounterintheDarkLONDON——toaslave——wasasufficientlyinterestingplace.Itwasmerelyagreatbigvillage;andmainlymudandthatch.Thestreetsweremuddy,crooked,unpaved.Thepopulacewasaneverflockinganddriftingswarmofrags,andsplendors,ofnoddingplumesandshiningarmor.Thekinghadapalacethere;hesawtheoutsideofit.Itmadehimsigh;yes,andswearalittle,inapoorjuvenilesixthcenturyway.Wesawknightsandgrandeeswhomweknew,buttheydidn'tknowusinourragsanddirtandrawweltsandbruises,andwouldn'thaverecognizedusifwehadhailedthem,norstoppedtoanswer,either,itbeingunlawfultospeakwithslavesonachain.Sandypassedwithintenyardsofmeonamule——huntingforme,Iimagined.Butthethingwhichcleanbrokemyheartwassomethingwhichhappenedinfrontofouroldbarrackinasquare,whilewewereenduringthespectacleofamanbeingboiledtodeathinoilforcounterfeitingpennies.Itwasthesightofanewsboy——andIcouldn'tgetathim!Still,Ihadonecomfort——herewasproofthatClarencewasstillaliveandbangingaway.Imeanttobewithhimbeforelong;thethoughtwasfullofcheer.
　　Ihadonelittleglimpseofanotherthing,oneday,whichgavemeagreatuplift.Itwasawirestretchingfromhousetoptohousetop.Telegraphortelephone,sure.IdidverymuchwishIhadalittlepieceofit.ItwasjustwhatIneeded,inordertocarryoutmyprojectofescape.Myideawastogetloosesomenight,alongwiththeking,thengagandbindourmaster,changeclotheswithhim,batterhimintotheaspectofastranger,hitchhimtotheslave-chain,assumepossessionoftheproperty,marchtoCamelot,and——
　　Butyougetmyidea;youseewhatastunningdramaticsurpriseIwouldwindupwithatthepalace.Itwasallfeasible,ifIcouldonlygetholdofaslenderpieceofironwhichIcouldshapeintoalock-pick.Icouldthenundothelumberingpadlockswithwhichourchainswerefastened,wheneverImightchoose.ButIneverhadanyluck;nosuchthingeverhappenedtofallinmyway.However,mychancecameatlast.Agentlemanwhohadcometwicebeforetodickerforme,withoutresult,orindeedanyapproachtoaresult,cameagain.Iwasfarfromexpectingevertobelongtohim,forthepriceaskedformefromthetimeIwasfirstenslavedwasexorbitant,andalwaysprovokedeitherangerorderision,yetmymasterstuckstubbornlytoit——twenty-twodollars.Hewouldn'tbateacent.Thekingwasgreatlyadmired,becauseofhisgrandphysique,buthiskinglystylewasagainsthim,andhewasn'tsalable;nobodywantedthatkindofaslave.Iconsideredmyselfsafefrompartingfromhimbecauseofmyextravagantprice.No,IwasnotexpectingtoeverbelongtothisgentlemanwhomIhavespokenof,buthehadsomethingwhichIexpectedwouldbelongtomeeventually,ifhewouldbutvisitusoftenenough.Itwasasteelthingwithalongpintoit,withwhichhislongclothoutsidegarmentwasfastenedtogetherinfront.Therewerethreeofthem.Hehaddisappointedmetwice,becausehedidnotcomequitecloseenoughtometomakemyprojectentirelysafe;
　　butthistimeIsucceeded;Icapturedthelowerclaspofthethree,andwhenhemissedithethoughthehadlostitontheway.
　　Ihadachancetobegladaboutaminute,thenstraightwayachancetobesadagain.Forwhenthepurchasewasabouttofail,asusual,themastersuddenlyspokeupandsaidwhatwouldbewordedthus——inmodernEnglish:
　　"I'lltellyouwhatI'lldo.I'mtiredsupportingthesetwofornogood.
　　Givemetwenty-twodollarsforthisone,andI'llthrowtheotheronein."
　　Thekingcouldn'tgethisbreath,hewasinsuchafury.Hebegantochokeandgag,andmeantimethemasterandthegentlemanmovedawaydiscussing.
　　"Anyewillkeeptheofferopen——"
　　"'Tisopentillthemorrowatthishour."
　　"ThenIwillansweryouatthattime,"saidthegentleman,anddisappeared,themasterfollowinghim.
　　Ihadatimeofittocoolthekingdown,butImanagedit.Iwhisperedinhisear,tothiseffect:
　　"YourgraceWILLgofornothing,butafteranotherfashion.AndsoshallI.To-nightweshallbothbefree."
　　"Ah!Howisthat?"
　　"WiththisthingwhichIhavestolen,Iwillunlocktheselocksandcastoffthesechainsto-night.Whenhecomesaboutnine-thirtytoinspectusforthenight,wewillseizehim,gaghim,batterhim,andearlyinthemorningwewillmarchoutofthistown,proprietorsofthiscaravanofslaves."
　　ThatwasasfarasIwent,butthekingwascharmedandsatisfied.Thateveningwewaitedpatientlyforourfellow-slavestogettosleepandsignifyitbytheusualsign,foryoumustnottakemanychancesonthosepoorfellowsifyoucanavoidit.Itisbesttokeepyourownsecrets.Nodoubttheyfidgetedonlyaboutasusual,butitdidn'tseemsotome.Itseemedtomethattheyweregoingtobeforevergettingdowntotheirregularsnoring.AsthetimedraggedonIgotnervouslyafraidweshouldn'thaveenoughofitleftforourneeds;soImadeseveralprematureattempts,andmerelydelayedthingsbyit;forIcouldn'tseemtotouchapadlock,thereinthedark,withoutstartingarattleoutofitwhichinterruptedsomebody'ssleepandmadehimturnoverandwakesomemoreofthegang.
　　ButfinallyIdidgetmylastironoff,andwasafreemanoncemore.
　　Itookagoodbreathofrelief,andreachedfortheking'sirons.Toolate!
　　incomesthemaster,withalightinonehandandhisheavywalkingstaffintheother.Isnuggledcloseamongthewallowofsnorers,toconcealasnearlyaspossiblethatIwasnakedofirons;andIkeptasharplookoutandpreparedtospringformymanthemomentheshouldbendoverme.
　　Buthedidn'tapproach.Hestopped,gazedabsentlytowardourduskymassaminute,evidentlythinkingaboutsomethingelse;thensetdownhislight,movedmusinglytowardthedoor,andbeforeabodycouldimaginewhathewasgoingtodo,hewasoutofthedoorandhadcloseditbehindhim.
　　"Quick!"saidtheking."Fetchhimback!"
　　Ofcourse,itwasthethingtodo,andIwasupandoutinamoment.
　　But,dearme,therewerenolampsinthosedays,anditwasadarknight.
　　ButIglimpsedadimfigureafewstepsaway.Idartedforit,threwmyselfuponit,andthentherewasastateofthingsandlively!Wefoughtandscuffledandstruggled,anddrewacrowdinnotime.Theytookanimmenseinterestinthefightandencouragedusalltheycould,and,infact,couldn'thavebeenpleasanterormorecordialifithadbeentheirownfight.Thenatremendousrowbrokeoutbehindus,andasmuchashalfofouraudienceleftus,witharush,toinvestsomesympathyinthat.Lanternsbegantoswinginalldirections;itwasthewatchgatheringfromfarandnear.
　　Presentlyahalberdfellacrossmyback,asareminder,andIknewwhatitmeant.Iwasincustody.Sowasmyadversary.Weweremarchedofftowardprison,oneoneachsideofthewatchman.Herewasdisaster,herewasafineschemegonetosuddendestruction!ItriedtoimaginewhatwouldhappenwhenthemastershoulddiscoverthatitwasIwhohadbeenfightinghim;
　　andwhatwouldhappeniftheyjailedustogetherinthegeneralapartmentforbrawlersandpettylaw-breakers,aswasthecustom;andwhatmight——
　　Justthenmyantagonistturnedhisfacearoundinmydirection,thefreckledlightfromthewatchman'stinlanternfellonit,and,byGeorge,hewasthewrongman!
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter37Chapter37-AnAwfulPredicamentSLEEP?Itwasimpossible.Itwouldnaturallyhavebeenimpossibleinthatnoisomecavernofajail,withitsmangycrowdofdrunken,quarrelsome,andsong-singingrapscallions.Butthethingthatmadesleepallthemoreathingnottobedreamedof,wasmyrackingimpatiencetogetoutofthisplaceandfindoutthewholesizeofwhatmighthavehappenedyonderintheslave-quartersinconsequenceofthatintolerablemiscarriageofmine.
　　Itwasalongnight,butthemorninggotaroundatlast.Imadeafullandfrankexplanationtothecourt.IsaidIwasaslave,thepropertyofthegreatEarlGrip,whohadarrivedjustafterdarkattheTabardinninthevillageontheothersideofthewater,andhadstoppedthereovernight,bycompulsion,hebeingtakendeadlysickwithastrangeandsuddendisorder.Ihadbeenorderedtocrosstothecityinallhasteandbringthebestphysician;Iwasdoingmybest;naturallyIwasrunningwithallmymight;thenightwasdark,Iranagainstthiscommonpersonhere,whoseizedmebythethroatandbegantopummelme,althoughItoldhimmyerrand,andimploredhim,forthesakeofthegreatearlmymaster'smortalperil——
　　Thecommonpersoninterruptedandsaiditwasalie;andwasgoingtoexplainhowIrusheduponhimandattackedhimwithoutaword——
　　"Silence,sirrah!"fromthecourt."Takehimhenceandgivehimafewstripeswherebytoteachhimhowtotreattheservantofanoblemanafteradifferentfashionanothertime.Go!"
　　Thenthecourtbeggedmypardon,andhopedIwouldnotfailtotellhislordshipitwasinnowisethecourt'sfaultthatthishigh-handedthinghadhappened.IsaidIwouldmakeitallright,andsotookmyleave.
　　Tookitjustintime,too;hewasstartingtoaskmewhyIdidn'tfetchoutthesefactsthemomentIwasarrested.IsaidIwouldifIhadthoughtofit——whichwastrue——butthatIwassobatteredbythatmanthatallmywitwasknockedoutofme——andsoforthandsoon,andgotmyselfaway,stillmumbling.Ididn'twaitforbreakfast.Nograssgrewundermyfeet.Iwassoonattheslavequarters.Empty——everybodygone!Thatis,everybodyexceptonebody——theslave-master's.Itlaythereallbatteredtopulp;andallaboutweretheevidencesofaterrificfight.Therewasarudeboardcoffinonacartatthedoor,andworkmen,assistedbythepolice,werethinningaroadthroughthegapingcrowdinorderthattheymightbringitin.
　　IpickedoutamanhumbleenoughinlifetocondescendtotalkwithonesoshabbyasI,andgothisaccountofthematter.
　　"Thereweresixteenslaveshere.Theyroseagainsttheirmasterinthenight,andthouseesthowitended."
　　"Yes.Howdiditbegin?"
　　"Therewasnowitnessbuttheslaves.Theysaidtheslavethatwasmostvaluablegotfreeofhisbondsandescapedinsomestrangeway——bymagicarts'twasthought,byreasonthathehadnokey,andthelockswereneitherbrokenorinanywiseinjured.Whenthemasterdiscoveredhisloss,hewasmadwithdespair,andthrewhimselfuponhispeoplewithhisheavystick,whoresistedandbrakehisbackandinotheranddiverswaysdidgivehimhurtsthatbroughthimswiftlytohisend."
　　"Thisisdreadful.Itwillgohardwiththeslaves,nodoubt,uponthetrial."
　　"Marry,thetrialisover."
　　"Over!"
　　"Wouldtheybeaweek,thinkyou——andthemattersosimple?Theywerenotthehalfofaquarterofanhouratit."
　　"Why,Idon'tseehowtheycoulddeterminewhichweretheguiltyonesinsoshortatime."
　　"WHICHones?Indeed,theyconsiderednotparticularsliketothat.Theycondemnedtheminabody.Wityenotthelaw?——whichmensaytheRomansleftbehindthemherewhentheywent——thatifoneslavekillethhismasteralltheslavesofthatmanmustdieforit."
　　"True.Ihadforgotten.Andwhenwillthesedie?"
　　"Belikewithinafourandtwentyhours;albeitsomesaytheywillwaitapairofdaysmore,ifperadventuretheymayfindthemissingonemeantime."
　　Themissingone!Itmademefeeluncomfortable.
　　"Isitlikelytheywillfindhim?"
　　"Beforethedayisspent——yes.Theyseekhimeverywhere.Theystandatthegatesofthetown,withcertainoftheslaveswhowilldiscoverhimtothemifhecometh,andnonecanpassoutbuthewillbefirstexamined."
　　"Mightoneseetheplacewheretherestareconfined?"
　　"Theoutsideofit——yes.Theinsideofit——butyewillnotwanttoseethat."
　　Itooktheaddressofthatprisonforfuturereferenceandthensaunteredoff.Atthefirstsecond-handclothingshopIcameto,upabackstreet,Igotaroughrigsuitableforacommonseamanwhomightbegoingonacoldvoyage,andboundupmyfacewithaliberalbandage,sayingIhadatoothache.Thisconcealedmyworstbruises.Itwasatransformation.
　　Inolongerresembledmyformerself.ThenIstruckoutforthatwire,founditandfollowedittoitsden.Itwasalittleroomoverabutcher'sshop——whichmeantthatbusinesswasn'tverybriskinthetelegraphicline.Theyoungchapinchargewasdrowsingathistable.Ilockedthedoorandputthevastkeyinmybosom.Thisalarmedtheyoungfellow,andhewasgoingtomakeanoise;butIsaid:
　　"Saveyourwind;ifyouopenyourmouthyouaredead,sure.Tackleyourinstrument.Lively,now!CallCamelot."
　　"Thisdothamazeme!Howshouldsuchasyouknowaughtofsuchmattersas——"
　　"CallCamelot!Iamadesperateman.CallCamelot,orgetawayfromtheinstrumentandIwilldoitmyself."
　　"What——you?"
　　"Yes——certainly.Stopgabbling.Callthepalace."
　　Hemadethecall.
　　"Now,then,callClarence."
　　"ClarenceWHO?"
　　"NevermindClarencewho.SayyouwantClarence;you'llgetananswer."
　　Hedidso.Wewaitedfivenerve-strainingminutes——tenminutes——
　　howlongitdidseem!——andthencameaclickthatwasasfamiliartomeasahumanvoice;forClarencehadbeenmyownpupil.
　　"Now,mylad,vacate!TheywouldhaveknownMYtouch,maybe,andsoyourcallwassurest;butI'mallrightnow."
　　Hevacatedtheplaceandcockedhiseartolisten——butitdidn'twin.
　　Iusedacipher.Ididn'twasteanytimeinsociabilitieswithClarence,butsquaredawayforbusiness,straight-off——thus:
　　"Thekingishereandindanger.Wewerecapturedandbroughthereasslaves.Weshouldnotbeabletoproveouridentity——andthefactis,Iamnotinapositiontotry.Sendatelegramforthepalaceherewhichwillcarryconvictionwithit."
　　Hisanswercamestraightback:
　　"Theydon'tknowanythingaboutthetelegraph;theyhaven'thadanyexperienceyet,thelinetoLondonissonew.Betternotventurethat.
　　Theymighthangyou.Thinkupsomethingelse."
　　Mighthangus!Littleheknewhowcloselyhewascrowdingthefacts.
　　Icouldn'tthinkupanythingforthemoment.Thenanideastruckme,andIstarteditalong:
　　"SendfivehundredpickedknightswithLauncelotinthelead;andsendthemonthejump.Letthementerbythesouthwestgate,andlookoutforthemanwithawhiteclotharoundhisrightarm."
　　Theanswerwasprompt:
　　"Theyshallstartinhalfanhour."
　　"Allright,Clarence;nowtellthisladherethatI'mafriendofyoursandadead-head;andthathemustbediscreetandsaynothingaboutthisvisitofmine."
　　TheinstrumentbegantotalktotheyouthandIhurriedaway.Ifelltociphering.Inhalfanhouritwouldbenineo'clock.Knightsandhorsesinheavyarmorcouldn'ttravelveryfast.Thesewouldmakethebesttimetheycould,andnowthatthegroundwasingoodcondition,andnosnowormud,theywouldprobablymakeaseven-milegait;theywouldhavetochangehorsesacoupleoftimes;theywouldarriveaboutsix,oralittleafter;itwouldstillbeplentylightenough;theywouldseethewhiteclothwhichIshouldtiearoundmyrightarm,andIwouldtakecommand.
　　Wewouldsurroundthatprisonandhavethekingoutinnotime.Itwouldbeshowyandpicturesqueenough,allthingsconsidered,thoughIwouldhavepreferrednoonday,onaccountofthemoretheatricalaspectthethingwouldhave.
　　Now,then,inordertoincreasethestringstomybow,IthoughtIwouldlookupsomeofthosepeoplewhomIhadformerlyrecognized,andmakemyselfknown.Thatwouldhelpusoutofourscrape,withouttheknights.ButI
　　mustproceedcautiously,foritwasariskybusiness.Imustgetintosumptuousraiment,anditwouldn'tdotorunandjumpintoit.No,Imustworkuptoitbydegrees,buyingsuitaftersuitofclothes,inshopswideapart,andgettingalittlefinerarticlewitheachchange,untilIshouldfinallyreachsilkandvelvet,andbereadyformyproject.SoIstarted.
　　Buttheschemefellthroughlikescat!ThefirstcornerIturned,I
　　cameplumpupononeofourslaves,snoopingaroundwithawatchman.Icoughedatthemoment,andhegavemeasuddenlookthatbitrightintomymarrow.
　　Ijudgehethoughthehadheardthatcoughbefore.Iturnedimmediatelyintoashopandworkedalongdownthecounter,pricingthingsandwatchingoutofthecornerofmyeye.Thosepeoplehadstopped,andweretalkingtogetherandlookinginatthedoor.Imadeupmymindtogetoutthebackway,iftherewasabackway,andIaskedtheshopwomanifIcouldstepoutthereandlookfortheescapedslave,whowasbelievedtobeinhidingbacktheresomewhere,andsaidIwasanofficerindisguise,andmypardwasyonderatthedoorwithoneofthemurderersincharge,andwouldshebegoodenoughtostepthereandtellhimheneedn'twait,buthadbettergoatoncetothefurtherendofthebackalleyandbereadytoheadhimoffwhenIroustedhimout.
　　Shewasblazingwitheagernesstoseeoneofthosealreadycelebratedmurderers,andshestartedontheerrandatonce.Islippedoutthebackway,lockedthedoorbehindme,putthekeyinmypocketandstartedoff,chucklingtomyselfandcomfortable.
　　Well,Ihadgoneandspoileditagain,madeanothermistake.Adoubleone,infact.Therewereplentyofwaystogetridofthatofficerbysomesimpleandplausibledevice,butno,Imustpickoutapicturesqueone;
　　itisthecryingdefectofmycharacter.Andthen,Ihadorderedmyprocedureuponwhattheofficer,beinghuman,wouldNATURALLYdo;whereaswhenyouareleastexpectingit,amanwillnowandthengoanddotheverythingwhichit'sNOTnaturalforhimtodo.Thenaturalthingfortheofficertodo,inthiscase,wastofollowstraightonmyheels;hewouldfindastoutoakendoor,securelylocked,betweenhimandme;beforehecouldbreakitdown,Ishouldbefarawayandengagedinslippingintoasuccessionofbafflingdisguiseswhichwouldsoongetmeintoasortofraimentwhichwasasurerprotectionfrommeddlinglaw-dogsinBritainthananyamountofmereinnocenceandpurityofcharacter.Butinsteadofdoingthenaturalthing,theofficertookmeatmyword,andfollowedmyinstructions.Andso,asIcametrottingoutofthatculdesac,fullofsatisfactionwithmyowncleverness,heturnedthecornerandIwalkedrightintohishandcuffs.
　　IfIhadknownitwasaculdesac——however,thereisn'tanyexcusingablunderlikethat,letitgo.Chargeituptoprofitandloss.
　　Ofcourse,Iwasindignant,andsworeIhadjustcomeashorefromalongvoyage,andallthatsortofthing——justtosee,youknow,ifitwoulddeceivethatslave.Butitdidn't.Heknewme.ThenIreproachedhimforbetrayingme.Hewasmoresurprisedthanhurt.Hestretchedhiseyeswide,andsaid:
　　"What,wouldsthavemeletthee,ofallmen,escapeandnothangwithus,whenthou'rttheveryCAUSEofourhanging?Goto!"
　　"Goto"wastheirwayofsaying"Ishouldsmile!"or"Ilikethat!"
　　Queertalkers,thosepeople.
　　Well,therewasasortofbastardjusticeinhisviewofthecase,andsoIdroppedthematter.Whenyoucan'tcureadisasterbyargument,whatistheusetoargue?Itisn'tmyway.SoIonlysaid:
　　"You'renotgoingtobehanged.Noneofusare."
　　Bothmenlaughed,andtheslavesaid:
　　"Yehavenotrankedasafool——before.Youmightbetterkeepyourreputation,seeingthestrainwouldnotbeforlong."
　　"Itwillstandit,Ireckon.Beforeto-morrowweshallbeoutofprison,andfreetogowherewewill,besides."
　　Thewittyofficerliftedathisleftearwithhisthumb,madearaspingnoiseinhisthroat,andsaid:
　　"Outofprison——yes——yesaytrue.Andfreelikewisetogowhereyewill,soyewandernotoutofhisgracetheDevil'ssultryrealm."
　　Ikeptmytemper,andsaid,indifferently:
　　"NowIsupposeyoureallythinkwearegoingtohangwithinadayortwo."
　　"Ithoughtitnotmanyminutesago,forsothethingwasdecidedandproclaimed."
　　"Ah,thenyou'vechangedyourmind,isthatit?"