"Wereyouactuallygoingyondertotellonthem?"
　　Hedidn'tquiteknowhowtotakethat;buthesaid,hesitatingly:
　　"Ye-s."
　　"ThenIthinkyouareadamnedscoundrel!"
　　ItmadehimasgladasifIhadcalledhimanangel.
　　"Saythegoodwordsagain,brother!forsurelyyemeanthatyewouldnotbetraymeanIfailedofmyduty."
　　"Duty?Thereisnodutyinthematter,exceptthedutytokeepstillandletthosemengetaway.They'vedonearighteousdeed."
　　Helookedpleased;pleased,andtouchedwithapprehensionatthesametime.Helookedupanddowntheroadtoseethatnoonewascoming,andthensaidinacautiousvoice:
　　"Fromwhatlandcomeyou,brother,thatyouspeaksuchperilouswords,andseemnottobeafraid?"
　　"Theyarenotperilouswordswhenspokentooneofmyowncaste,Itakeit.YouwouldnottellanybodyIsaidthem?"
　　"I?Iwouldbedrawnasunderbywildhorsesfirst."
　　"Well,then,letmesaymysay.Ihavenofearsofyourrepeatingit.
　　Ithinkdevil'sworkhasbeendonelastnightuponthoseinnocentpoorpeople.Thatoldbarongotonlywhathedeserved.IfIhadmyway.allhiskindshouldhavethesameluck."
　　Fearanddepressionvanishedfromtheman'smanner,andgratefulnessandabraveanimationtooktheirplace:
　　"Eventhoughyoubeaspy,andyourwordsatrapformyundoing,yetaretheysuchrefreshmentthattohearthemagainandothersliketothem,Iwouldgotothegallowshappy,ashavinghadonegoodfeastatleastinastarvedlife.AndIwillsaymysaynow,andyemayreportitifyebesominded.Ihelpedtohangmyneighborsforthatitwereperiltomyownlifetoshowlackofzealinthemaster'scause;theothershelpedfornoneotherreason.Allrejoicetodaythatheisdead,butalldogoaboutseeminglysorrowing,andsheddingthehypocrite'stear,forinthatliessafety.Ihavesaidthewords,Ihavesaidthewords!theonlyonesthathaveevertastedgoodinmymouth,andtherewardofthattasteissufficient.Leadon,anyewill,beiteventothescaffold,forIamready."
　　Thereitwas,yousee.Amanisaman,atbottom.Wholeagesofabuseandoppressioncannotcrushthemanhoodclearoutofhim.Whoeverthinksitamistakeishimselfmistaken.Yes,thereisplentygoodenoughmaterialforarepublicinthemostdegradedpeoplethateverexisted——eventheRussians;plentyofmanhoodinthem——evenintheGermans——ifonecouldbutforceitoutofitstimidandsuspiciousprivacy,tooverthrowandtrampleinthemudanythronethateverwassetupandanynobilitythateversupportedit.Weshouldseecertainthingsyet,letushopeandbelieve.
　　First,amodifiedmonarchy,tillArthur'sdaysweredone,thenthedestructionofthethrone,nobilityabolished,everymemberofitboundouttosomeusefultrade,universalsuffrageinstituted,andthewholegovernmentplacedinthehandsofthemenandwomenofthenationtheretoremain.Yes,therewasnooccasiontogiveupmydreamyetawhile.
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter31Chapter31-MarcoWEstrolledalonginasufficientlyindolentfashionnow,andtalked.WemustdisposeofabouttheamountoftimeitoughttotaketogotothelittlehamletofAbblasoureandputjusticeonthetrackofthosemurderersandgetbackhomeagain.AndmeantimeIhadanauxiliaryinterestwhichhadneverpaledyet,neverlostitsnoveltyformesinceIhadbeeninArthur'skingdom:thebehavior——bornofniceandexactsubdivisionsofcaste——ofchancepassers-bytowardeachother.Towardtheshavenmonkwhotrudgedalongwithhiscowltiltedbackandthesweatwashingdownhisfatjowls,thecoal-burnerwasdeeplyreverent;tothegentlemanhewasabject;withthesmallfarmerandthefreemechanichewascordialandgossipy;andwhenaslavepassedbywithacountenancerespectfullylowered,thischap'snosewasintheair——hecouldn'tevenseehim.Well,therearetimeswhenonewouldliketohangthewholehumanraceandfinishthefarce.
　　Presentlywestruckanincident.Asmallmobofhalf-nakedboysandgirlscametearingoutofthewoods,scaredandshrieking.Theeldestamongthemwerenotmorethantwelveorfourteenyearsold.Theyimploredhelp,buttheyweresobesidethemselvesthatwecouldn'tmakeoutwhatthematterwas.However,weplungedintothewood,theyskurryinginthelead,andthetroublewasquicklyrevealed:theyhadhangedalittlefellowwithabarkrope,andhewaskickingandstruggling,intheprocessofchokingtodeath.Werescuedhim,andfetchedhimaround.Itwassomemorehumannature;theadmiringlittlefolkimitatingtheirelders;theywereplayingmob,andhadachievedasuccesswhichpromisedtobeagooddealmoreseriousthantheyhadbargainedfor.
　　Itwasnotadullexcursionforme.Imanagedtoputinthetimeverywell.Imadevariousacquaintanceships,andinmyqualityofstrangerwasabletoaskasmanyquestionsasIwantedto.Athingwhichnaturallyinterestedme,asastatesman,wasthematterofwages.IpickedupwhatIcouldunderthatheadduringtheafternoon.Amanwhohasn'thadmuchexperience,anddoesn'tthink,isapttomeasureanation'sprosperityorlackofprosperitybythemeresizeoftheprevailingwages;ifthewagesbehigh,thenationisprosperous;iflow,itisn't.Whichisanerror.Itisn'twhatsumyouget,it'showmuchyoucanbuywithit,that'stheimportantthing;andit'sthatthattellswhetheryourwagesarehighinfactoronlyhighinname.Icouldrememberhowitwasinthetimeofourgreatcivilwarinthenineteenthcentury.IntheNorthacarpentergotthreedollarsaday,goldvaluation;intheSouthhegotfifty——payableinConfederateshinplastersworthadollarabushel.IntheNorthasuitofoverallscostthreedollars——aday'swages;intheSouthitcostseventyfive——whichwastwodays'
　　wages.Otherthingswereinproportion.Consequently,wagesweretwiceashighintheNorthastheywereintheSouth,becausetheonewagehadthatmuchmorepurchasingpowerthantheotherhad.
　　Yes,Imadevariousacquaintancesinthehamletandathingthatgratifiedmeagooddealwastofindournewcoinsincirculation——lotsofmilrays,lotsofmills,lotsofcents,agoodmanynickels,andsomesilver;allthisamongtheartisansandcommonaltygenerally;yes,andevensomegold——butthatwasatthebank,thatistosay,thegoldsmith's.IdroppedintherewhileMarco,thesonofMarco,washagglingwithashopkeeperoveraquarterofapoundofsalt,andaskedforchangeforatwenty-dollargoldpiece.Theyfurnishedit——thatis,aftertheyhadchewedthepiece,andrungitonthecounter,andtriedacidonit,andaskedmewhereI
　　gotit,andwhoIwas,andwhereIwasfrom,andwhereIwasgoingto,andwhenIexpectedtogetthere,andperhapsacoupleofhundredmorequestions;andwhentheygotaground,Iwentrightonandfurnishedthemalotofinformationvoluntarily;toldthemIownedadog,andhisnamewasWatch,andmyfirstwifewasaFreeWillBaptist,andhergrandfatherwasaProhibitionist,andIusedtoknowamanwhohadtwothumbsoneachhandandawartontheinsideofhisupperlip,anddiedinthehopeofagloriousresurrection,andsoon,andsoon,andsoon,tilleventhathungryvillagequestionerbegantolooksatisfied,andalsoashadeputout;buthehadtorespectamanofmyfinancialstrength,andsohedidn'tgivemeanylip,butInoticedhetookitoutofhisunderlings,whichwasaperfectlynaturalthingtodo.Yes,theychangedmytwenty,butI
　　judgeditstrainedthebankalittle,whichwasathingtobeexpected,foritwasthesameaswalkingintoapaltryvillagestoreinthenineteenthcenturyandrequiringthebossofittochangeatwothousand-dollarbillforyouallofasudden.Hecoulddoit,maybe;butatthesametimehewouldwonderhowasmallfarmerhappenedtobecarryingsomuchmoneyaroundinhispocket;whichwasprobablythisgoldsmith'sthought,too;forhefollowedmetothedoorandstoodtheregazingaftermewithreverentadmiration.
　　Ournewmoneywasnotonlyhandsomelycirculating,butitslanguagewasalreadygliblyinuse;thatistosay,peoplehaddroppedthenamesoftheformermoneys,andspokeofthingsasbeingworthsomanydollarsorcentsormillsormilraysnow.Itwasverygratifying.Wewereprogressing,thatwassure.
　　Igottoknowseveralmastermechanics,butaboutthemostinterestingfellowamongthemwastheblacksmith,Dowley.Hewasalivemanandabrisktalker,andhadtwojourneymenandthreeapprentices,andwasdoingaragingbusiness.Infact,hewasgettingrich,handoverfist,andwasvastlyrespected.Marcowasveryproudofhavingsuchamanforafriend.Hehadtakenmethereostensiblytoletmeseethebigestablishmentwhichboughtsomuchofhischarcoal,butreallytoletmeseewhateasyandalmostfamiliartermshewasonwiththisgreatman.DowleyandIfraternizedatonce;Ihadhadjustsuchpickedmen,splendidfellows,undermeintheColtArmsFactory.Iwasboundtoseemoreofhim,soIinvitedhimtocomeouttoMarco'sSunday,anddinewithus.Marcowasappalled,andheldhisbreath;andwhenthegrandeeaccepted,hewassogratefulthathealmostforgottobeastonishedatthecondescension.
　　Marco'sjoywasexuberant——butonlyforamoment;thenhegrewthoughtful,thensad;andwhenheheardmetellDowleyIshouldhaveDickon,thebossmason,andSmug,thebosswheelwright,outthere,too,thecoal-dustonhisfaceturnedtochalk,andhelosthisgrip.ButIknewwhatwasthematterwithhim;itwastheexpense.Hesawruinbeforehim;hejudgedthathisfinancialdayswerenumbered.However,onourwaytoinvitetheothers,Isaid:
　　"Youmustallowmetohavethesefriendscome;andyoumustalsoallowmetopaythecosts."
　　Hisfacecleared,andhesaidwithspirit:
　　"Butnotallofit,notallofit.Yecannotwellbearaburdenliketothisalone."
　　Istoppedhim,andsaid:
　　"Nowlet'sunderstandeachotheronthespot,oldfriend.Iamonlyafarmbailiff,itistrue;butIamnotpoor,nevertheless.Ihavebeenveryfortunatethisyear——youwouldbeastonishedtoknowhowIhavethriven.ItellyouthehonesttruthwhenIsayIcouldsquanderawayasmanyasadozenfeastslikethisandnevercareTHATfortheexpense!"
　　andIsnappedmyfingers.IcouldseemyselfriseafootatatimeinMarco'sestimation,andwhenIfetchedoutthoselastwordsIwasbecomeaverytowerforstyleandaltitude."Soyousee,youmustletmehavemyway.
　　Youcan'tcontributeacenttothisorgy,that'sSETTLED."
　　"It'sgrandandgoodofyou——"
　　"No,itisn't.You'veopenedyourhousetoJonesandmeinthemostgenerousway;Joneswasremarkinguponitto-day,justbeforeyoucamebackfromthevillage;foralthoughhewouldn'tbelikelytosaysuchathingtoyou——becauseJonesisn'tatalker,andisdiffidentinsociety——hehasagoodheartandagrateful,andknowshowtoappreciateitwhenheiswelltreated;yes,youandyourwifehavebeenveryhospitabletowardus——"
　　"Ah,brother,'tisnothing——SUCHhospitality!"
　　"ButitISsomething;thebestamanhas,freelygiven,isalwayssomething,andisasgoodasaprincecando,andranksrightalongbesideit——forevenaprincecanbutdohisbest.Andsowe'llshoparoundandgetupthislayoutnow,anddon'tyouworryabouttheexpense.I'moneoftheworstspendthriftsthateverwasborn.Why,doyouknow,sometimesinasingleweekIspend——butnevermindaboutthat——you'dneverbelieveitanyway."
　　Andsowewentgaddingalong,droppinginhereandthere,pricingthings,andgossipingwiththeshopkeepersabouttheriot,andnowandthenrunningacrosspatheticremindersofit,inthepersonsofshunnedandtearfulandhouselessremnantsoffamilieswhosehomeshadbeentakenfromthemandtheirparentsbutcheredorhanged.TheraimentofMarcoandhiswifewasofcoarsetow-linenandlinsey-woolseyrespectively,andresembledtownshipmaps,itbeingmadeupprettyexclusivelyofpatcheswhichhadbeenadded,townshipbytownship,inthecourseoffiveorsixyears,untilhardlyahand's-breadthoftheoriginalgarmentswassurvivingandpresent.
　　NowIwantedtofitthesepeopleoutwithnewsuits,onaccountofthatswellcompany,andIdidn'tknowjusthowtogetatit——withdelicacy,untilatlastitstruckmethatasIhadalreadybeenliberalininventingwordygratitudefortheking,itwouldbejustthethingtobackitupwithevidenceofasubstantialsort;soIsaid:
　　"AndMarco,there'sanotherthingwhichyoumustpermit——outofkindnessforJones——becauseyouwouldn'twanttooffendhim.Hewasveryanxioustotestifyhisappreciationinsomeway,butheissodiffidenthecouldn'tventureithimself,andsohebeggedmetobuysomelittlethingsandgivethemtoyouandDamePhyllisandlethimpayforthemwithoutyoureverknowingtheycamefromhim——youknowhowadelicatepersonfeelsaboutthatsortofthing——andsoIsaidIwould,andwewouldkeepmum.Well,hisideawas,anewoutfitofclothesforyouboth——"
　　"Oh,itiswastefulness!Itmaynotbe,brother,itmaynotbe.Considerthevastnessofthesum——"
　　"Hangthevastnessofthesum!Trytokeepquietforamoment,andseehowitwouldseem;abodycan'tgetinawordedgeways,youtalksomuch.
　　Yououghttocurethat,Marco;itisn'tgoodform,youknow,anditwillgrowonyouifyoudon'tcheckit.Yes,we'llstepinherenowandpricethisman'sstuff——anddon'tforgettoremembertonotletontoJonesthatyouknowhehadanythingtodowithit.Youcan'tthinkhowcuriouslysensitiveandproudheis.He'safarmer——prettyfairlywell-to-dofarmer——anI'mhisbailiff;BUT——theimaginationofthatman!Why,sometimeswhenheforgetshimselfandgetstoblowingoff,you'dthinkhewasoneoftheswellsoftheearth;andyoumightlistentohimahundredyearsandnevertakehimforafarmer——especiallyifhetalkedagriculture.
　　HeTHINKShe'saSheolofafarmer;thinkshe'soldGraybackfromWayback;
　　butbetweenyouandmeprivatelyhedon'tknowasmuchaboutfarmingashedoesaboutrunningakingdom——still,whateverhetalksabout,youwanttodropyourunderjawandlisten,thesameasifyouhadneverheardsuchincrediblewisdominallyourlifebefore,andwereafraidyoumightdiebeforeyougotenoughofit.ThatwillpleaseJones."
　　IttickledMarcotothemarrowtohearaboutsuchanoddcharacter;
　　butitalsopreparedhimforaccidents;andinmyexperiencewhenyoutravelwithakingwhoislettingontobesomethingelseandcan'trememberitmorethanabouthalfthetime,youcan'ttaketoomanyprecautions.
　　Thiswasthebeststorewehadcomeacrossyet;ithadeverythinginit,insmallquantities,fromanvilsanddrygoodsallthewaydowntofishandpinchbeckjewelry.IconcludedIwouldbunchmywholeinvoicerighthere,andnotgopricingaroundanymore.SoIgotridofMarco,bysendinghimofftoinvitethemasonandthewheelwright,whichleftthefieldfreetome.ForInevercaretodoathinginaquietway;it'sgottobetheatricalorIdon'ttakeanyinterestinit.Ishowedupmoneyenough,inacarelessway,tocorraltheshopkeeper'srespect,andthenIwrotedownalistofthethingsIwanted,andhandedittohimtoseeifhecouldreadit.Hecould,andwasproudtoshowthathecould.Hesaidhehadbeeneducatedbyapriest,andcouldbothreadandwrite.Heranitthrough,andremarkedwithsatisfactionthatitwasaprettyheavybill.Well,andsoitwas,foralittleconcernlikethat.Iwasnotonlyprovidingaswelldinner,butsomeoddsandendsofextras.IorderedthatthethingsbecartedoutanddeliveredatthedwellingofMarco,thesonofMarco,bySaturdayevening,andsendmethebillatdinner-timeSunday.HesaidIcoulddependuponhispromptnessandexactitude,itwastheruleofthehouse.Healsoobservedthathewouldthrowinacoupleofmiller-gunsfortheMarcosgratis——
　　thateverybodywasusingthemnow.Hehadamightyopinionofthatcleverdevice.Isaid:
　　"Andpleasefillthemuptothemiddlemark,too;andaddthattothebill."
　　Hewould,withpleasure.Hefilledthem,andItookthemwithme.I
　　couldn'tventuretotellhimthatthemiller-gunwasalittleinventionofmyown,andthatIhadofficiallyorderedthateveryshopkeeperinthekingdomkeepthemonhandandsellthematgovernmentprice——whichwasthemeresttrifle,andtheshopkeepergotthat,notthegovernment.Wefurnishedthemfornothing.
　　Thekinghadhardlymisseduswhenwegotbackatnightfall.HehadearlydroppedagainintohisdreamofagrandinvasionofGaulwiththewholestrengthofhiskingdomathisback,andtheafternoonhadslippedawaywithouthisevercomingtohimselfagain.
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter32Chapter32-Dowley'sHumiliationWELL,whenthatcargoarrivedtowardsunset,Saturdayafternoon,IhadmyhandsfulltokeeptheMarcosfromfainting.TheyweresureJonesandIwereruinedpasthelp,andtheyblamedthemselvesasaccessoriestothisbankruptcy.Yousee,inadditiontothedinner-materials,whichcalledforasufficientlyroundsum,Ihadboughtalotofextrasforthefuturecomfortofthefamily:forinstance,abiglotofwheat,adelicacyasraretothetablesoftheirclassaswasice-creamtoahermit's;alsoasizeabledealdinner-table;alsotwoentirepoundsofsalt,whichwasanotherpieceofextravaganceinthosepeople'seyes;alsocrockery,stools,theclothes,asmallcaskofbeer,andsoon.IinstructedtheMarcostokeepquietaboutthissumptuousness,soastogivemeachancetosurprisetheguestsandshowoffalittle.Concerningthenewclothes,thesimplecouplewerelikechildren;theywereupanddown,allnight,toseeifitwasn'tnearlydaylight,sothattheycouldputthemon,andtheywereintothematlastasmuchasanhourbeforedawnwasdue.Thentheirpleasure——nottosaydelirium——wassofreshandnovelandinspiringthatthesightofitpaidmewellfortheinterruptionswhichmysleephadsuffered.
　　Thekinghadsleptjustasusual——likethedead.TheMarcoscouldnotthankhimfortheirclothes,thatbeingforbidden;buttheytriedeverywaytheycouldthinkoftomakehimseehowgratefultheywere.Whichallwentfornothing:hedidn'tnoticeanychange.
　　ItturnedouttobeoneofthoserichandrarefalldayswhichisjustaJunedaytoneddowntoadegreewhereitisheaventobeoutofdoors.
　　Towardnoontheguestsarrived,andweassembledunderagreattreeandweresoonassociableasoldacquaintances.Eventheking'sreservemeltedalittle,thoughitwassomelittletroubletohimtoadjusthimselftothenameofJonesalongatfirst.Ihadaskedhimtotrytonotforgetthathewasafarmer;butIhadalsoconsidereditprudenttoaskhimtoletthethingstandatthat,andnotelaborateitany.Becausehewasjustthekindofpersonyoucoulddependontospoilalittlethinglikethatifyoudidn'twarnhim,histonguewassohandy,andhisspiritsowilling,andhisinformationsouncertain.
　　Dowleywasinfinefeather,andIearlygothimstarted,andthenadroitlyworkedhimaroundontohisownhistoryforatextandhimselfforahero,andthenitwasgoodtositthereandhearhimhum.Self-mademan,youknow.Theyknowhowtotalk.Theydodeservemorecreditthananyotherbreedofmen,yes,thatistrue;andtheyareamongtheveryfirsttofinditout,too.Hetoldhowhehadbegunlifeanorphanladwithoutmoneyandwithoutfriendsabletohelphim;howhehadlivedastheslavesofthemeanestmasterlived;howhisday'sworkwasfromsixteentoeighteenhourslong,andyieldedhimonlyenoughblackbreadtokeephiminahalf-fedcondition;howhisfaithfulendeavorsfinallyattractedtheattentionofagoodblacksmith,whocamenearknockinghimdeadwithkindnessbysuddenlyoffering,whenhewastotallyunprepared,totakehimashisboundapprenticefornineyearsandgivehimboardandclothesandteachhimthetrade——
　　or"mystery"asDowleycalledit.Thatwashisfirstgreatrise,hisfirstgorgeousstrokeoffortune;andyousawthathecouldn'tyetspeakofitwithoutasortofeloquentwonderanddelightthatsuchagildedpromotionshouldhavefallentothelotofacommonhumanbeing.Hegotnonewclothingduringhisapprenticeship,butonhisgraduationdayhismastertrickedhimoutinspang-newtow-linensandmadehimfeelunspeakablyrichandfine.
　　"Iremembermeofthatday!"thewheelwrightsangout,withenthusiasm.
　　"AndIlikewise!"criedthemason."Iwouldnotbelievetheywerethineown;infaithIcouldnot."
　　"Norother!"shoutedDowley,withsparklingeyes."Iwasliketolosemycharacter,theneighborswendingIhadmayhapbeenstealing.Itwasagreatday,agreatday;oneforgettethnotdayslikethat."
　　Yes,andhismasterwasafineman,andprosperous,andalwayshadagreatfeastofmeattwiceintheyear,andwithitwhitebread,truewheatenbread;infact,livedlikealord,sotospeak.AndintimeDowleysucceededtothebusinessandmarriedthedaughter.
　　"Andnowconsiderwhatiscometopass,"saidhe,impressively."Twotimesineverymonththereisfreshmeatuponmytable."Hemadeapausehere,toletthatfactsinkhome,thenadded——"andeighttimessaltmeat."
　　"Itiseventrue,"saidthewheelwright,withbatedbreath.
　　"Iknowitofmineownknowledge,"saidthemason,inthesamereverentfashion.
　　"OnmytableappearethwhitebreadeverySundayintheyear,"addedthemastersmith,withsolemnity."Ileaveittoyourownconsciences,friends,ifthisisnotalsotrue?"
　　"Bymyhead,yes,"criedthemason.
　　"Icantestifyit——andIdo,"saidthewheelwright.
　　"Andastofurniture,yeshallsayyourselveswhatmineequipmentis.
　　"Hewavedhishandinfinegestureofgrantingfrankandunhamperedfreedomofspeech,andadded:"Speakasyearemoved;speakasyewouldspeak;
　　anIwerenothere."
　　"Yehavefivestools,andofthesweetestworkmanshipatthat,albeityourfamilyisbutthree,"saidthewheelwright,withdeeprespect.
　　"Andsixwoodengoblets,andsixplattersofwoodandtwoofpewtertocatanddrinkfromwithal,"saidthemason,impressively."AndIsayitasknowingGodismyjudge,andwetarrynotherealway,butmustansweratthelastdayforthethingssaidinthebody,betheyfalseorbetheysooth."
　　"NowyeknowwhatmannerofmanIam,brotherJones,"saidthesmith,withafineandfriendlycondescension,"anddoubtlessyewouldlooktofindmeamanjealousofhisdueofrespectandbutsparingofoutgotostrangerstilltheirratingandqualitybeassured,buttroubleyourselfnot,asconcerningthat;wityewellyeshallfindmeamanthatregardethnotthesemattersbutiswillingtoreceiveanyheashisfellowandequalthatcarrietharightheartinhisbody,behisworldlyestatehowsoevermodest.Andintokenofit,hereismyhand;andIsaywithmyownmouthweareequals——equals"——andhesmiledaroundonthecompanywiththesatisfactionofagodwhoisdoingthehandsomeandgraciousthingandisquitewellawareofit.
　　Thekingtookthehandwithapoorlydisguisedreluctance,andletgoofitaswillinglyasaladyletsgoofafish;allofwhichhadagoodeffect,foritwasmistakenforanembarrassmentnaturaltoonewhowasbeingcalleduponbygreatness.
　　Thedamebroughtoutthetablenow,andsetitunderthetree.Itcausedavisiblestirofsurprise,itbeingbrandnewandasumptuousarticleofdeal.Butthesurpriserosehigherstillwhenthedame,withabodyoozingeasyindifferenceateverypore,buteyesthatgaveitallawaybyabsolutelyflamingwithvanity,slowlyunfoldedanactualsimon-puretableclothandspreadit.Thatwasanotchaboveeventheblacksmith'sdomesticgrandeurs,andithithimhard;youcouldseeit.ButMarcowasinParadise;youcouldseethat,too.Thenthedamebroughttwofinenewstools——whew!thatwasasensation;itwasvisibleintheeyesofeveryguest.Thenshebroughttwomore——ascalmlyasshecould.Sensationagain——withawedmurmurs.Againshebroughttwo——walkingonair,shewassoproud.Theguestswerepetrified,andthemasonmuttered:
　　"Thereisthataboutearthlypompswhichdothevermovetoreverence."
　　Asthedameturnedaway,Marcocouldn'thelpslappingontheclimaxwhilethethingwashot;sohesaidwithwhatwasmeantforalanguidcomposurebutwasapoorimitationofit:
　　"Thesesuffice;leavetherest."
　　Sothereweremoreyet!Itwasafineeffect.Icouldn'thaveplayedthehandbettermyself.
　　Fromthisout,themadampiledupthesurpriseswitharushthatfiredthegeneralastonishmentuptoahundredandfiftyintheshade,andatthesametimeparalyzedexpressionofitdowntogasped"Oh's"and"Ah's,"
　　andmuteupliftingsofhandsandeyes.Shefetchedcrockery——new,andplentyofit;newwoodengobletsandothertablefurniture;andbeer,fish,chicken,agoose,eggs,roastbeef,roastmutton,aham,asmallroastpig,andawealthofgenuinewhitewheatenbread.Takeitbyandlarge,thatspreadlaideverythingfarandawayintheshadethateverthatcrowdhadseenbefore.Andwhiletheysattherejustsimplystupefiedwithwonderandawe,Isortofwavedmyhandasifbyaccident,andthestorekeeper'ssonemergedfromspaceandsaidhehadcometocollect.
　　"That'sallright,"Isaid,indifferently."Whatistheamount?giveustheitems."
　　Thenhereadoffthisbill,whilethosethreeamazedmenlistened,andserenewavesofsatisfactionrolledovermysoulandalternatewavesofterrorandadmirationsurgedoverMarco's:2poundssalt200
　　8dozenpintsbeer,inthewood800
　　3bushelswheat2,700
　　2poundsfish100
　　3hens400
　　1goose400
　　3dozeneggs150
　　1roastofbeef450
　　1roastofmutton400
　　1ham800
　　1suckingpig500
　　2crockerydinnersets6,000
　　2men'ssuitsandunderwear2,800
　　1stuffand1linsey-woolseygownandunderwear1,600
　　8woodengoblets800
　　Varioustablefurniture10,000
　　1dealtable3,000
　　8stools4,000
　　2millerguns,loaded3,000Heceased.Therewasapaleandawfulsilence.Notalimbstirred.Notanostrilbetrayedthepassageofbreath.
　　"Isthatall?"Iasked,inavoiceofthemostperfectcalmness.
　　"All,fairsir,savethatcertainmattersoflightmomentareplacedtogetherunderaheadhightsundries.Ifitwouldlikeyou,Iwillsepa——"
　　"Itisofnoconsequence,"Isaid,accompanyingthewordswithagestureofthemostutterindifference;"givemethegrandtotal,please."
　　Theclerkleanedagainstthetreetostayhimself,andsaid:
　　"Thirty-ninethousandonehundredandfiftymilrays!"
　　Thewheelwrightfelloffhisstool,theothersgrabbedthetabletosavethemselves,andtherewasadeepandgeneralejaculationof:
　　"Godbewithusinthedayofdisaster!"
　　Theclerkhastenedtosay:
　　"Myfatherchargethmetosayhecannothonorablyrequireyoutopayitallatthistime,andthereforeonlyprayethyou——"
　　Ipaidnomoreheedthanifitweretheidlebreeze,but,withanairofindifferenceamountingalmosttoweariness,gotoutmymoneyandtossedfourdollarsontothetable.Ah,youshouldhaveseenthemstare!
　　Theclerkwasastonishedandcharmed.Heaskedmetoretainoneofthedollarsassecurity,untilhecouldgototownand——Iinterrupted:
　　"What,andfetchbackninecents?Nonsense!Takethewhole.Keepthechange."
　　Therewasanamazedmurmurtothiseffect:
　　"VerilythisbeingisMADEofmoney!Hethrowethitawayevenasifitweredirt."
　　Theblacksmithwasacrushedman.
　　Theclerktookhismoneyandreeledawaydrunkwithfortune.IsaidtoMarcoandhiswife:
　　"Goodfolk,hereisalittletrifleforyou"——handingthemiller-gunsasifitwereamatterofnoconsequence,thougheachofthemcontainedfifteencentsinsolidcash;andwhilethepoorcreatureswenttopieceswithastonishmentandgratitude,Iturnedtotheothersandsaidascalmlyasonewouldaskthetimeofday:
　　"Well,ifweareallready,Ijudgethedinneris.Come,fallto."
　　Ah,well,itwasimmense;yes,itwasadaisy.Idon'tknowthatIeverputasituationtogetherbetter,orgothappierspectaculareffectsoutofthematerialsavailable.Theblacksmith——well,hewassimplymashed.
　　Land!Iwouldn'thavefeltwhatthatmanwasfeeling,foranythingintheworld.Herehehadbeenblowingandbraggingabouthisgrandmeat-feasttwiceayear,andhisfreshmeattwiceamonth,andhissaltmeattwiceaweek,andhiswhitebreadeverySundaytheyearround——allforafamilyofthree;theentirecostfortheyearnotabove69.2.6sixty-ninecents,twomillsandsixmilrays,andallofasuddenherecomesalongamanwhoslashesoutnearlyfourdollarsonasingleblow-out;andnotonlythat,butactsasifitmadehimtiredtohandlesuchsmallsums.Yes,Dowleywasagooddealwilted,andshrunk-upandcollapsed;hehadtheaspectofabladder-balloonthat'sbeensteppedonbyacow.
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter33Chapter33-SixthCenturyPoliticalEconomyHOWEVER,Imadeadeadsetathim,andbeforethefirstthirdofthedinnerwasreached,Ihadhimhappyagain.Itwaseasytodo——inacountryofranksandcastes.Yousee,inacountrywheretheyhaveranksandcastes,amanisn'teveraman,heisonlypartofaman,hecan'tevergethisfullgrowth.Youproveyoursuperiorityoverhiminstation,orrank,orfortune,andthat'stheendofit——heknucklesdown.Youcan'tinsulthimafterthat.No,Idon'tmeanquitethat;ofcourseyouCANinsulthim,Ionlymeanit'sdifficult;andso,unlessyou'vegotalotofuselesstimeonyourhandsitdoesn'tpaytotry.Ihadthesmith'sreverencenow,becauseIwasapparentlyimmenselyprosperousandrich;IcouldhavehadhisadorationifIhadhadsomelittlegimcracktitleofnobility.Andnotonlyhis,butanycommoner'sintheland,thoughhewerethemightiestproductionofalltheages,inintellect,worth,andcharacter,andIbankruptinallthree.Thiswastoremainso,aslongasEnglandshouldexistintheearth.Withthespiritofprophecyuponme,IcouldlookintothefutureandseehererectstatuesandmonumentstoherunspeakableGeorgesandotherroyalandnobleclothes-horses,andleaveunhonoredthecreatorsofthisworld——afterGod——Gutenburg,Watt,Arkwright,Whitney,Morse,Stephenson,Bell.
　　Thekinggothiscargoaboard,andthen,thetalknotturninguponbattle,conquest,oriron-cladduel,hedulleddowntodrowsinessandwentofftotakeanap.Mrs.Marcoclearedthetable,placedthebeerkeghandy,andwentawaytoeatherdinnerofleavingsinhumbleprivacy,andtherestofussoondriftedintomattersnearanddeartotheheartsofoursort——businessandwages,ofcourse.Atafirstglance,thingsappearedtobeexceedingprosperousinthislittletributarykingdom——whoselordwasKingBagdemagus——ascomparedwiththestateofthingsinmyownregion.
　　Theyhadthe"protection"systeminfullforcehere,whereaswewereworkingalongdowntowardfree-trade,byeasystages,andwerenowabouthalfway.
　　Beforelong,DowleyandIweredoingallthetalking,theothershungrilylistening.Dowleywarmedtohiswork,snuffedanadvantageintheair,andbegantoputquestionswhichheconsideredprettyawkwardonesforme,andtheydidhavesomethingofthatlook:
　　"Inyourcountry,brother,whatisthewageofamasterbailiff,masterhind,carter,shepherd,swineherd?"
　　"Twenty-fivemilraysaday;thatistosay,aquarterofacent.
　　Thesmith'sfacebeamedwithjoy.Hesaid:
　　"Withustheyareallowedthedoubleofit!Andwhatmayamechanicget——carpenter,dauber,mason,painter,blacksmith,wheelwright,andthelike?"
　　"Ontheaverage,fiftymilrays;halfacentaday."
　　"Ho-ho!Withustheyareallowedahundred!Withusanygoodmechanicisallowedacentaday!Icountoutthetailor,butnottheothers——
　　theyareallallowedacentaday,andindrivingtimestheygetmore——
　　yes,uptoahundredandtenandevenfifteenmilraysaday.I'vepaidahundredandfifteenmyself,withintheweek.'Rahforprotection——toSheolwithfree-trade!"
　　Andhisfaceshoneuponthecompanylikeasunburst.ButIdidn'tscareatall.Iriggedupmypile-driver,andallowedmyselffifteenminutestodrivehimintotheearth——drivehimALLin——drivehimintillnoteventhecurveofhisskullshouldshowaboveground.HereisthewayI
　　startedinonhim.Iasked:
　　"Whatdoyoupayapoundforsalt?"
　　"Ahundredmilrays."
　　"Wepayforty.Whatdoyoupayforbeefandmutton——whenyoubuyit?"
　　Thatwasaneathit;itmadethecolorcome.
　　"Itvariethsomewhat,butnotmuch;onemaysay75milraysthepound."
　　"WEpay33.Whatdoyoupayforeggs?"
　　"Fiftymilraysthedozen."