Itwasasoft,reposefulsummerlandscape,aslovelyasadream,andaslonesomeasSunday.Theairwasfullofthesmellofflowers,andthebuzzingofinsects,andthetwitteringofbirds,andtherewerenopeople,nowagons,therewasnostiroflife,nothinggoingon.Theroadwasmainlyawindingpathwithhoof-printsinit,andnowandthenafainttraceofwheelsoneithersideinthegrass——wheelsthatapparentlyhadatireasbroadasone'shand.
　　Presentlyafairslipofagirl,abouttenyearsold,withacataractofgoldenhairstreamingdownoverhershoulders,camealong.Aroundherheadsheworeahoopofflame-redpoppies.ItwasassweetanoutfitaseverIsaw,whattherewasofit.Shewalkedindolentlyalong,withamindatrest,itspeacereflectedinherinnocentface.Thecircusmanpaidnoattentiontoher;didn'tevenseemtoseeher.Andshe——shewasnomorestartledathisfantasticmake-upthanifshewasusedtohislikeeverydayofherlife.Shewasgoingbyasindifferentlyasshemighthavegonebyacoupleofcows;butwhenshehappenedtonoticeme,THENtherewasachange!Upwentherhands,andshewasturnedtostone;hermouthdroppedopen,hereyesstaredwideandtimorously,shewasthepictureofastonishedcuriositytouchedwithfear.Andthereshestoodgazing,inasortofstupefiedfascination,tillweturnedacornerofthewoodandwerelosttoherview.Thatsheshouldbestartledatmeinsteadofattheotherman,wastoomanyforme;Icouldn'tmakeheadortailofit.Andthatsheshouldseemtoconsidermeaspectacle,andtotallyoverlookherownmeritsinthatrespect,wasanotherpuzzlingthing,andadisplayofmagnanimity,too,thatwassurprisinginonesoyoung.Therewasfoodforthoughthere.Imovedalongasoneinadream.
　　Asweapproachedthetown,signsoflifebegantoappear.Atintervalswepassedawretchedcabin,withathatchedroof,andaboutitsmallfieldsandgardenpatchesinanindifferentstateofcultivation.Therewerepeople,too;brawnymen,withlong,coarse,uncombedhairthathungdownovertheirfacesandmadethemlooklikeanimals.Theyandthewomen,asarule,woreacoarsetow-linenrobethatcamewellbelowtheknee,andarudesortofsandal,andmanyworeanironcollar.Thesmallboysandgirlswerealwaysnaked;butnobodyseemedtoknowit.Allofthesepeoplestaredatme,talkedaboutme,ranintothehutsandfetchedouttheirfamiliestogapeatme;butnobodyevernoticedthatotherfellow,excepttomakehimhumblesalutationandgetnoresponsefortheirpains.
　　Inthetownweresomesubstantialwindowlesshousesofstonescatteredamongawildernessofthatchedcabins;thestreetsweremerecrookedalleys,andunpaved;troopsofdogsandnudechildrenplayedinthesunandmadelifeandnoise;hogsroamedandrootedcontentedlyabout,andoneofthemlayinareekingwallowinthemiddleofthemainthoroughfareandsuckledherfamily.Presentlytherewasadistantblareofmilitarymusic;itcamenearer,stillnearer,andsoonanoblecavalcadewoundintoview,gloriouswithplumedhelmetsandflashingmailandflauntingbannersandrichdoubletsandhorse-clothsandgildedspearheads;andthroughthemuckandswine,andnakedbrats,andjoyousdogs,andshabbyhuts,ittookitsgallantway,andinitswakewefollowed.
　　Followedthroughonewindingalleyandthenanother,——andclimbing,alwaysclimbing——tillatlastwegainedthebreezyheightwherethehugecastlestood.Therewasanexchangeofbugleblasts;thenaparleyfromthewalls,wheremen-at-arms,inhauberkandmorion,marchedbackandforthwithhalberdatshoulderunderflappingbannerswiththerudefigureofadragondisplayeduponthem;andthenthegreatgateswereflungopen,thedrawbridgewaslowered,andtheheadofthecavalcadesweptforwardunderthefrowningarches;andwe,following,soonfoundourselvesinagreatpavedcourt,withtowersandturretsstretchingupintotheblueaironallthefoursides;andallaboutus.thedismountwasgoingon,andmuchgreetingandceremony,andrunningtoandfro,andagaydisplayofmovingandinterminglingcolors,andanaltogetherpleasantstirandnoiseandconfusion.
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter2Chapter2-KingArthur'sCourtTHEmomentIgotachanceIslippedasideprivatelyandtouchedanancientcommonlookingmanontheshoulderandsaid,inaninsinuating,confidentialway:
　　"Friend,domeakindness.Doyoubelongtotheasylum,orareyoujustonavisitorsomethinglikethat?"
　　Helookedmeoverstupidly,andsaid:
　　"Marry,fairsir,meseemeth——"
　　"Thatwilldo,"Isaid;"Ireckonyouareapatient."
　　Imovedaway,cogitating,andatthesametimekeepinganeyeoutforanychancepassengerinhisrightmindthatmightcomealongandgivemesomelight.IjudgedIhadfoundone,presently;soIdrewhimasideandsaidinhisear:
　　"IfIcouldseetheheadkeeperaminute——onlyjustaminute——"
　　"Pritheedonotletme."
　　"LetyouWHAT?"
　　"HINDERme,then,ifthewordpleasetheebetter.Thenhewentontosayhewasanunder-cookandcouldnotstoptogossip,thoughhewouldlikeitanothertime;foritwouldcomforthisverylivertoknowwhereIgotmyclothes.Ashestartedawayhepointedandsaidyonderwasonewhowasidleenoughformypurpose,andwasseekingmebesides,nodoubt.
　　Thiswasanairyslimboyinshrimp-coloredtightsthatmadehimlooklikeaforkedcarrot,therestofhisgearwasbluesilkanddaintylacesandruffles;andhehadlongyellowcurls,andworeaplumedpinksatincaptiltedcomplacentlyoverhisear.Byhislook,hewasgood-natured;byhisgait,hewassatisfiedwithhimself.Hewasprettyenoughtoframe.
　　Hearrived,lookedmeoverwithasmilingandimpudentcuriosity;saidhehadcomeforme,andinformedmethathewasapage.
　　"Go'long,"Isaid;"youain'tmorethanaparagraph."
　　Itwasprettysevere,butIwasnettled.However,itneverphazedhim;
　　hedidn'tappeartoknowhewashurt.Hebegantotalkandlaugh,inhappy,thoughtless,boyishfashion,aswewalkedalong,andmadehimselfoldfriendswithmeatonce;askedmeallsortsofquestionsaboutmyselfandaboutmyclothes,butneverwaitedforananswer——alwayschatteredstraightahead,asifhedidn'tknowhehadaskedaquestionandwasn'texpectinganyreply,untilatlasthehappenedtomentionthathewasborninthebeginningoftheyear513.
　　Itmadethecoldchillscreepoverme!Istoppedandsaid,alittlefaintly:
　　"MaybeIdidn'thearyoujustright.Sayitagain——andsayitslow.
　　Whatyearwasit?"
　　"513."
　　"513!Youdon'tlookit!Come,myboy,Iamastrangerandfriendless;
　　behonestandhonorablewithme.Areyouinyourrightmind?"
　　Hesaidhewas.
　　"Aretheseotherpeopleintheirrightminds?"
　　Hesaidtheywere.
　　"Andthisisn'tanasylum?Imean,itisn'taplacewheretheycurecrazypeople?"
　　Hesaiditwasn't.
　　"Well,then,"Isaid,"eitherIamalunatic,orsomethingjustasawfulhashappened.Nowtellme,honestandtrue,whereamI?"
　　"INKINGARTHUR'SCOURT."
　　Iwaitedaminute,toletthatideashudderitswayhome,andthensaid:
　　"Andaccordingtoyournotions,whatyearisitnow?"
　　"528——nineteenthofJune."
　　Ifeltamournfulsinkingattheheart,andmuttered:"Ishallneverseemyfriendsagain——never,neveragain.Theywillnotbebornformorethanthirteenhundredyearsyet."
　　Iseemedtobelievetheboy,Ididn'tknowwhy.SOMETHINGinmeseemedtobelievehim——myconsciousness,asyoumaysay;butmyreasondidn't.
　　Myreasonstraightwaybegantoclamor;thatwasnatural.Ididn'tknowhowtogoaboutsatisfyingit,becauseIknewthatthetestimonyofmenwouldn'tserve——myreasonwouldsaytheywerelunatics,andthrowouttheirevidence.ButallofasuddenIstumbledontheverything,justbyluck.Iknewthattheonlytotaleclipseofthesuninthefirsthalfofthesixthcenturyoccurredonthe21stofJune,A.D.528,O.S.,andbeganat3minutesafter12noon.IalsoknewthatnototaleclipseofthesunwasdueinwhattoMEwasthepresentyear——i.e.,1879.So,ifIcouldkeepmyanxietyandcuriosityfromeatingtheheartoutofmeforforty-eighthours,Ishouldthenfindoutforcertainwhetherthisboywastellingmethetruthornot.
　　Wherefore,beingapracticalConnecticutman,Inowshovedthiswholeproblemclearoutofmymindtillitsappointeddayandhourshouldcome,inorderthatImightturnallmyattentiontothecircumstancesofthepresentmoment,andbealertandreadytomakethemostoutofthemthatcouldbemade.Onethingatatime,ismymotto——andjustplaythatthingforallitisworth,evenifit'sonlytwopairandajack.Imadeupmymindtotwothings:ifitwasstillthenineteenthcenturyandIwasamonglunaticsandcouldn'tgetaway,Iwouldpresentlybossthatasylumorknowthereasonwhy;andif,ontheotherhand,itwasreallythesixthcentury,allright,Ididn'twantanysofterthing:Iwouldbossthewholecountryinsideofthreemonths;forIjudgedIwouldhavethestartofthebest-educatedmaninthekingdombyamatterofthirteenhundredyearsandupward.I'mnotamantowastetimeaftermymind'smadeupandthere'sworkonhand;
　　soIsaidtothepage:
　　"Now,Clarence,myboy——ifthatmighthappentobeyourname——I'llgetyoutopostmeupalittleifyoudon'tmind.Whatisthenameofthatapparitionthatbroughtmehere?"
　　"Mymasterandthine?ThatisthegoodknightandgreatlordSirKaytheSeneschal,fosterbrothertoourliegetheking."
　　"Verygood;goon,tellmeeverything."
　　Hemadealongstoryofit;butthepartthathadimmediateinterestformewasthis:HesaidIwasSirKay'sprisoner,andthatintheduecourseofcustomIwouldbeflungintoadungeonandleftthereonscantcommonsuntilmyfriendsransomedme——unlessIchancedtorot,first.
　　Isawthatthelastchancehadthebestshow,butIdidn'twasteanybotheraboutthat;timewastooprecious.Thepagesaid,further,thatdinnerwasaboutendedinthegreathallbythistime,andthatassoonasthesociabilityandtheheavydrinkingshouldbegin,SirKaywouldhavemeinandexhibitmebeforeKingArthurandhisillustriousknightsseatedattheTableRound,andwouldbragabouthisexploitincapturingme,andwouldprobablyexaggeratethefactsalittle,butitwouldn'tbegoodformformetocorrecthim,andnotoversafe,either;andwhenIwasdonebeingexhibited,thenhoforthedungeon;buthe,Clarence,wouldfindawaytocomeandseemeeverynowandthen,andcheermeup,andhelpmegetwordtomyfriends.
　　Getwordtomyfriends!Ithankedhim;Icouldn'tdoless;andaboutthistimealackeycametosayIwaswanted;soClarenceledmeinandtookmeofftoonesideandsatdownbyme.
　　Well,itwasacuriouskindofspectacle,andinteresting.Itwasanimmenseplace,andrathernaked——yes,andfullofloudcontrasts.Itwasvery,verylofty;soloftythatthebannersdependingfromthearchedbeamsandgirdersawayuptherefloatedinasortoftwilight;therewasastone-railedgalleryateachend,highup,withmusiciansintheone,andwomen,clothedinstunningcolors,intheother.Thefloorwasofbigstoneflagslaidinblackandwhitesquares,ratherbatteredbyageanduse,andneedingrepair.Astoornament,therewasn'tany,strictlyspeaking;
　　thoughonthewallshungsomehugetapestrieswhichwereprobablytaxedasworksofart;battle-pieces,theywere,withhorsesshapedlikethosewhichchildrencutoutofpaperorcreateingingerbread;withmenontheminscalearmorwhosescalesarerepresentedbyroundholes——sothattheman'scoatlooksasifithadbeendonewithabiscuit-punch.Therewasafireplacebigenoughtocampin;anditsprojectingsidesandhood,ofcarvedandpillaredstonework,hadthelookofacathedraldoor.Alongthewallsstoodmen-at-arms,inbreastplateandmorion,withhalberdsfortheironlyweapon——rigidasstatues;andthatiswhattheylookedlike.
　　InthemiddleofthisgroinedandvaultedpublicsquarewasanoakentablewhichtheycalledtheTableRound.Itwasaslargeasacircusring;
　　andarounditsatagreatcompanyofmendressedinsuchvariousandsplendidcolorsthatithurtone'seyestolookatthem.Theyworetheirplumedhats,rightalong,exceptthatwheneveroneaddressedhimselfdirectlytotheking,heliftedhishatatriflejustashewasbeginninghisremark.
　　Mainlytheyweredrinking——fromentireoxhorns;butafewwerestillmunchingbreadorgnawingbeefbones.Therewasaboutanaverageoftwodogstooneman;andthesesatinexpectantattitudestillaspentbonewasflungtothem,andthentheywentforitbybrigadesanddivisions,witharush,andthereensuedafightwhichfilledtheprospectwithatumultuouschaosofplungingheadsandbodiesandflashingtails,andthestormofhowlingsandbarkingsdeafenedallspeechforthetime;butthatwasnomatter,forthedog-fightwasalwaysabiggerinterestanyway;themenrose,sometimes,toobserveitthebetterandbetonit,andtheladiesandthemusiciansstretchedthemselvesoutovertheirbalusterswiththesameobject;andallbrokeintodelightedejaculationsfromtimetotime.
　　Intheend,thewinningdogstretchedhimselfoutcomfortablywithhisbonebetweenhispaws,andproceededtogrowloverit,andgnawit,andgreasethefloorwithit,justasfiftyotherswerealreadydoing;andtherestofthecourtresumedtheirpreviousindustriesandentertainments.
　　Asarule,thespeechandbehaviorofthesepeopleweregraciousandcourtly;andInoticedthattheyweregoodandseriouslistenerswhenanybodywastellinganything——Imeaninadog-fightlessinterval.Andplainly,too,theywereachildlikeandinnocentlot;tellingliesofthestateliestpatternwithamostgentleandwinningnaivety,andreadyandwillingtolistentoanybodyelse'slie,andbelieveit,too.Itwashardtoassociatethemwithanythingcruelordreadful;andyettheydealtintalesofbloodandsufferingwithaguilelessrelishthatmademealmostforgettoshudder.
　　Iwasnottheonlyprisonerpresent.Thereweretwentyormore.Poordevils,manyofthemweremaimed,hacked,carved,inafrightfulway;andtheirhair,theirfaces,theirclothing,werecakedwithblackandstiffeneddrenchingsofblood.Theyweresufferingsharpphysicalpain,ofcourse;
　　andweariness,andhungerandthirst,nodoubt;andatleastnonehadgiventhemthecomfortofawash,oreventhepoorcharityofalotionfortheirwounds;yetyouneverheardthemutteramoanoragroan,orsawthemshowanysignofrestlessness,oranydispositiontocomplain.Thethoughtwasforceduponme:"Therascals——THEYhaveservedotherpeoplesointheirday;itbeingtheirownturn,now,theywerenotexpectinganybettertreatmentthanthis;sotheirphilosophicalbearingisnotanoutcomeofmentaltraining,intellectualfortitude,reasoning;itismereanimaltraining;theyarewhiteIndians."
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter3Chapter3-KnightsoftheTableRoundMAINLYtheRoundTabletalkwasmonologues——narrativeaccountsoftheadventuresinwhichtheseprisonerswerecapturedandtheirfriendsandbackerskilledandstrippedoftheirsteedsandarmor.Asageneralthing——asfarasIcouldmakeout——thesemurderousadventureswerenotforaysundertakentoavengeinjuries,nortosettleolddisputesorsuddenfallingsout;no,asaruletheyweresimplyduelsbetweenstrangers——duelsbetweenpeoplewhohadneverevenbeenintroducedtoeachother,andbetweenwhomexistednocauseofoffensewhatever.ManyatimeIhadseenacoupleofboys,strangers,meetbychance,andsaysimultaneously,"Icanlickyou,"
　　andgoatitonthespot;butIhadalwaysimagineduntilnowthatthatsortofthingbelongedtochildrenonly,andwasasignandmarkofchildhood;
　　butherewerethesebigboobiesstickingtoitandtakingprideinitclearupintofullageandbeyond.Yettherewassomethingveryengagingaboutthesegreatsimple-heartedcreatures,somethingattractiveandlovable.
　　Theredidnotseemtobebrainsenoughintheentirenursery,sotospeak,tobaitafish-hookwith;butyoudidn'tseemtomindthat,afteralittle,becauseyousoonsawthatbrainswerenotneededinasocietylikethat,andindeedwouldhavemarredit,hinderedit,spoileditssymmetry——perhapsrendereditsexistenceimpossible.
　　Therewasafinemanlinessobservableinalmosteveryface;andinsomeacertainloftinessandsweetnessthatrebukedyourbelittlingcriticismsandstilledthem.AmostnoblebenignityandpurityreposedinthecountenanceofhimtheycalledSirGalahad,andlikewiseintheking'salso;andtherewasmajestyandgreatnessinthegiantframeandhighbearingofSirLauncelotoftheLake.
　　TherewaspresentlyanincidentwhichcenteredthegeneralinterestuponthisSirLauncelot.Atasignfromasortofmasterofceremonies,sixoreightoftheprisonersroseandcameforwardinabodyandkneltonthefloorandlifteduptheirhandstowardtheladies'galleryandbeggedthegraceofawordwiththequeen.Themostconspicuouslysituatedladyinthatmassedflower-bedoffeminineshowandfineryinclinedherheadbywayofassent,andthenthespokesmanoftheprisonersdeliveredhimselfandhisfellowsintoherhandsforfreepardon,ransom,captivity,ordeath,assheinhergoodpleasuremightelect;andthis,ashesaid,hewasdoingbycommandofSirKaytheSeneschal,whoseprisonerstheywere,hehavingvanquishedthembyhissinglemightandprowessinsturdyconflictinthefield.
　　Surpriseandastonishmentflashedfromfacetofacealloverthehouse;
　　thequeen'sgratifiedsmilefadedoutatthenameofSirKay,andshelookeddisappointed;andthepagewhisperedinmyearwithanaccentandmannerexpressiveofextravagantderision——
　　"SirKAY,forsooth!Oh,callmepetnames,dearest,callmeamarine!
　　Intwiceathousandyearsshalltheunholyinventionofmanlaboratoddstobegetthefellowtothismajesticlie!"
　　EveryeyewasfastenedwithsevereinquiryuponSirKay.Buthewasequaltotheoccasion.Hegotupandplayedhishandlikeamajor——andtookeverytrick.Hesaidhewouldstatethecaseexactlyaccordingtothefacts;hewouldtellthesimplestraightforwardtale,withoutcommentofhisown;"andthen,"saidhe,"ifyefindgloryandhonordue,yewillgiveituntohimwhoisthemightiestmanofhishandsthateverbareshieldorstrakewithswordintheranksofChristianbattle——evenhimthatsitteththere!"andhepointedtoSirLauncelot.Ah,hefetchedthem;itwasarattlinggoodstroke.ThenhewentonandtoldhowSirLauncelot,seekingadventures,somebrieftimegoneby,killedsevengiantsatonesweepofhissword,andsetahundredandforty-twocaptivemaidensfree;
　　andthenwentfurther,stillseekingadventures,andfoundhimSirKay
　　fightingadesperatefightagainstnineforeignknights,andstraightwaytookthebattlesolelyintohisownhands,andconqueredthenine;andthatnightSirLauncelotrosequietly,anddressedhiminSirKay'sarmorandtookSirKay'shorseandgathimawayintodistantlands,andvanquishedsixteenknightsinonepitchedbattleandthirty-fourinanother;andalltheseandtheformerninehemadetoswearthataboutWhitsuntidetheywouldridetoArthur'scourtandyieldthemtoQueenGuenever'shandsascaptivesofSirKaytheSeneschal,spoilofhisknightlyprowess;andnowherewerethesehalfdozen,andtherestwouldbealongassoonastheymightbehealedoftheirdesperatewounds.
　　Well,itwastouchingtoseethequeenblushandsmile,andlookembarrassedandhappy,andflingfurtiveglancesatSirLauncelotthatwouldhavegothimshotinArkansas,toadeadcertainty.
　　EverybodypraisedthevalorandmagnanimityofSirLauncelot;andasforme,Iwasperfectlyamazed,thatoneman,allbyhimself,shouldhavebeenabletobeatdownandcapturesuchbattalionsofpracticedfighters.
　　IsaidasmuchtoClarence;butthismockingfeatherheadonlysaid:
　　"AnSirKayhadhadtimetogetanotherskinofsourwineintohim,yehadseentheaccomptdoubled."
　　Ilookedattheboyinsorrow;andasIlookedIsawthecloudofadeepdespondencysettleuponhiscountenance.Ifollowedthedirectionofhiseye,andsawthataveryoldandwhite-beardedman,clothedinaflowingblackgown,hadrisenandwasstandingatthetableuponunsteadylegs,andfeeblyswayinghisancientheadandsurveyingthecompanywithhiswateryandwanderingeye.Thesamesufferinglookthatwasinthepage'sfacewasobservableinallthefacesaround——thelookofdumbcreatureswhoknowthattheymustendureandmakenomoan.
　　"Marry,weshallhaveitaagain,"sighedtheboy;"thatsameoldwearytalethathehathtoldathousandtimesinthesamewords,andthatheWILLtelltillhedieth,everytimehehathgottenhisbarrelfullandfeelethhisexaggeration-milla-working.WouldGodIhaddiedorIsawthisday!"
　　"Whoisit?"
　　"Merlin,themightyliarandmagician,perditionsingehimforthewearinessheworkethwithhisonetale!Butthatmenfearhimforthathehaththestormsandthelightningsandallthedevilsthatbeinhellathisbeckandcall,theywouldhavedughisentrailsoutthesemanyyearsagotogetatthattaleandsquelchit.Hetellethitalwaysinthethirdperson,makingbelieveheistoomodesttoglorifyhimself——maledictionslightuponhim,misfortunebehisdole!Goodfriend,pritheecallmeforevensong."
　　Theboynestledhimselfuponmyshoulderandpretendedtogotosleep.
　　Theoldmanbeganhistale;andpresentlytheladwasasleepinreality;
　　soalsowerethedogs,andthecourt,thelackeys,andthefilesofmen-at-arms.
　　Thedroningvoicedronedon;asoftsnoringaroseonallsidesandsupporteditlikeadeepandsubduedaccompanimentofwindinstruments.Someheadswereboweduponfoldedarms,somelaybackwithopenmouthsthatissuedunconsciousmusic;thefliesbuzzedandbit,unmolested,theratsswarmedsoftlyoutfromahundredholes,andpatteredabout,andmadethemselvesathomeeverywhere;andoneofthemsatuplikeasquirrelontheking'sheadandheldabitofcheeseinitshandsandnibbledit,anddribbledthecrumbsintheking'sfacewithnaiveandimpudentirreverence.Itwasatranquilscene,andrestfultothewearyeyeandthejadedspirit.
　　Thiswastheoldman'stale.Hesaid:
　　"RightsothekingandMerlindeparted,andwentuntilanhermitthatwasagoodmanandagreatleech.Sothehermitsearchedallhiswoundsandgavehimgoodsalves;sothekingwastherethreedays,andthenwerehiswoundswellamendedthathemightrideandgo,andsodeparted.Andastheyrode,Arthursaid,Ihavenosword.Noforce*,saidMerlin,herebyisa[*FootnotefromM.T.:Nomatter.]swordthatshallbeyoursandI
　　may.Sotheyrodetilltheycametoalake,thewhichwasafairwaterandbroad,andinthemidstofthelakeArthurwaswareofanarmclothedinwhitesamite,thatheldafairswordinthathand.Lo,saidMerlin,yonderisthatswordthatIspakeof.Withthattheysawadamselgoinguponthelake.Whatdamselisthat?saidArthur.ThatistheLadyofthelake,saidMerlin;andwithinthatlakeisarock,andthereinisasfairaplaceasanyonearth,andrichlybeseen,andthisdamselwillcometoyouanon,andthenspeakyefairtoherthatshewillgiveyouthatsword.
　　AnonwithalcamethedamseluntoArthurandsalutedhim,andheheragain.
　　Damsel,saidArthur,whatswordisthat,thatyonderthearmholdethabovethewater?Iwoulditweremine,forIhavenosword.SirArthurKing,saidthedamsel,thatswordismine,andifyewillgivemeagiftwhenIaskityou,yeshallhaveit.Bymyfaith,saidArthur,Iwillgiveyouwhatgiftyewillask.Well,saidthedamsel,goyeintoyonderbargeandrowyourselftothesword,andtakeitandthescabbardwithyou,andI
　　willaskmygiftwhenIseemytime.SoSirArthurandMerlinalight,andtiedtheirhorsestotwotrees,andsotheywentintotheship,andwhentheycametotheswordthatthehandheld,SirArthurtookitupbythehandles,andtookitwithhim.Andthearmandthehandwentunderthewater;andsotheycameuntothelandandrodeforth.AndthenSirArthursawarichpavilion.Whatsignifiethyonderpavilion?Itistheknight'spavilion,saidMerlin,thatyefoughtwithlast,SirPellinore,butheisout,heisnotthere;hehathadowithaknightofyours,thathightEgglame,andtheyhavefoughttogether,butatthelastEgglamefled,andelsehehadbeendead,andhehathchasedhimeventoCarlion,andweshallmeetwithhimanoninthehighway.Thatiswellsaid,saidArthur,nowhaveIasword,nowwillIwagebattlewithhim,andbeavengedonhim.
　　Sir,yeshallnotso,saidMerlin,fortheknightiswearyoffightingandchasing,sothatyeshallhavenoworshiptohaveadowithhim;also,hewillnotlightlybematchedofoneknightliving;andthereforeitismycounsel,lethimpass,forheshalldoyougoodserviceinshorttime,andhissons,afterhisdays.Alsoyeshallseethatdayinshortspaceyeshallberightgladtogivehimyoursistertowed.WhenIseehim,Iwilldoasyeadviseme,saidArthur.ThenSirArthurlookedonthesword,andlikeditpassingwell.Whetherlikethyoubetter,saidMerlin,theswordorthescabbard?Melikethbetterthesword,saidArthur.Yearemoreunwise,saidMerlin,forthescabbardisworthtenofthesword,forwhileyehavethescabbarduponyouyeshallneverlosenoblood,beyeneversosorewounded;therefore,keepwellthescabbardalwayswithyou.
　　SotheyrodeintoCarlion,andbythewaytheymetwithSirPellinore;
　　butMerlinhaddonesuchacraftthatPellinoresawnotArthur,andhepassedbywithoutanywords.Imarvel,saidArthur,thattheknightwouldnotspeak.Sir,saidMerlin,hesawyounot;forandhehadseenyouyehadnotlightlydeparted.SotheycameuntoCarlion,whereofhisknightswerepassingglad.Andwhentheyheardofhisadventurestheymarveledthathewouldjeopardhispersonsoalone.Butallmenofworshipsaiditwasmerrytobeundersuchachieftainthatwouldputhispersoninadventureasotherpoorknightsdid."
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter4Chapter4-SirDinadantheHumoristITseemedtomethatthisquaintliewasmostsimplyandbeautifullytold;
　　butthenIhadhearditonlyonce,andthatmakesadifference;itwaspleasanttotheotherswhenitwasfresh,nodoubt.
　　SirDinadantheHumoristwasthefirsttoawake,andhesoonrousedtherestwithapracticaljokeofasufficientlypoorquality.Hetiedsomemetalmugstoadog'stailandturnedhimloose,andhetorearoundandaroundtheplaceinafrenzyoffright,withalltheotherdogsbellowingafterhimandbatteringandcrashingagainsteverythingthatcameintheirwayandmakingaltogetherachaosofconfusionandamostdeafeningdinandturmoil;atwhicheverymanandwomanofthemultitudelaughedtillthetearsflowed,andsomefelloutoftheirchairsandwallowedonthefloorinecstasy.Itwasjustlikesomanychildren.SirDinadanwassoproudofhisexploitthathecouldnotkeepfromtellingoverandoveragain,toweariness,howtheimmortalideahappenedtooccurtohim;andasisthewaywithhumoristsofhisbreed,hewasstilllaughingatitaftereverybodyelsehadgotthrough.Hewassosetupthatheconcludedtomakeaspeech——ofcourseahumorousspeech.IthinkIneverheardsomanyoldplayed-outjokesstrungtogetherinmylife.Hewasworsethantheminstrels,worsethantheclowninthecircus.Itseemedpeculiarlysadtosithere,thirteenhundredyearsbeforeIwasborn,andlistenagaintopoor,flat,worm-eatenjokesthathadgivenmethedrygripeswhenI
　　wasaboythirteenhundredyearsafterwards.Itaboutconvincedmethatthereisn'tanysuchthingasanewjokepossible.Everybodylaughedattheseantiquities——butthentheyalwaysdo;Ihadnoticedthat,centurieslater.However,ofcoursethescofferdidn'tlaugh——Imeantheboy.No,hescoffed;therewasn'tanythinghewouldn'tscoffat.HesaidthemostofSirDinadan'sjokeswererottenandtherestwerepetrified.Isaid"petrified"wasgood;asIbelieved,myself,thattheonlyrightwaytoclassifythemajesticagesofsomeofthosejokeswasbygeologicperiods.
　　Butthatneatideahittheboyinablankplace,forgeologyhadn'tbeeninventedyet.However,Imadeanoteoftheremark,andcalculatedtoeducatethecommonwealthuptoitifIpulledthrough.Itisnousetothrowagoodthingawaymerelybecausethemarketisn'tripeyet.
　　NowSirKayaroseandbegantofireuponhishistory-millwithmeforfuel.Itwastimeformetofeelserious,andIdid.SirKaytoldhowhehadencounteredmeinafarlandofbarbarians,whoallworethesameridiculousgarbthatIdid——agarbthatwasaworkofenchantment,andintendedtomakethewearersecurefromhurtbyhumanhands.Howeverhehadnullifiedtheforceoftheenchantmentbyprayer,andhadkilledmythirteenknightsinathreehours'battle,andtakenmeprisoner,sparingmylifeinorderthatsostrangeacuriosityasIwasmightbeexhibitedtothewonderandadmirationofthekingandthecourt.Hespokeofmeallthetime,intheblandestway,as"thisprodigiousgiant,"and"thishorriblesky-toweringmonster,"and"thistuskedandtalonedman-devouringogre",andeverybodytookinallthisboshinthenaivestway,andneversmiledorseemedtonoticethattherewasanydiscrepancybetweenthesewateredstatisticsandme.HesaidthatintryingtoescapefromhimIsprangintothetopofatreetwohundredcubitshighatasinglebound,buthedislodgedmewithastonethesizeofacow,which"all-tobrast"themostofmybones,andthensworemetoappearatArthur'scourtforsentence.Heendedbycondemningmetodieatnoononthe21st;andwassolittleconcernedaboutitthathestoppedtoyawnbeforehenamedthedate.
　　Iwasinadismalstatebythistime;indeed,IwashardlyenoughinmyrightmindtokeeptherunofadisputethatsprungupastohowIhadbetterbekilled,thepossibilityofthekillingbeingdoubtedbysome,becauseoftheenchantmentinmyclothes.Andyetitwasnothingbutanordinarysuitoffifteen-dollarslopshops.Still,Iwassaneenoughtonoticethisdetail,towit:manyofthetermsusedinthemostmatter-offactwaybythisgreatassemblageofthefirstladiesandgentlemeninthelandwouldhavemadeaComancheblush.Indelicacyistoomildatermtoconveytheidea.However,Ihadread"TomJones,"and"RoderickRandom,"andotherbooksofthatkind,andknewthatthehighestandfirstladiesandgentlemeninEnglandhadremainedlittleornocleanerintheirtalk,andinthemoralsandconductwhichsuchtalkimplies,clearuptoahundredyearsago;infactclearintoourownnineteenthcentury——inwhichcentury,broadlyspeaking,theearliestsamplesoftherealladyandrealgentlemandiscoverableinEnglishhistory——orinEuropeanhistory,forthatmatter——maybesaidtohavemadetheirappearance.SupposeSirWalter,insteadofputtingtheconversationsintothemouthsofhischaracters,hadallowedthecharacterstospeakforthemselves?WeshouldhavehadtalkfromRebeccaandIvanhoeandthesoftladyRowenawhichwouldembarrassatrampinourday.However,totheunconsciouslyindelicateallthingsaredelicate.
　　KingArthur'speoplewerenotawarethattheywereindecentandIhadpresenceofmindenoughnottomentionit.
　　Theyweresotroubledaboutmyenchantedclothesthattheyweremightilyrelieved,atlast,whenoldMerlinsweptthedifficultyawayforthemwithacommon-sensehint.Heaskedthemwhytheyweresodull——whydidn'titoccurtothemtostripme.InhalfaminuteIwasasnakedasapairoftongs!Anddear,dear,tothinkofit:Iwastheonlyembarrassedpersonthere.Everybodydiscussedme;anddiditasunconcernedlyasifIhadbeenacabbage.QueenGueneverwasasnaivelyinterestedastherest,andsaidshehadneverseenanybodywithlegsjustlikeminebefore.ItwastheonlycomplimentIgot——ifitwasacompliment.
　　FinallyIwascarriedoffinonedirection,andmyperilousclothesinanother.Iwasshovedintoadarkandnarrowcellinadungeon,withsomescantremnantsfordinner,somemoldystrawforabed,andnoendofratsforcompany.
　　AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur'sCourt-Chapter5Chapter5-AnInspirationIWASsotiredthatevenmyfearswerenotabletokeepmeawakelong.
　　WhenInextcametomyself,Iseemedtohavebeenasleepaverylongtime.Myfirstthoughtwas,"Well,whatanastonishingdreamI'vehad!
　　IreckonI'vewakedonlyjustintimetokeepfrombeinghangedordrownedorburnedorsomethingI'llnapagaintillthewhistleblows,andthenI'llgodowntothearmsfactoryandhaveitoutwithHercules."
　　ButjustthenIheardtheharshmusicofrustychainsandbolts,alightflashedinmyeyes,andthatbutterfly,Clarence,stoodbeforeme!Igaspedwithsurprise;mybreathalmostgotawayfromme.
　　"What!"Isaid,"youhereyet?Goalongwiththerestofthedream!
　　scatter!"
　　Butheonlylaughed,inhislight-heartedway,andfelltomakingfunofmysorryplight.
　　"Allright,"Isaidresignedly,"letthedreamgoon;I'minnohurry."
　　"Pritheewhatdream?"
　　"Whatdream?Why,thedreamthatIaminArthur'scourt——apersonwhoneverexisted;andthatIamtalkingtoyou,whoarenothingbutaworkoftheimagination."
　　"Oh,la,indeed!andisitadreamthatyou'retobeburnedto-morrow?