Hisvanityandhislazinesswerealikeinvincible.Hebelievedhimselfamiracleoflearningaswellasaperfectthief,andphysicaltoilwasthesole`lay'forwhichheprofessednocapacity.Forawhilehecorrectedthepressforaprinter,andheroundlyassertsthathisknowledgeofliteratureandofforeigntonguesrenderedhiminvaluable.ItwasvanityagainthatinducedhimtoasserthisinnocencewhenhewaslaggedforsovulgaracrimeasstealingawipefromatradesmaninChanceryLane.AtthemomentofarresthewasonhiswaytopurchasebasecoinfromaWhitechapelbit-faker:but,despitehisnefariouserrand,heisrighteouslywrathfulatwhatheassertswasanunjustconviction,andhenceforthheassumedthecrownofmartyrdom.Hisfirstandlastambitionduringtheintervalsoffreedomwasgentility,andsolongashewasnotatworkhelivedthelifeofarespectablegrocer.AlthoughthecasualCyprianflitsacrosshispage,hepursuedtheoneflameofhislifeforthegoodmotive,andheaffectstobeaverymodelofdomesticity.Thesentimentofpietyalsowasstronguponhim,andifhedidnot,liketheillustriousPeace,prayforhisjailer,herivalledthePrisonOrdinaryincomfortingthecondemned.Haditonlybeenhisfatetodieonthegallows,howunctuoushadbeenhiscroak!
　　Thetextofhis`Memoirs'havingbeenedited,itisscarcepossibletodefinehisliterarytalent.Thebook,asitstands,isanexcellentpieceofnarrative,butitlosessomewhatbythepretenceofstyle.Theman'sinvulnerableconceitpreventedanabsolutefrankness,andthereislittleenoughhilaritytocorrecttheacidsentimentandtheintolerablevowsofrepentance.Again,thoughheknowshissubject,andcanpatterflashwiththebest,hisincorrigiblerespectabilityleadshimtoapethemannerofaGrubStreethack,andtobanishtoavocabularythosepearlsofslangwhichmighthaveaddedvigourandlustretohissomewhattiresomepage.However,thethiefcannotescapehisinevitabledefects.Thevanity,theweakness,thesentimentalityofthosewhoarebornbeastsofprey,yethavethefacultyofdepredationonlyhalf-developed,arethefoesoftruth,anditiswelltorememberthattheautobiographyofarascalistaintedatitssource.Acongenialpickpocket,equippedwiththeself-knowledgeandthecandourwhichwouldenablehimtorecognisehimselfanoutlawandjusticehisenemyratherthananinstrumentofmalice,wouldproveaNapoleonratherthanaVaux.Sothatwemuste'enacceptourNewgateCalendarwithitsmanyfaultsuponitshead,andbecontent.
　　Forittakesamanofgeniustowriteabook,andthethiefwhoturnsauthorcommonlyinhabitsaparadiseofthesecond-rate.
　　GEORGEBARRINGTON
　　GEORGEBARRINGTON
　　ASCaptainHindwasmasteroftheroad,GeorgeBarringtonwasandremainsforevertheabsolutemonarchofpickpockets.
　　Thoughtheart,supersedingthecuttingofpurses,hadbeenpractisedwithcourageandaddressforhalfacenturybeforeBarringtonsawthelight,itwashisownincomparablegeniusthatraisedthieveryfromthedangerousvalleyofexperiment,andsetit,secureandhonoured,uponthemountainheightofperfection.
　　Toanaturalhabitofdepredation,which,beingamanofletters,hewaswonttojustify,headdedasurenessofhand,afertilityofresource,arecklessnessofcouragewhichdrovehiscontemporariestoanamazedrespect,andfromwhichnonebutthePhilistinewillwithholdhisadmiration.Anaccidentdiscoveredhistasteandtalent.Atschoolheattemptedtokillacompanion——theoneactofviolencewhichsulliesastrangelygentlecareer;andoutragedattheaffrontofaflogging,hefledwithtwelveguineasandagoldrepeaterwatch.Avulgartheftthis,andnopresageoffuturegreatness;yetitprovesthefearlessgreed,thecontemptofprivateproperty,whichmarkaswithastigmathetemperamentoftheprig.Hisfacultydidnotrustlongforlackofuse,andatDrogheda,whenhewasbutsixteen,heencounteredonePrice,halfbarnstormer,halfthief.
　　Forthwithheembracedthetwinprofessions,andintheinterludeofmoreseriouspursuitsisreportedtohavemadearespectableappearanceasJaffierinVenicePreserved.ForawhilehedreamedofDruryLaneandglory;butanattachmentforMissEgerton,theBelvideratohisownJaffier,wasmorecostlythanthebarnsofLondonderrywarranted,and,withPriceforacolleague,hesetforthonatourofrobbery,merelyinterruptedthroughtwentyyearsbyafewperiodsofenforcedleisure.
　　Hisyouth,indeed,washisgoldenage.Forfouryearshepractisedhisart,chilledbynoshadowofsuspicion,andhisimmunitywasdueaswelltohisexcellentbearingastohissleightofhand.Inoneofthecountlesschap-bookswhichdishonourhisfame,heisunjustlyaccusedofrelyingforhiseffectsuponanelaborateapparatus,halfknife,halfscissors,wherewithtoripthepocketsofhisvictims.Themerebackbitingofenvy!Anartistictriumphwasneverwonsavebylegitimatemeans;andtheherowhoplunderedtheDulceofL——ratRanelagh,whoemptiedthepocketsofhisacquaintancewithoutfearofexposure,whoallbutcarriedoffthepricelesssnuff-boxofCountOrloff,mostassuredlyfollowedhiscraftinfullsimplicityandwithaproperscornofclumsyartifice.Athisfirstappearancehewasthemaster,sumptuouslyapparelled,withPriceforvalet.AtDublinhisbirthandqualitywereneverquestioned,andwhenhemadeadescentuponLondonitwasincompanywithCaptainW.H——n,whoremainedforyearshisloyalfriend.HevisitedBrightonasthechosencompanionofLordFerrersandthewickedLordLyttelton.Hismannersandlearningwerealikeirresistible.Thoughthepickingofpocketswastheartandinterestofhislife,hewasontermsofeasyfamiliaritywithlightliterature,andheconsiderednotoiltoowearisomeifonlyhisconversationmightdazzlehisvictims.Twomaximshecharactereduponhisheart:theone,nevertorunalargeriskforasmallgain;theother,nevertoforgetthecarriageanddictionofagentleman.
　　Heneverstoopedtopilfer,untilexposureanddecayhadweakenedhishand.InhisfirstweekatDublinhecarriedoff1000,anditwasonlyhisfatefulinterviewwithSirJohnFieldingthatgavehimpovertyforabedfellow.Evenattheend,whenheslunkfromtowntotown,anotoriousoutlaw,hehadinspirationsofhisancientmagnificence,and——atChester——heeludedthevigilanceofhisenemiesandcaptured600,wherewithhepurchasedsomemonthsofrespectability.Now,respectabilitywaseverdeartohim,anditwasatoncehispleasureandprofittoliveinthehighestsociety.WereitnotblasphemytosullyBarringtonwithslangyouwouldcallhimamemberoftheswell-mob,but,havingcultivatedagraveandsoberstyleforhimself,herecoiledinhorrorfromtheflashlingo,andhissusceptibilitydemandsrespect.
　　Hekeptacommonplacebook!Waseversuchthriftinathief?
　　Whateverimagesorthoughtsflashedthroughhisbrain,heseizedthemonpaper,even`amidstthejollityofatavern,orinthewarmthofaninterestingconversation.'Wasitthenstrangethathetriumphedasamanoffashionableandculturedleisure?HewouldvisitRanelaghwiththemostdistinguished,andturnawhilefromepigramandjesttoemptythepocketofarichacquaintance.Andeverwithsotactfulacertainty,withsofinearestraintoftheemotions,thatsuspicionwaspreposterous.Tocataloguehisexploitsissuperfluous,yetletitberecordedthatoncehewenttoCourt,habitedasaclergyman,andcamehomethericherforadiamondorder,LordC——'sproudestdecoration.
　　EventheassaultuponPrinceOrloffwasnoblyplanned.
　　Barringtonhadpreciseintelligenceofthemarvelloussnuff-box——
　　theEmpress'sowngifttoherlover;heknewalsohowhemightmeetthePrinceatDruryLane;hehadevendiscoveredthatthePrinceforsafetyhidthejewelinhisvest.ButthePrincefeltthePrig'shanduponthetreasure,andgaveaninstantalarm.
　　Over-confidence,maybe,oratooliberaldinnerwasthecauseoffailure,andBarrington,surroundedinamoment,wasspeedilyinthelock-up.Itwasthefirstrebuffthattheherohadreceived,andstraightwayhistactandingenuitylefthim.Theevidencewasfaulty,theprosecutiondeclined,andnaughtwasnecessaryforescapesavepresenceofmind.Evenfriendswerestaunch,andhadBarringtontoldhiscustomarylie,hischaracterhadgoneunsullied.Yethavingposedforhisfriendsasastudentofthelaw,atBowStreethemustneedsdeclarehimselfadoctor,andtheneedlessdiscrepancyruinedhim.Thoughheescapedthegallows,therewasanendtothediversionsofintellectandfashion;ashediscoveredwhenhevisitedtheHouseofLordstohearanappeal,andBlackRodejectedhimatthepersuasionofMr.G.Asyetunusedtoinsult,hethreatenedviolenceagainsttheaggressor,andfindingnobailhewassentonhisfirstimprisonmenttotheBridewellinTothillFields.
　　Rapid,indeed,wasthedescent.Atthefirstgripofadversity,heforgothischerishedprinciples,andtwoyearslatertheloftiestandmostelegantgentlementhateverpickedapocketwasattheHulks——forrobbingaharlotatDruryLane!Henceforth,hisinsolenceandartistrydeclined,and,thoughtothelasttherewereintervalsofgrandeur,hespentthebetterpartoffifteenyearsinthecommissionofcrimes,whoseverylittlenesscondemnedthem.AtlastanexilefromSt.James'sandRanelagh,hewasforcedintoasocietywhichstillfurtherdegradedhim.
　　Hithertohehadshunnedthesocietyofprofessedthieves;inhisgoldenyouthhehadscornedtoshelterhimintheflashkens,whichwerethenaturalharboursofpickpockets.Butnow,sayshisbiographer,hebegantoseekevilcompany,and,thevictimofhisownfame,foundsafetyonlyinobsceneconcealment.
　　AttheHulksherecoveredsomethingofhisdignity,anddiscretionrenderedhisfirstvisitbriefenough.Evenwhenhewascommittedonasecondoffence,andhadattemptedsuicide,hewasstillirresistible,andhewasdischargedwithseveralyearsofimprisonmenttorun.But,intruth,hewasbornforhonouranddistinction,andcommonactions,commoncriminals,wereintheenddistastefultohim.Inhisheydayhestoopednofurtherthantoemploysuchfencesasmightprofitablydisposeofhisbooty,andthetwopartnersofhismisdeedswerebothremarkable.
　　James,theearlieraccompliceaffectedclericalattire,andin1791`waslivinginaWestphalianmonastery,towhichhesomeyearsagoretired,inanenviablestateofpeaceandpenitence,respectedforhistalents,andlovedforhisamiablemanners,bywhichheisdistinguishedinaneminentdegree.'Theotherruffian,Lowebyname,wasknowntohisownBloomsburySquareforaphilanthropicandculturedgentleman,yetonlysuicidesavedhimfromthegallows.AndwhileBarringtonwaswiseinthechoiceofhisservants,hismannersdroveevenstrangerstoadmiration.Policemenandprisonerswerealikeanxioustodohimhonour.Oncewhenheneededmoneyforhisowndefence,hisbrotherthieves,whomhehadevershunnedanddespised,collected100forthecaptainoftheirguild.Nordidgaolerandjudgeeverforgettherespectduetoagentleman.WhenBarringtonwastriedandcondemnedforthetheftofMr.Townsend'swatchatEnfieldRaces——September15,1790,wasthedayofhislasttransgression——oneknowsnotwhichwasthemoreeloquentinhisrespect,thejudgeortheculprit.
　　ButitwasnotuntilthepickpocketsetoutforBotanyBaythathetookfulladvantageofhisgentlemanlybearing.Tothrust`Mr.'Barringtonintotheholdwasplainlyimpossible,eventhoughtransportationforsevenyearswashispunishment.
　　Whereforehewasadmittedtotheboatswain'smess,wasallowedasmuchbaggageasafirst-classpassenger,anddoubtlessbeguiledthevoyageforotherswiththeinformationofawell-storedmind.Byaninspirationofluckhecheckedamutiny,holdingthequarter-deckagainstamobofruffianswithnoweaponbutamarline-spike.Andhereafter,ashetellsyouinhis`VoyagetoNewSouthWales,'hewasaccordedthefullestlibertytocomeorgo.Hevisitedmanyaforeignportwiththeofficersoftheship;hepackedahundrednote-bookswithtriteandsuperfluousobservations;heposed,inbrief,asthecaptainoftheshipwithoutresponsibility.ArrivedatPortJackson,hewasacclaimedahero,andreceivedwithobsequioussolicitudebytheGovernor,whopromisedthathis`futuresituationshouldbesuchaswouldrenderhisbanishmentfromEnglandaslittleirksomeaspossible.'ForthwithhewasappointedhighconstableofParamatta,and,likeVautrin,whomighthavetakentheyouthfulBarringtonforanotherRastignac,heendedhisdaysthehonourablecustodianoflessfortunateconvicts.Or,asabroadsideballadhasit,HeleftoldDrury'sflashpurlieus,Toturnatlastacopper.
　　Neverdidhereverttohisancientpractice.Ifinhisyouthhehadlivedthedouble-lifewithaneffronteryandelegancewhichBrodiehimselfneverattained,henceforthhiscareerwassingleinitsinnocence.Hebecameapriginthelessharmfulandmoreoffensivesense.Aftertheorthodoxfashionheendearedhimselftoallwhoknewhim,andruledParamattawithanequableseverity.Havingcultivatedthehumanitiesforthebasepurposesofhistrade,henowdevotedhimselftoliteraturewithanenergyofdulness,becoming,asitwere,aliberaleducationpersonified.Hisearliereffortshadbeeninverse,andyouwonderthatnoenterprisingpublisherhadventuredonalimitededition.TimewashecomposedanodetoLight,andoncerecoveringfromafevercontractedatBallyshannon,headdressedafewburninglinestoHygeia:
　　Hygeia!thouwhoseeyesdisplayThelustreofmeridianday;
　　andsoonforendlesscouplets.Then,hadhenotcelebratedinimmortalversehisloveforMissEgerton,untimelydrownedinthewatersoftheBoyne?Butnow,asbecametheConstableofParamatta,hechosethesternermedium,andfolloweduphis`VoyagetoNewSouthWales'withseveralexceedingtriteandvaluablehistories.
　　HismostambitiousworkwasdedicatedinperiodsofunctuouspietytohisMajestyKingGeorgeIII.,andthebook'sfirstsentenceischaracteristicofhismethodandsensibility:`Incontemplatingtheorigin,rise,andfallofnations,themindisalternatelyfilledwithamixtureofsacredpainandpleasure.'
　　Wouldyoureadfurther?ThenyouwillfindFaunaandFlora,twingoddessesofineptitude,flittingacrossthepage,unreadableasageographicaltreatise.HisfirstmasterpiecewastranslatedintoFrench,annoVI.,andthetranslatorapologisesthatwarwithEnglandalonepreventsthecompilationofasuitablebiography.Waseverthieftreatedwithsograveaconsideration?
　　ThenanotherworkwasprefacedbytheRightHon.WilliamEden,andallwere`embellishedwithbeautifulcolouredplates,'andranthroughseveraleditions.Onceonlydidhereturntopoetry,thefavouredmediumofhisyouth,andhereturnedtowriteanimperishableline.Eventhenhispedantrypersuadedhimtorenouncetheauthorship,andtodisparagetheachievement.TheoccasionwastheopeningofatheatreatSydney,whereinthepartsweresustainedbyconvicts.Thecostofadmissiontothegallerywasoneshilling,paidinmoney,flour,meat,orspirits.
　　TheplaywasentitledTheRevengeandtheHotel,andBarringtonprovidedtheprologue,whichforonepassageisforevermemorable.Thusitruns:
　　Fromdistantclimes,o'erwidespreadseas,wecome,Thoughnotwithmucheclatorbeatofdrum;
　　Truepatriotswe,forbeitunderstood,Weleftourcountryforourcountry'sgood.
　　Noprivateviewsdisgracedourgenerouszeal,Whaturgedourtravelswasourcountry'sweal;
　　Andnonewilldoubt,butthatouremigrationHasprovedmostusefultotheBritishnation.
　　`Weleftourcountryforourcountry'sgood.'Thatline,thrownfortuitouslyintofourhundredpagesofsolidprose,hasemergedtobecomethecommonpossessionofFleetStreet.Itistheman'sonetitletoliteraryfame,forspurningthethievishpracticeheknewsowell,hewasrighteouslyindignantwhenTheLondonSpywasfathereduponhim.Thoughheemptiedhiscontemporary'spocketsofmanythousands,heenrichedtheDictionaryofQuotationswithoneline,whichwillberepeatedsolongasthereishumanhandtowieldapen.And,iftheHighConstableofParamattawastediouslyrespectable,GeorgeBarrington,thePrig,wasamanofgenius.
　　THESWITCHER
　　ANDGENTLEMANHARRY
　　I
　　THESWITCHER
　　THESWITCHER
　　DAVIDHAGGARTwasbornatCanonmills,withnoricherbirthrightthanthievishfingersandalefthandofsurpassingactivity.
　　Thesonofagamekeeper,hegrewupalong-legged,red-headedcallant,lurkinginthesombreshadowoftheCowgate,orliketheyoungSirWalter,championingtheAuldTownagainsttheNewontheslopesofArthur'sSeat.Kippingwashisearlysin;butthesportsman'sinstinct,bornofhisfather'strade,wassostrongwithinhim,thathepinchedafightingcockbeforehewasbreeched,andriskedthenooseforhorse-stealingwhenmarblesshouldhaveengrossedhisboyishfancy.Turbulentandlawless,hebitterlyresentedtheintolerablerestraintofatranquillife,and,atlast,inthehopeofalargerliberty,heenlistedforadrummerintheNorfolkMilitia,stationedatthemomentinEdinburghCastle.Abrief,insubordinateyear,misspentinhiscountry'sservice,provedhimhopelessofdiscipline:heclaimedhisdischarge,andhenceforthhewasfreetofollowtheonecraftforwhichnatureandhisownambitionhadmouldedhim.
　　LikeChatterton,likeRimbaud,Haggartcameintothefullpossessionofhistalentwhilestillachild.ABarringtonoffourteen,hekneweveryturnandtwistofhiscraft,beforeheescapedfromschool.Hisyouthfulnecessitiesweremunificentlysuppliedbyfaciledepredation,andtheonlyhindrancetoimmediatericheswashisignoranceofflashkenswherehemightfencehisplunder.Meanwhilehepaintedhissoulblackwithwickedness.SuchhoursashecouldsnatchfromtheprofitableconductofhistradehedevotedtotheausteredebaucheryofLeithortheGoldenAcre.Thoughheknewnottheseductionofwhisky,hemissedneveradancenoraraffle,joiningthefrolicsofprigsandcalletsincompleteforgetfulnessoftheshortercatechism.Invainthekirkcomparedhimtoa`bottleinthesmoke';invaintheministerwhisperedofhellandthegallows;
　　hishearthardened,ashisfingersgrewagile,andwhen,atsixteen,helefthisfather'shouseforasportinglife,hehadnothisequalinthethreekingdomsforcunningandcourage.
　　HisfirstaccomplicewasBarneyM'Guire,who——untilafourteenstretchsenthimtoBotanyBay——playedClytustoDavid'sAlexander,anditwasatPortobelloRacesthattheirbrilliantpartnershipbegan.HithertoHaggarthadworkedbystealth;hehadtrackedhisbootyunderthecloudofnight.Nowwasthemomenttoprovehisprowessintheeyeofday,tobreakwithapastwhichhealreadydeemedignoble.Hisheartleapedwiththeoccasion:hetackledhisadventurewiththehot-headenergyofanewmember,bigwithhismaidenspeech.Thevictimwaschoseninaninstant:abacker,whosegoodfortunehadbrokenthebookmakers.Therewasnothiefonthecoursewhodidnotwait,inhungryappetence,thesportsman'sdescentfromthestand;yetthenoviceoutstrippedthemall.`Igotthefirstdiveathiskeek-cloy,'hewritesinhissimple,heroicstyle,`andwassoeageronmyprey,thatIpulledoutthepocketalongwiththemoney,andnearlyupsetthegentleman.'Asteadybrainsavedhimfromtheconsequenceofano'erbuoyantenthusiasm.ThenoteswerepassedtoBarneyinaflash,andwhenthesportsmanturneduponhisassailant,Haggart'shandswereempty.
　　Thereuponfollowedaninfiniteseriesofbrilliantexploits.
　　WithBarneytoaid,heplunderedtheBorderlikeareiver.HestrippedtheyeomenofTweedsidewithaferocitywhichshouldhaveavengedthedisgraceofFlodden.MorethanonceheransackedEcclefechan,thoughitisunlikelythatheemptiedtheleanpocketofThomasCarlyle.TherewasnotagafffromNewcastletotheTaywhichhedidnothauntwithsedulousperseverance;norwasheconfrontedwithfailure,untilhisfigurebecameauniversalterror.Hiscommonmethodwastopriceahorse,andwhilethedealershowedBarneytheanimal'steeth,Haggartwouldslipundertheupliftedarm,andeasetheblockheadofhisblunt.Arrogantinhisskill,delightedwithhismanifoldtriumphs,Haggartledalifeofunbrokenprosperityunderthebriskairofheaven,and,despitetheriskofhisprofession,heremainedtwoyearsastrangertopovertyandimprisonment.Hisworstmishapwastosliphisforksintoanemptypocket,ortoencounterinhiscupsamilvaderinghorse-
　　dealer;buthisjoyswerefreeandfrank,whileheexultedinhissuccesswithaboyishglee.`IwasneverhappierinallmylifethanwhenIfingeredallthismoney,'heexclaimswhenhehadcapturedthecomfortableprizeoftwohundredpounds.AndthenhewouldmakemerryatNewcastleorYork,forgettingtheknowingonesforawhile,goingabroadinwhitecapeandtops,andflickinghisleglikeagentlemanwithadandywhip.ButatlastBarneyandawaywardambitionpersuadedhimtodeserthispropercraftforthegreaterhazardofcrackingacrib,andthushewasinvolvedinhisultimateruin.Heincurredandhedeservedtheuntowardfateofthosewhooverlooktheirtalents'limitation;
　　andwhenthismasterofpickpocketsfollowedBarneythroughthewindowofasecludedhouseupontheYorkRoad,hemightalreadyhavefeltthenoosetighteningathisneck.Theimmediaterewardofthisbungledattackwasthirtypounds,buttwodayslaterhewascommittedwithBarneytotheDurhamAssizes,whereheexchangedtheobscurityoftheperfectcraftsmanforthenotorietyofthedangerousgaol-bird.
　　Forthemoment,however,herecoveredhisfreedom:breakingprison,hestraightwayconveyedafiddlesticktohiscomrade,andinatwinklingwasatNewcastleagain,pickinguppurseswelllinedwithgold,androbbingthebumpkinsoftheirscoutsandchats.Butthetimeofsecuritywasoverpast.Markedandsuspicious,hebegantofearthesolitudeofthecountry;heleftthehorse-fairforthecity,andsoughtinthebudging-kensofEdinburghthesecrecyimpossibleonthehill-side.Aclumsyexperimentinshop-liftingdoubledhisdanger,andmorethanoncehesawtheinsideofthepolice-office.Henceforth,hewasfreeofthefamily;heloafedintheShirra-Brae;heknewtheflashhousesofLeithandtheGrassmarket.WithJeanJohnston,theblowenofhischoice,hesmearedhishandswiththesqualorofpettytheft,andthedrunkenrecklessnesswherewithheswaggereditabroadhastenedhisapproachingdownfall.
　　Withaperpetualanxietytoavoidthenippershisartistrydwindled.Thelefthand,invincibleontheCheviots,seemednobetterthanabunchofthumbsinthenarrowwaysofEdinburgh;
　　andafterinnumerablemisadventuresHaggartwassafelylodgedinDumfriesgaol.Nosoonerwashelockedwithinhiscellthanhisrestlessbrainplannedagenerousescape.Hewouldwinlibertyforhisfellowsaswellasforhimself,andafterabriefcouncilamurderousplotwasframedandexecuted.AstoneslunginahandkerchiefsentMorrin,thegaoler,tosleep;thekeysfoundonhimopenedthemassydoors;andHaggartwasfreewitharewardsetuponhishead.Theshockoftheenterpriserestoredhismagnanimity.Neverdidhedisplayafinerbraverythaninthisspiritedraceforhislife,andthoughthreecountieswerearousedhedoubledandduckedtosuchpurposethatheoutstrippedJohnRichardsonhimselfwithallhisbloodhounds,andtwodayslatermarchedintoCarlisledisguisedinthestolenragsofapotato-bogle.
　　DuringthefewmonthsthatremainedtohimoflifeheembarkeduponaveritableOdyssey:hescouredScotlandfromtheBordertoSt.Andrews,andfinallycontrivedajourneyoverseatoIreland,wherehemadethenameofDanielO'Brienaterrortowell-doers.
　　Insolentandcareless,helurchedfromprisontoprison;nowitwasArmaghthatheldhim,nowDownpatrick,untilatlasthewasthrustonageneralchargeofvagabondageandill-companyintoKilmainham,whichhassinceharbouredmanyalessvaliantadventurerthanDavidHaggart.Heretheculminatingdisgraceovertookhim:hewasdetectedintheprisonyardbyhisancientenemy,JohnRichardson,ofDumfries,whodraggedhimbacktoScotlandheavilyshackledandchargedwithmurder.Sonimblehadheprovedhimselfinextrication,thathiscaptorssecuredhimwithpitilessseverity;roundhiswaisthecarriedanironbelt,wheretowerepadlockedthechains,clankingathiswristsandankles.Thustorturedandhelpless,hewasfed`likeasuckingturkeyinBedlam';buthissorrowsvanished,andhisdyingcouragerevivedatsightofthetorchlightprocession,whichsetforthfromDumfriestogreethisreturn.
　　Hiscoachwashustledbyamob,thousandsstrong,eagertocatchsightofHaggarttheMurderer,andthoughthespotwhereheslewMorrinwaslikefirebeneathhispassingfeet,hecarriedtohiscellaheartandabrainaflamewithgratifiedvanity.Hisguiltbeingpatent,reprievewasashopelessasacquittal,andaftertheassuredcondemnationhespenthislastfewdayswithwhatprofithemightinreligiousandliteraryexercises.Hecomposedamemoir,whichisamodelofitskind;sodiligentlydidhemakehissoul,thathecouldappearonthescaffoldinachastenedspiritofprayerfulgratitude;and,beinganeminentscoundrel,heseemedapropersubjectfortheministrationsofMr.GeorgeCombe.`ThatistheonethingIdidnotknowbefore,'heconfessedwithanengagingmodesty,whenhisbumpsweresqueezed,andyethewasmorethanamatchfortheamiablephrenologist,whoseignoranceofmankindpersuadedhimtobelievethatanilliteratefeloncouldknowhimselfandanalysehischaracter.
　　Hischaracterescapedhiscriticsasitescapedhimself.TimewaswhenGeorgeBorrow,thatotherpicaroon,surprisedtheyouthfulDavid,thinkingofWillieWallaceupontheCastleRock,andLavengro'sromanticmemorytransformedtheraw-bonedpickpocketintoamonumentalhero,wholackednothingsaveavasttheatretoproduceavasteffect.HewasaTamerlane,robbedofhisopportunity;avaliantwarrior,wholookedinvainforabattlefield;amarauderwhoclimbedthescaffoldnotforthemagnitude,butforthelittlenessofhissins.ThusBorrow,incompletemisunderstandingoftherascal'squalities.
　　Now,Haggart'sambitionwasascircumscribedashisability.Hedied,ashewasborn,anexpertcly-faker,whoseachievementsinsleightofhandareasyetunparalleled.Hadtheworldbeenonevastbreastpockethisfish-hookfingerswouldhaveturneditinsideout.Butitwasnothistomountathrone,oroverthrowadynasty.`Myforks,'heboasted,`areequallylong,andtheyneverfailme.'Thatisatoncethereasonandthejustificationofhistriumph.Bornwithaconsummateartistrytinglingathisfinger-tips,howshouldheescapethecompulsionofagloriousdestiny?Withoutfumblingorfailurehediscoveredthesinglecraftforwhichfortunehadframedhim,andhepursueditwithacourageandanindustrywhichgavehimnotakingdom,butfameandbooty,exceedingevenhisgreedyaspiration.NoTamerlanehe,questingforacontinent,butDavidHaggart,themanwiththelongforks,happyifhesnatchedhisneighbour'spurse.
　　Beforeallthingsherespectedtheprofessionwhichhislefthandmadeinevitable,andwhichhepursuedwithunconquerablepride.
　　Norinhisinspiredyouthwasplunderhissoleambition:hecultivatedthegardenofhisstylewiththenaturalzealoftheartist;hefrowneduponthebunglerwithaloftycontempt.
　　Hismaterialsweresimplicityitself:hisforks,whichwerealwayswithhim,andanother'swell-filledpocket,since,sensibleofdanger,hecarednottoriskhisneckforapursethatdidnotcontainsomuchaswould`sweetenagrawler.'Atitsbest,hismethodwasalwayswitty——thatisthesinglewordwhichwillcharacteriseit——wittyasapieceofHeine'sprose,andasdangerous.Hewouldrunoveraman'spocketswhilehespokewithhim,returningwhathechosetodiscardwithoutthelightestbreathofsuspicion.`Agoodworkman,'hiscontemporariescalledhim;andtheythoughtitashameforhimtobeidle.Moreover,hedidnotblunderunconsciouslyuponhistriumph;hetackledthetradeinsofineaspiritofanalysisthathemighthavebeentheveryAristotleofhisscience.`Thekeek-cloy,'hewrote,inhishintstoyoungsportsmen,`iseasilypicked.Ifthenotesareinthelongfoldjusttipthemtheforks;butifthereisapurseoropenmoneyinthecase,youmustlinkit.'Thebreast-pocket,ontheotherhand,isaseverertest.`Pickingthesuckissometimesakittlejob,'
　　againthephilosopherspeaks.`Ifthecoatisbuttoneditmustbeopenedbyslippingpast.Thenbringthelildownbetweentheflapofthecoatandthebody,keepingyoursparearmacrossyourman'sbreast,andsoslipittoacomrade;thenabusethefellowforjostlingyou.'
　　Notonlydidhemasterthetraditionofthievery;hevauntedhisoriginalitywiththefamiliarcomplacenceofthescoundrel.
　　Forgettingthatitwasbyburglarythathewasundone,heexplainsforhispublicglorificationthathewaswonttoenterthehousesofLeithbyforcingthesmallwindowabovetheouterdoor.Thisartifice,hisvanitygrumbles,isnowcommon;buthewouldhavealltheworldunderstandthatitwashisowninvention,andhemurmurswiththepedantryoftheconvictedcriminalthatitisnowsetforthforthebetterprotectionofhonestcitizens.Nolessadmirableinhisowneyeswasthatotherartificewhichinducedhimtoconcealsuchnotesashemanagedtofilchinthecollarofhiscoat.Thusheeludedthevigilanceofthepolice,whichsearcheditspreyinthosedayswithasorrylackofcunning.Intruth,Haggart'switswereasnimbleashisfingers,andheseldomfailedtorenderaprofitableaccountofhistalents.Hebeguiledoneofhissojournsingaolbymanufacturingtinderwherewithtolighttheprisoners'pipes,anditisnotastonishingthathewonageneralpopularity.InIreland,whentheconstableswouldtakehimforaScot,heansweredinhighTipperary,andsavedhisskinforawhilebyabroguewhichwouldnothaveshamedamodernpatriot.
　　Butquickaswerehiswits,hisvanityalwaysoutstrippedthem,andnoheroeverbraggedofhisachievementswithaloudereffrontery.
　　Nowallyouramblersinmourninggo,Fortheprinceoframblersislyinglow,Andallyoumaidensthatlovethegame,Putonyourmourningveilsagain.
　　ThushecelebratedhisdownfallinaballadthathasthetrueNewgatering,andverilyinhisowneyeshewasaherowhocarriedtothescaffoldadauntlessspiritunstainedbytreachery.
　　Hebelievedhimselfanadeptinallthearts;asasquireofdamesheheldhimselfpeerless,andheassuredtheineffableCombe,whorecordedhisflippantutterancewithacredulousrespect,thathehadsacrificedhecatombsofinnocentvirginstohisimportunatelust.Proseandversetrickledwithequalfacilityfromhispen,andhisbiographyisamasterpiece.
　　Writteninthepedlar'sFrenchasitwasmisspokeninthehellsofEdinburgh,itisanarrativeofuncommonsimplicityanddirectness,marrednowandagainbysuchsuperfluousreflectionsasarethenaturalresultofthievishsentimentality.Hetellshistalewithoutparaphraseoradornment,andtheworthyWritertotheSignet,whopreparedtheworkforthePress,wouldhaveaskedthreetimesthespacetorecordone-halftheadventures.
　　`Isunkuponitwithmyforksandbroughtitwithme';`Weobtainedthirty-threepoundsbythisaffair'——istherenotthestalwartflavouroftheepicintheseplain,unvarnishedsentences?
　　Hisotheraccomplishmentsarepallidinthelightofhisbrilliantlefthand.Once,atDerry——heattendedacock-
　　fight,andbeguiledanintervalbyemptyingthepocketsofaluckybookmaker.Anexpert,whowatchedtheexploitinadmiration,couldnotwithholdacompliment.`YouaretheSwitcher,'heexclaimed;`sometakeall,butyouleavenothing.'
　　AnditisastheSwitcherthatHaggartkeepshismemorygreen.
　　II
　　GENTLEMANHARRY
　　GENTLEMANHARRY
　　`DAMNyeboth!stop,orIwillblowyourbrainsout!'ThusitwasthatHarrySimmsgreetedhisvictims,provinginaphrasethattheheroicageoftherumpadwasnomore.ForgottenthedebonaircourtesyofClaudeDuval!Forgottenthelightningwit,theswiftreparteeoftheincomparableHind!Nolongerwasthehightoby-gloaka`gentleman'oftheroad;hewasabutcher,ifnotabeggar,onhorseback;abraggartwithoutthecouragetopullatrigger;aswashbuckler,obliviousofthatancientstylewhichconvertedthemiseryofsurrenderintoaprivilege.YetHarrySimms,thesupremeadventurerofhisage,wasnotwithoutdistinction;hislitheformandhishard-riddenhorsewerethecommondreadofEngland;hisactivitywasrewardedwithaprincelytreasure;andifhismethodwerelackinginurbanity,theexcuseisthathedancednottothebrilliantmeasureoftheCavaliers,butlimpedtotheclumsyfiddle-scrapingoftheearlyGeorges.
　　AtEton,whereatoo-indulgentgrandmotherhadplacedhim,heransackedthedesksofhisschool-fellows,andavengedabirchingbyemptyinghismaster'spockets.Whereforehelostthehopeofapoliteeducation,andinsteadofproceedingwithaclerklydignitytoKing'sCollege,intheUniversityofCambridge,hewasignominiouslyapprenticedtoabreeches-maker.
　　Theonerestraintwasasirksomeastheother,andHarrySimmsabandonedtheneedle,ashehadscornedthegrammar,togouponthepad.ThoughhisearlycompanionswerescraggedatTyburn,thelight-fingeredrascalwasindifferenttotheirfate,andsquanderingsuchbootyasfelltohisshare,hebravely`turnedout'formore.TottenhamCourtFairwasthetheatreofhischildishexploits,andtherehegainedsomelittleskillinthepickingofpockets.Butaspellofbadtradebroughthimtopoverty,andheattemptedtoreplenishanemptypocketbythechildishexpedientofathreateningletter.
　　Theplanwasconceivedandexecutedwithafutilitywhichensuredaninstantcapture.Thebunglerchoseastrangerathaphazard,commandinghim,underpenaltyofdeath,tolayfiveguineasuponaguninTowerWharf;theguineaswerecunninglydeposited,andtherascal,caughtwithhishanduponthebooty,wascommittedtoNewgate.Youth,andtheintercessionofhisgrandmother,procuredarelease,unjustifiedbytheinfamousstupidityofthetrick.Itsveryclumsinessshouldhavesenthimoversea;anditiswonderfulthatfromabeginningofsolittlepromise,heshouldhaveclimbedeventhefirstslopesofgreatness.However,thememoryofgaolforcedhimtoabriefinterludeofhonesty;