首页 >出版文学> A Book of Scoundrels>第2章
  IftheScoundrelmayclaimdistinctiononmanygrounds,hischaracterissingularlyuniform.Totheanthropologisthemightwellappearthesurvivalofasavagerace,andsavagealsoarehismanifoldsuperstitions.Heisacreatureoftimesandseasons.Hechoosestheoccasionofhisdeedswithasscrupulousacareasheexamineshisformidablecrowbarsandjemmies.Atcertainhourshewouldrefrainfromaction,thougheverycircumstancefavouredhissuccess:hewouldratherobeytherestrainingvoiceofawise,unreasoningwizardry,thanfillhispocketswiththegoldforwhichhishumansouliseverhungry.
  Thereisnolawofmanhedaresnotbreakbutheshrinksinhorrorfromtheinfringementoftheunwrittenrulesofsavagery.
  Thoughhemightcutathroatinself-defence,hewouldneverwalkunderaladder;andifthe13thfellonaFriday,hewouldstarvethatdayratherthanobtainaloafbythemethodhebestunderstands.Heconsultstheomenswithaspatientadivinationastheaugursofold;andsolongashecarriesanamuletinhispocket,thoughitbebutapebbleorapolishednut,heisfilledwithanirresistiblecourage.Forhimtheworstterrorofallistheevileye,andhewouldratherbehangedbyanunsuspectedjudgethanreceiveaneasystretchfromonewhoseglancehedarednotface.Andwhiletheanthropologistclaimshimforasavage,whosecivilisationhasbeenarrestedatbrotherhoodwiththeSolomonIslanders,thepoliticianmightpronouncehimatruecommunist,inthathehaspreservedawholesomecontemptofpropertyandciviclife.Thepedant,again,wouldfeelhisbumps,prescribeagentlecourseofbromide,andhopetocureallthesinsoftheworldbyamunicipalTurkishbath.Thewiseman,respectinghissuperstitions,iscontenttotakehimashefindshim,andtodeducehischaracterfromhisverycandidhistory,whichisunaffectedbypedantorpolitician.
  Beforeallthings,heissanguine;hebelievesthatChance,thegreatgodofhisendeavour,fightsuponhisside.Whateverislackingto-day,to-morrow'senterprisewillfulfil,andifonlytheomensbefavourable,hefearsneitherdetectionnorthegallows.Hiscourageproceedsfromthissanguinetemperament,strengthenedbyshameandtraditionratherthanfromaself-
  controlledmagnanimity;hehopesuntildespairisinevitable,andthenwalksfirmlytothegallows,thatnocomrademaysuspectthewhitefeather.Hisambition,too,istheambitionofthesavageorofthechild;hedespisessuchimmaterialadvantagesaspowerandinfluence,beingperfectlycontentifhehaveasmartcoatonhisbackandabottleofwineathiselbow.
  Hewouldratherpickalockthanbatteraconstitution,andtheworldwouldbewelllost,ifheandhisdoxymightsurveytheruinincomfort.
  Butifhisambitionbemodest,hisloveofnotorietyisboundless.Hemustbefamous,hisnamemustbeinthemouthsofmen,hemustbeimmortalforaweekinaroughwoodcut.Andthen,whatmattersithowsoontheend?Hisbraverieshavebeenhawkedinthestreet;hisprowesshassoldaSpecialEdition;heisthefirstofhisrace,untilaluckierrivaleclipseshim.
  Thus,also,hisdandyismisinevitable:itisnotenoughforhimtocoverhisnakedness——hemustdress;andthoughhistasteissometimesunbridled,itisneverinsignificant.Indeed,hisbiographershaverecordedtheexpressionofhisfancyincoatsandsmall-clothesaspatientlyandenthusiasticallyastheyhaveapplaudedhiscourage.Andtrulytheloveofmagnificence,whichheshareswithallartists,issincereandcharacteristic.WhenanaccompliceofJonathanWild'srobbedLadyM——natWindsor,hisequipagecosthimfortypounds;andNanHerefordwasarrestedforshopliftingattheverymomentthatfourfootmenawaitedherreturnwithanelegantsedan-chair.
  Hisvanitymakeshimbutaprudishlover,whodesirestowoolessthantobewooed;andatalltimesandthroughallmoodsheremainstheprimevalsentimentalist.Hewilldetachhislifeentirelyfromthecatchwordswhichpretendtogovernhisactions;
  hewillsitandcroonthemostheartrendingdittiesincelebrationofhome-lifeandamother'slove,andthensetforthincontinentlyuponawell-plannederrandofplunder.Forallhisartistry,helacksbalanceasflagrantlyasapopularpoliticianoranadvancedjournalist.Thereforeitisthemoreremarkablethatinonepointhedisplaysacertaincaution:hebogglesatasuperfluousmurder.Forallhiscontemptofproperty,hestillpreservesarespectforlife,andtheleastsuspicionofunnecessarybrutalitysetsnotonlythelawbuthisownfellowsagainsthim.LikeallmenwhosegodisOpportunity,heisarecklessgambler;and,likeallgamblers,heismonstrouslyextravagant.Inbrief,heisatangleofpicturesquequalities,which,untilourowngeneration,wasincapableofnothingsavedulness.
  TheBibleandtheNewgateCalendar——thesetwainwereGeorgeBorrow'sfavouritereading,andallsavethepsychologistandthepedantwillapplaudthepreference.Fortheannalsofthe`family'aredistinguishedbyanepicseverity,afearlessdirectnessofspeech,whichyouwillhardlymatchoutsidetheIliadortheChroniclesoftheKings.ButtheNewgateCalendardidnotspringready-madeintobeing:itistheresultofacuriousandgradualdevelopment.Thechap-bookscamefirst,withtheirboldtype,theircoarsepaper,andtheirclumsy,characteristicwoodcuts——thechap-books,whichnonecancontemplatewithoutanenchantedsentiment.Hereatlastyoucomeuponaliterature,whichhasbeenreadtopieces.Theveryrarityoftheslim,roughvolumes,provesthattheyhavebeenhandedfromonegreedyreadertoanother,untilthegreatlibrariesalonearerichenoughtoharbourthem.Theydonotboastthecarefuleleganceofafamouspress:manyofthemcamefromtheprinting-officeofacountrytown:yettheleasthasasimplicityandconcision,whichareunknowninthisageofpopularfiction.Eventheirlackofinventionisadmirable:asthesamewoodcutmightbeusedtorepresentGuy,EarlofWarwick,orthelasthighwaymanwhosufferedatTyburn,sothesameenterpriseisascribedwithadelightfulingenuousnesstoalltheheroeswhorodeabroadunderthestarstofilltheirpockets.
  TheLifeandDeathofGamalielRatseydelightedEnglandin1605,andwastheexampleofafterages.Theanecdoteoftheroadwasalreadycrystallised,andhenceforththerobberwasunabletoactcontrarytothewillofthechap-book.Thustheregrewupafolk-loreofthievery:theveryinsistenceuponthesamemotivesuggeststhefairytale,and,asinthelegendsofeverycountry,thereisanidenticalelementwhichtheanthropologistscall`human';sointheannalsofadventurethereisasetofinvariableincidents,whicharetheessenceofthievery.Theindustrioushacks,towhomweowetheentertainmentofthechap-books,beingseedyparsonsorlawyers'
  clerks,wereconsciousoftheirliterarydeficiencies:theypreferredtoobeytraditionratherthantoinventineptitudes.
  Soyoumaytracethesamejest,thesameintriguethroughtheunnumberedlivesofthreecenturies.Andif,beingaphilosopher,youneglecttheobviousplagiarism,youmayinducefromthesesimilaritiesacunningtheoryconcerningtheuniformityofthehumanbrain.Buttheeasierexplanationis,asalways,themoresatisfactory;andthereislittledoubtthatinversatilitythethiefsurpassedhishistorian.
  Hadthechap-booksstillbeenscatteredindisregardedcorners,theywouldhavebeenunknownormisunderstood.Happily,amanofgeniuscameinthenicktoconvertthemintoasvividandsparklingapieceofliteratureasthetimecouldshow.ThiswasCaptainAlexanderSmith,whoseLivesoftheHighwaymen,publishedin1719,wasproperlydescribedbyitsauthoras`thefirstimpartialpieceofthisnaturewhicheverappearedinEnglish.'Now,CaptainSmithinheritedfromanamelessfathernootherpatrimonythanafierceloyaltytotheStuarts,andthesanguinetemperamentwhichviewsinhorrorawell-orderedlife.
  Thoughamerefoundling,hemanagedtoacquiretherudiments,andhewasnotwhollyunletteredwhenateighteenhetooktotheroad.Hiscourage,fortifiedbyanintimateknowledgeofthegreattradition,wasrewardedbyanimmediatesuccess,andherapidlybecamethemasterofsomuchleisureasenabledhimtopursuehisstudieswithpleasureanddistinction.Whenhiscompanionsdamnedhimforamilksop,hewasloftilycontemptuous,consciousthatitwasnotinintelligencealonethathewastheirsuperior.WhiletheStuartswerethegodsofhisidolatry,whiletheRegicideswerethefiendsofhisfrankabhorrence,itwasfromtheElizabethansthathecaughtthesplendidvigourofhisstyle;andheowednotonlyhishistoricalsense,buthislivingEnglishtotheexampleofPhilemonHolland.Moreover,itistohisconstantglorythat,livingatatimethatpreferredaswelltoattenuatetheEnglishtongueastodegradetheprofessionofthehighway,henotonlyrodeabroadwithafearlesscourtesy,buthandledhisownlanguagewiththeforceandspiritofanearlierage.
  Hewrotewiththeauthorityofcourageandexperience.A
  hazardouscareerhaddrivenenvyandmalicefromhisdauntlessbreast.Thoughheconfessesadebttocertain`learnedandeminentdivinesoftheChurchofEngland,'heowedagreaterdebttohisownobservation,andheknew——nonebetter——howtorecognisewithenthusiasmthosedeedsofdaringwhichonlyhimselfhasrivalled.Amasterofetiquette,hedistributedapprovalandcensurewithimpartialhand;andhewasquicktocondemnthesmallestinfractionofanancientlaw.Norwasheinsensibletothedignityofhistory.Thebestmodelswerealwaysbeforehim.WithadmirablezealhestudiedthemannerofsuchmastersasThucydidesandTitusLiviusofPadua.Aboveall,herealisedtheimportanceofsettingappropriatespeechesinthemouthsofhischaracters;and,permittinghisheroestospeakforthemselves,heimpartedtohisworkanirresistibleairofrealityandgoodfaith.Hisstyle,alwaysstudied,wasneithertoolownortoohighforhissubject.Anill-balancedsentencewasashatefultohimasafoulthrustorastolenadvantage.
  Abroadacraftsman,hecarriedintotheclosettheskillandenergywhichdistinguishedhimwhenthemoonwasontheheath.
  Thoughnotborntotheartsofpeace,hewasdeterminedtoprovehisrespectforletters,andhismasterpieceisnolesspompousinmannerthanitisestimableintoneandsoundinreflection.
  Hehandledslangasonewhoknewitslimitsandpossibilities,employingitnotforthesakeofeccentricity,buttogivethepropercolourandsparkletohispage;indeed,hisintimateacquaintancewiththevagabondsofspeechenabledhimtocompileadictionaryofPedlar'sFrench,whichhasbeenpilferedbyawholebattalionofimitators.Moreover,therewasnoneoftheproverbsofthepavement,thosefirstcousinsofslang,thatescapedhim;andheassumedallthelicenceofthegentleman-
  collectorinthetreatmentofhislove-passages.
  CaptainSmithtookthejustestviewofhissubject.
  Forhimrobbery,inthestreetasonthehighway,wasthefinestofthearts,andhealwaysrevereditforitsownsakeratherthanforvulgarprofit.Though,todeceivethepublic,heabhorredvillainyinword,heneverconcealedhisadmirationindeedofa`highwaymanwhorobslikeagentleman.'
  `Thereisabeautyinalltheworksofnature,'heobservesinoneofhiswittiestexordia,`whichweareunabletodefine,thoughalltheworldisconvincedofitsexistence:soineveryactionandstationoflifethereisagracetobeattained,whichwillmakeamanpleasingtoallabouthimandsereneinhisownmind.'Somethereare,hecontinues,whohaveplaced`thisbeautyinviceitself;otherwiseitishardlyprobablethattheycouldcommitsomanyirregularitieswithastronggustandanappearanceofsatisfaction.'Notwithstandingthattheword`vice'isusedinitsconventionalsense,wehaveherethekeytoCaptainSmith'sposition.Hejudgedhisheroes'achievementswiththeintelligentimpartialityofaconnoisseur,andhepermittednootherprejudicethananunfailingloyaltytointerrupthisopinion.
  ThoughhelovedgoodEnglishashelovedgoodwine,hewasneversohappyaswheninimaginationhewastyingthelegsofaRegicideunderthebellyofanass.Andwheninthemannerofabookseller'shackhecompiledaComicalandTragicalHistoryoftheLivesandAdventuresofthemostnotedBayliffs,adorationoftheRoyalistspersuadedhimtomisshischance.Sobraveaspiritashimselfshouldnothavelookedcomplacentlyupontheofficersofthelaw,buthesawintheglorificationofthebayliffanotherchanceofcastigatingtheRoundheads,andthushesetanhonorificcrownuponthebrowofman'snaturalenemy.`Theseunsanctifiedrascals,'wrotehe,`wouldrunintoanyman'sdebtwithoutpayinghim,andiftheircreditorswereCavalierstheythoughttheyhadasmuchrighttocheat'em,astheIsraeliteshadtospoiltheEgyptiansoftheirear-ringsandjewels.'Alas!thebootwaseverontheotherleg;andyetyoucannotbutadmiretheCaptain'svaliantdeterminationtosacrificeprobabilitytohislegitimatehate.
  Ofhisdecliningyearsanddeaththereisnorecord.Onelikestothinkofhimreleasedfromcare,andsurroundedbybooks,flowers,andthegoodthingsofthisearth.Nowandagain,maybe,hewouldmuseonthestirringdeedsofhisyouth,andmoreoftenhewouldputawaythememoryofactiontodelightinthemasterpiecewhichmadehimimmortal.Hewouldrecallwithpleasure,nodoubt,thereadypraiseofRichardSteele,hismostappreciativecritic,andsmilecontemptuouslyatthebasenessofhisfriendandsuccessor,CaptainCharlesJohnson.Now,thisingeniouswriterwaswonttoboast,whenthealeofFleetStreethadempurpledhisnose,thathewasthemostintrepidhighwaymanofthemall.`Onceuponatime,'hewouldshout,withanarrogantgesture,`IwasknownfromBlackheathtoHounslow,fromWaretoShooter'sHill.'Andthetruthis,theonly`crime'heevercommittedwasplagiarism.Theself-assumedtitleofCaptainshouldhavedeceivednobody,forthebraggartneverstoleanythingmoredifficultofacquisitionthananotherman'swords.Hepickedbrains,notpockets;hecommittedthegreatersinandrannorisk.HehelpedhimselftotheadmirableinventionsofCaptainSmithwithoutapologyoracknowledgment,and,asthoughtolightenthedead-weightofhissin,heneverskippedanopportunityofmaligninghisvictim.AgainandagainintheveryacttostealhewilldeclarevaingloriouslythatCaptainSmith'sstoriesare`barefacedinventions.'Butdoubtwasnochecktothehabitofplunder,andyouknewthatateveryreproach,expressedsotosayinself-defence,hepliedthescissorswiththegreaterenergy.Themostcunningtheftisthetagwhichadornsthetitle-pageofhisbook:
  LittlevillainsoftsubmittofateThatgreatonesmayenjoytheworldinstate.
  ThushequotesfromGay,andyouapplaudtheaptnessofthequotation,untilyoudiscoverthatalreadyitwasusedbySteeleinhisappreciationoftheheroicSmith!However,Johnsonhashisuses,andthosetowhomthemasterpieceofCaptainAlexanderisinaccessiblewillturnwithpleasuretotheGeneralHistoryofthelivesandadventuresofthemostFamousHighwaymen,Murderers,Street-Robbers,&c.,andwillfeelnoregretthatforoncetheyarereceivingstolengoods.
  ThoughJohnsonfellimmeasurablybelowhispredecessorintalent,hemanifestlyexcelledhiminscholarship.AsojournattheUniversityhadsuppliedhimwithafineassortmentofLatintags,andhedelightedtoprovehiseruditionbythecitationoftheChronicles.Hadhepossessedasenseofhumour,hemighthavesmiledattheironyofcommittingatheftuponthehistorianofthieves.Buthewastoovainandtoopompoustosmileathisownweakness,andthushewouldpretendhimselfaventuresomehighwayman,abravewriter,andaprofoundscholar.Indeed,sofardidhispridecarryhim,thathewouldhavetheworldbelievehimthesameCharlesJohnson,whowroteTheGentlemanCullyandTheSuccessfulPyrate.Thuswithaboastfulchucklehewouldquote:
  Johnson,whonowtosense,nownonsenseleaning,Meansnot,butblundersroundaboutameaningThus,ignoringtheinsult,hewouldplumehimselfafterhisdrunkenfashionthathe,too,wasanenemyofPope.
  YetJohnsonhasremainedanexample.Fortheliteratureofscoundrelismisaspersistentinitsformasinitsfolk-lore.
  AsHarman'sCaveat,whichfirstsawthelightin1566,servesasamodeltoanunbrokenseriesofsuchbooks,asTheLondonSpy,sofromJohnsoninduecourseweredevelopedtheNewgateCalendar,andthoseinnumerablerecords,whichthelatterhalfoftheEighteenthCenturyfurnishedusforth.ThecelebratedCalendarwasinitsoriginnothingmorethanalistofprisonersprintedinafolioslip.ButthereafteritbecametheMalefactor'sBloodyRegister,whichweknow.Itsplanandpurposeweretoimprovetheoccasion.Thethiefisnolongeresteemedforanartistorappraiseduponhismerits:heistheawfulwarning,whichshallleadthesinnertorepentance.
  `Here,'saysthepreface,`thegiddythoughtlessyouthmayseeasinamirrorthefatalconsequencesofdeviatingfromvirtue';
  herehemaytrembleatthediscoverythat`oftenthebesttalentsareprostitutedtothebasestpurposes.'Butinspiteof`theproperreflectionsofthewholeaffair,'thefamousCalendardeservedthepraiseofBorrow.Thereisadirectnessinthenarration,whichcapturesallthoseforwhomlifeandliteraturearesomethingbetterthanpsychologicformul.Moreover,themotiveswhichdrivethebrigandtohisdoomarebrutalintheirsimplicity,andwithalasgenuineandsincereasgreed,vanity,andlustcanmakethem.Thetrueamateurtakespleasureeveninthepiousexhortations,becauseheknowsthattheycrawlintotheirplace,lestthehypocritebescandalised.ButwithyearstheNewgateCalendaralsodeclined,andatlastithasfollowedotherdeadliteraturesintothenight.
  Meanwhilethebroadsidehadenjoyedanunbrokenandprosperouscareer.UpanddownLondon,upanddownEngland,hurriedthePattererorFlyingStationer.Therewasnomurder,notheft,noconspiracy,whichdidnottempttheGutterMusetodoggerel.
  ButitwasnotuntilJamesCatnachcameupfromAlnwicktoLondonin1813,thatthetradereachedthetopofitsprosperity.Thevastsheets,whichhepublishedwiththeirscurvycouplets,andtheadmirablepicture,servinginitstimeforahundredexecutions,havenotlosttheirpowertofascinate.Theirsistheaspectoftheearlywoodcut;thecoarsetypeandthecatchpennyheadlinesareaperpetualdelight;asyouunfoldthem,yourcarekeepspacewithyouradmiration;andyoucannotfeelthemcracklebeneathyourhandwithoutenthusiasmandwithoutregret.Hewasnopedant——JemmyCatnach;andtheimageofhisruffianswascommonlyasfarfromportraiture,ashisverseswereremotefrompoetry.Butheputtogetherinaroughlyartisticshapethelastmurder,robbery,orscandaloftheday.Hismasterpieceswerefartoopopulartolive,andiftheyknewsovastacirculationas2,500,000theyarehardindeedtocomeby.
  Andnowtheartiswellnighdead;thoughyoumaydiscoveraninfrequentsurvivalinacountrytown.ButhowshouldCatnach,werehealiveto-day,competewiththeSpecialEditionofaneveningprint?
  ThedeclineoftheScoundrel,infact,hasbeenfollowedbythedisappearanceofchap-bookandbroadside.TheEducationAct,whichmadethecheapnovelanecessity,destroyedatablowtheliteratureofthestreet.Sincethehighwaymanwandered,fur-
  coated,intotheCity,thepattererhaslosthisoccupation.
  RobberyandmurderhavedegeneratedintoChinesepuzzles,whosesolutionisapleasantirritanttotheidlebrain.ThemisunderstandingofPoehasproducedavastpolyglotliterature,forwhichonewouldnotgiveinexchangeasinglechapterofCaptainSmith.VautrinandBillSykesarealreadydiscredited,anditisafalsereflectionofM.Dupin,whichdazzlestheeyeofamoralandunimaginativeworld.Yetthewisemansighsforthosefearlessdays,whenthebrilliantMacheathrodevizardeddownShooter'sHill,andpresentlysawhisexploitssetforth,withtheproperaccompanimentofarenownedandancientwoodcut,uponapennybroadside.
  CAPTAINHIND
  CAPTAINHIND
  JAMESHIND,theMasterThiefofEngland,thefearlessCaptainoftheHighway,wasbornatChippingNortonin1618.Hisfather,asimplesaddler,hadsopooranappreciationofhisson'smagnanimity,thatheapprenticedhimtoabutcher;butHind'sdestinywastoembruehishandsinotherthanthebloodofoxen,andhehadnotlongenduredtherestraintofthiscommoncraftwhenfortyshillings,thegiftofhismother,purchasedhimanescape,andcarriedhimtriumphantandambitioustoLondon.
  Eveninhisnegligentschooldayshehadfasteneduponafittingcareer.Abornadventurer,hesoughtonlyenterpriseandcommand:ifacommissioninthearmyfailedhim,thenhewouldriskhisneckupontheroad,levyinghisowntaxandimposinghisownconditions.Tooneofhisdauntlessresolutionanopportunityneedneverhavelacked;yetheowedhisfirstprefermenttoahappyaccident.Surprisedoneeveninginadrunkenbrawl,hewashustledintothePoultryCounter,andtheremadeacquaintanceoverafreshbottlewithRobertAllen,oneofthechiefroguesinthePark,andaruffian,whohadmasteredeverytrickinthegameofplunder.Adexterouscly-faker,anintrepidblade,Allenhadalsothekeenesteyeforuntestedtalent,andhedetectedHind'sshiningqualitiesafterthefirstglass.Nosoonerhadtheypaidthepriceofrelease,thanHindwasadmittedofhiscomrade'sgang;hetooktheoathoffealty,andbywayofwinninghisspurswasbidtoholdupatravelleronShooter'sHill.Grantedhischoiceofamount,hestraightwaytookthefinestinthestable,withthatkeenperceptionofhorse-fleshwhichneverdesertedhim,andheconfrontedhisfirstvictimintheliveliestofhumours.Therewasnofalterinhisvoice,nohintofinexperienceinhismanner,whenheshoutedthebattle-cry:`Standanddeliver!'Thehorseman,fearfulofhislife,instantlysurrenderedapurseoftensovereigns,astothemostpractisedassailantontheroad.WhereuponHind,withaflourishofancientcourtesy,gavehimtwentyshillingstobearhischarges.`This,'saidhe,`isforhandsalesake';andthustheypartedinmutualcomplimentandcontent.
  Allenwasoverjoyedathisnovice'sprowess.`Didyounotsee,'
  hecriedtohiscompanions,`howherobbedhimwithagrace?'
  Andwelldidthetrooperdeservehiscaptain'scompliment,forhisartwasperfectfromthefirst.Inbraveryasingallantryheknewnorival,andheplunderedwithsoelegantastyle,thatonlyachurlishvictimcouldresenttheextortion.Hewouldassoonhaveturnedhisbackuponanenemyasdemandapurseuncovered.Foreverymanhehadaquip,foreverywomanacompliment;nordidheeverconcealthetruththatthemeanswereforhimasimportantastheend.Thoughhelovedmoney,hestillinsistedthatitshouldbeyieldedinfreedomandgoodtemper;
  andwhileheemptiedmorecoachesthananymaninEngland,hewasneveratalossforadmirers.
  UnderAllenheservedabrilliantapprenticeship.Enrolledasaservant,hespeedilysatatthemaster'srighthand,andhisnimblebrainsdevisedmanyaprettycampaign.Forawhilesuccessdoggedthehorse-hoofsofthegang;withwealthcameimmunity,andnotoneofthewarriorshadthemisfortunetolookoutupontheworldthroughagrate.Theyrobbedwithdignity,evenwithsplendour.Nowtheywoulddriveforthinacoachandfour,carryingwiththemawholearmouryofoffensiveweapons;
  nowtheywouldtaketheroadapparelledasnoblemen,andattendedatadiscreetdistancebytheirproperservants.Butrecklessnessbroughttheinevitabledisaster;anditwasnolessapersonagethanOliverCromwellwhoovercamethehithertoinvincibleAllen.AhandfulofthegangattackedOliveronhiswayfromHuntingdon,butthemarauderswereoutmatched,andthemostofthemwereforcedtosurrender.Allen,takenred-handed,swungatTyburn;Hind,withhisbettermountanddefterhorsemanship,rodeclearaway.
  Thelossofhisfriendwasalessonincaution,andhenceforthHindresolvedtofollowhiscraftinsolitude.Hehadembellishedhisnativetalentwithalltheinstructionthatotherscouldimpart,andhereflectedthathewhorodealoneneitherranriskofdiscoverynorhadanyneedtosharehisbooty.Thushebeganhiseasy,untrammelledcareer,makingtimeandspaceofnoaccountbyhisrapid,fearlessjourneys.NowhewasprancingthemoorsofYorkshire,nowhewasscouringtheplainbetweenGloucesterandTewkesbury,butwhereverherode,hehadapurseinhispocketandajestonhistongue.Torecallhisprowessistoridewithhiminfancyundertheopenskyalongthefair,beatenroad;toputupwithhimatthebusy,whiteposthouse,todrinkunnumberedpintsofmulledsackwiththeround-belliedlandlord,toexchangeboastfulstoriesoverthehospitablefire,andtorideforthinthemorningwiththejoyousuncertaintyoftraveluponyou.Failurealonelayoutsidehisexperience,andhepresentlybecameatoncetheterrorandtheheroofEngland.
  Notonlywashiscourageconspicuous;luckalsowashisconstantcompanion;andahappybewitchmentprotectedhimforthreeyearsagainstthepossibilityofharm.HehadbeenlyingatHatfield,attheGeorgeInn,andsetoutintheearlymorningforLondon.
  Ashenearedthetown-gate,anoldbeldamebeggedanalmsofhim,andthoughHind,notlikingherill-favouredvisage,wouldhavespurredforward,thebeldame'sglitteringeyeheldhishorsemotionless.`Goodwoman,'criedHind,flingingheracrown,`Iaminhaste;prayletmepass.'`Sir,'answeredthewitch,`threedaysIhaveawaitedyourcoming.Wouldyouhavemelosemylabournow?'AndwithHind'sassentthesphinxdeliveredhermessage:`CaptainHind,'saidshe,`yourlifeisbesetwithconstantdanger,andsincefromyourbirthIhavewishedyouwell,mypoorskillhasdevisedaperfectsafeguard.'Withthisshegavehimasmallboxcontainingwhatmighthavebeenasundialorcompass.`Watchthisstar,'quothshe,`andwhenyouknownotyourroad,followitsguidance.Thusyoushallbepreservedfromeveryperilforthespaceofthreeyears.
  Thereafter,ifyoustillhavefaithinmydevotion,seekmeagain,andIwillrenewthevirtueofthecharm.'
  Hindtooktheboxjoyfully;butwhenheturnedtomurmurawordofgratitude,thewitchstruckhisnag'sflankswithawhitewand,thehorseleaptvehementlyforward,andHindsawhisbenefactressnomore.Henceforth,however,awarningvoicespoketohimasplainlyasdidthedemontoSocrates;andhadhebutobeyedthebeldame'sadmonition,hemighthaveescapedaviolentdeath.ForhepassedthelastdayofthethirdyearatthesiegeofYoughal,where;deprivedofhappyguidance,hewasseriouslywounded,andwhencehepresentlyregainedEnglandtohisownundoing.
  Solongashekepttotheroad,hislifewasonelongcomedy.
  Hiswitandaddresswereinexhaustible,andfortuneneverfoundhimataloss.Hewouldavertsuspicionwiththetuneofapsalm,aswhen,habitedlikeapiousshepherd,hebrokeatraveller'sheadwithhiscrook,anddeprivedhimofhishorse.
  Anearlyadventurewastoforceapot-valiantparson,whohaddrunkacuptoomuchatawedding,intoararelyfarcicalsituation.Hind,havingrobbedtwogentlemen'sservantsofaroundsum,wentamblingalongtheroaduntilheencounteredaparson.`Sir,'saidhe,`Iamcloselypursuedbyrobbers.You,Idareswear,willnotstandbyandseemeplundered.'Beforetheparsoncouldprotest,hethrustapistolintohishand,andbadehimfireitatthefirstcomer,whileherodeofftoraisethecounty.Meanwhiletherifledtravellerscameupwiththeparson,who,straightway,mistakingthemforthieves,firedwithouteffect,andthen,ridingforward,flungthepistolinthefaceofthenearest.Thustheparsonoftheparishwasdraggedbeforethemagistrate,whileHind,beforehisdupecouldfurnishanexplanation,hadplacedmanyamilebetweenhimselfandhisadversary.
  Thoughhecouldonoccasionshowacleanpairofheels,Hindwasneverlackinginvaliance;and,anotherday,meetingatravellerwithahundredpoundsinhispocket,hechallengedhimtofightthereandthen,stakedhisownhorseagainstthemoney,anddeclaredthatheshouldwinwhodrewfirstblood.`IfIamtheconqueror,'saidthemagnanimousCaptain,`Iwillgiveyoutenpoundsforyourjourney.Ifyouarefavouredoffortune,youshallgivemeyourservant'shorse.'Thetermswereinstantlyaccepted,andintwominutesHindhadrunhisadversarythroughthesword-arm.ButfindingthathisvictimwasbutapoorsquiregoingtoLondontopayhiscomposition,henotonlyreturnedhismoney,butsoughthimoutasurgeon,andgavehimthebestdinnerthecountrysidecouldafford.
  Thusitwashispleasuretoactasaprovidence,manyatimerobbingPetertopayPaul,andstrippingtheniggardthathemightindulgehisferventloveofgenerosity.Ofallusurersandbailiffshehadawholesomehorror,andmerrywastheprankwhichheplayedupontheextortionatemoney-lenderofWarwick.Ridingonaneasyreinthroughthetown,Hindheardatumultatastreetcorner,andinquiringthecause,wastoldthataninnkeeperwasarrestedbyathievishusurerforapaltrytwentypounds.
  Dismounting,thisprovidenceinjack-bootsdischargedthedebt,cancelledthebond,andtooktheinnkeeper'sgoodsforhisownsecurity.Andthereuponovertakingtheusurer,`Myfriend!'heexclaimed,`Ilentyoulateasumoftwentypounds.Repayitatonce,orItakeyourmiserablelife.'Theusurerwasobligedtoreturnthemoney,withanothertwentyforinterest,andwhenhewouldtakethelawoftheinnkeeper,wasshownthebonddulycancelled,andwasfloggedwellnightodeathforhispains.
  SoHindrodetheworldupanddown,redressinggrievanceslikeanEasternmonarch,andrejoicingintheabasementoftheevildoer.
  Norwasthespiritofhisadventureboundedbytheocean.
  Morethanoncehecrossedtheseas;theHagueknewhim,andAmsterdam,thoughthesesomnolentcitiesgavesmalloccasionforthedisplayofhistalents.ItwasfromScillythathecrossedtotheIsleofMan,where,beingrecommendedtoLordDerby,hegainedhighfavour,andreceivedinexchangeforhisjestsacomfortablestipend.Hitherto,saidtheChronicles,thievingwasunknownintheisland.Amanmightwalkwhitherhewould,abagofgoldinonehand,aswitchintheother,andfearnodanger.
  ButnosoonerhadHindappearedatDouglasthanhonestcitizenswerepilferedateveryturn.IndismaytheysoughttheprotectionoftheGovernor,whoinstantlysuspectedHind,andgallantlydisclosedhissuspicionstotheCaptain.`Mylord!'
  exclaimedHind,ablushuponhischeek,`Iprotestmyinnocence;
  butwillinglywillIsuffertheheaviestpenaltyofyourlawifI
  amrecognisedforthethief.'Thevictims,confrontedwiththeirrobber,knewhimnot,picturingtotheGovernoramonsterwithlonghairandunkemptbeard.Hind,acquittedwithapologies,fetchedfromhislodgingthedisguiseofperiwigandbeard.
  `Theylaughwhowin!'hemurmured,andthusforcedforgivenessandachuckleevenfromhisjudges.
  Asbecameagentleman-adventurer,CaptainHindwasstaunchinhisloyaltytohismurderedKing.Tostripthewealthywasalwaysreputable,buttorobaRegicidewasamasterpieceofwell-doing.
  AferventzealtolightenCromwell'spockethadbroughttheillustriousAllentothegallows.ButHindwasnotonewhitabashed,andhewouldneverforegothechanceofanencounterwithhiscountry'senemies.HistreatmentofHughPetersinEnfieldChaceisamonghistriumphs.AtthefirstencounterthePresbyterianpluckedupcourageenoughtoopposehisadversarywithtexts.ToHind'scommandof`Standanddeliver!'dulyenforcedwithaloadedpistol,theineffablePetersrepliedwithox-eyesanctimoniouslyupturned:`Thoushaltnotsteal;lethimthatstole,stealnomore,'addingtheretoothervariationsoftheeighthcommandment.Hindimmediatelycounteredwithexhortationsagainsttheawfulsinofmurder,andrebukedtheblasphemyoftheRegicides,who,todefendtheirowninfamy,wouldwrestScripturefromitsmeaning.`Didyounot,Omonsterofimpiety,'mimickedHindinthepreacher'sownvoice,`pervertforyourownadvantagethewordsofthePsalmist,whosaid,``Bindtheirkingswithchains,andtheirnobleswithfettersofiron''?Moreover,wasitnotSolomonwhowrote:``Mendonotdespiseathief,ifhestealtosatisfyhissoulwhenheishungry''?AndisnotmysoulhungryforgoldandtheRegicides'
  discomfiture?'Peterswasstillfumblingaftertextswhenthefinalargument:`Deliverthymoney,orIwillsendtheeoutoftheworld!'frightenedhimintosubmission,andthirtybroadpieceswereHind'sreward.
  NotlongafterwardsheconfrontedBradshawnearSherborne,and,havingtakenfromhimapursefatwithJacobuses,hebadetheSergeantstanduncoveredwhilehedeliveredadiscourseupongold,thusshapedbytradition:`Ay,marry,sir,thisisthemetalthatwinsmyheartforever!Opreciousgold,IadmireandadoretheeasmuchasBradshaw,Prynne,oranyvillainofthesamestamp.Thisisthatincomparablemedicament,whichtherepublicanphysicianscallthewonder-workingplaster.Itistrulycatholicinoperation,andsomewhatakintotheJesuit'spowder,butmoreeffectual.Thevirtuesofitarestrangeandvarious;itmakesjusticedeafaswellasblind,andtakesoutspotsofthedeepesttreasonmorecleverlythancastle-soapdoescommonstains;italtersaman'sconstitutionintwoorthreedays,morethanthevirtuoso'stransfusionofbloodcandoinsevenyears.`Tisagreatalexiopharmick,andhelpspoisonousprinciplesofrebellion,andthosethatusethem.Itmiraculouslyexaltsandpurifiestheeyesight,andmakestraitorsbeholdnothingbutinnocenceintheblackestmalefactors.`Tisamightycordialforadecliningcause;itstiflesfactionorschism,ascertainlyastheitchisdestroyedbybutterandbrimstone.Inaword,itmakeswisemenfools,andfoolswisemen,andbothknaves.Theverycolourofthispreciousbalmisbrightanddazzling.Ifitbeproperlyappliedtothefist,thatisinadecentmanner,andacompetentdose,itinfalliblyperformsallthecureswhichtheevilsofhumanitycrave.'Thushavingspoken,hekilledthesixhorsesofBradshaw'scoach,andwentcontemptuouslyonhisway.
  ButhewasnotaCavaliermerelyinsympathy,norwashecontenttoprovehisloyaltybyrobbingRoundheads.He,too,wouldstrikeablowforhisKing,andheshowed,firstwiththeroyalarmyinScotland,andafterwardsatWorcester,whathedaredinarighteouscause.Indeed,itwashispartintheunhappybattlethatcosthimhislife,andthereisastrangeironyinthereflectionthat,ontheself-samedaywhereonSirThomasUrquhartlosthispreciousmanuscriptsinWorcester'skennels,theneckofJamesHindwasmaderipeforthehalter.Hiscapturewasduetotreachery.Towardstheendof1651hewaslodgedwithoneDenzys,abarber,overagainstSt.Dunstan'sChurchinFleetStreet.Maybehehadchosenhishiding-placeforitsneighbourhoodtoMollCutpurse'sownsanctuary.Butapackoftraitorsdiscoveredhim,andhalinghimbeforetheSpeakeroftheHouseofCommons,gothimcommittedforthwithtoNewgate.